Discussion Anxiety / Depression / Suicidal and Sex Life (please keep SFW)

[TowerUpright]

For the last three plus years, I've had some serious libido issues. As in, not having any. Towards anyone. I hate the idea of sex, but being married really doesn't give me an out. Both of us are over 40 and her sex drive seems to be increasing. I've not had any really pleasure out of it at all. Once, when having more alcohol that I should have along with a Benzodiazapene, we apparently has, in her words, the best sex of our marriage. I blacked out, with the drug / alcohol combination and have practically no memory of the event (but I believe her 100%, as I scantly recall a very, very small portion of the evening). Since then, recalling that incident has been a starter for a depression starter for me. My Testosterone is in normal limits (rechecked multiple times) and Viagra does practically nothing.

I'm really wondering - is this old age catching up (I'm 40+)? Is this my anxiety and depression? Am I just F'd up? And, am I alone?

This whole event feeds into my desire to CTB. I hate thinking about, but want to, since it impacts me.

Sorry if this is TMI - I'm being open and honest.

 

[throwaway123]

This is all because you're suicidally depressed. This is very normal.

Try other meds. There are antidepressants out there that increase libido.

 

[Pointlessabyss]

Sex, drugs and alcohol? What more do you want?

Only messing, it will all be a mind over matter thing, you obviously use to enjoy it otherwise you woudont be married.

We all lose sight / libido but don't you have some fantasies / things that get you excited you'd like to try ?

 

[Severen]

For the last three plus years, I've had some serious libido issues. As in, not having any. Towards anyone. I hate the idea of sex, but being married really doesn't give me an out. Both of us are over 40 and her sex drive seems to be increasing. I've not had any really pleasure out of it at all. Once, when having more alcohol that I should have along with a Benzodiazapene, we apparently has, in her words, the best sex of our marriage. I blacked out, with the drug / alcohol combination and have practically no memory of the event (but I believe her 100%, as I scantly recall a very, very small portion of the evening). Since then, recalling that incident has been a starter for a depression starter for me. My Testosterone is in normal limits (rechecked multiple times) and Viagra does practically nothing.

I'm really wondering - is this old age catching up (I'm 40+)? Is this my anxiety and depression? Am I just F'd up? And, am I alone?

This whole event feeds into my desire to CTB. I hate thinking about, but want to, since it impacts me.

Sorry if this is TMI - I'm being open and honest.

It could be you being depressed or you were too promiscuous in the past and you find sex with your wife to be boring or she let herself go...

 

[Mstrflshr]

Try using weed.

 

[Severen]

This is all because you're suicidally depressed. This is very normal.

Try other meds. There are antidepressants out there that increase libido.

Wellbutrin is one of the anti depressants that does this.

 

[Pointlessabyss]

she let herself go...

Spat out my beer reading this!

 

[Kyrok]

I'm 53, certainly reduced libido. When I was on Effexor, down to zero.

Frankly, I don't really care about it.

 

[TowerUpright]

Thanks, all. I have been on Wellbutrin for close to 2 decades, with nothing else until recently. I don't think it's drug related. Anything is possible I guess.

I'm leaning more towards the issue being depression related, and old age. I wish I didn't care about it, but it's a source of struggle on the home front and, whenever there's a strong disagreement, my suicidal thoughts kick into overdrive.

 

[k75]

I believe there's a very good chance it's depression related. Anhedonia is a very common side effect of depression. Things you used to enjoy just don't feel good anymore. Sex drive or enjoyment diminishes. And even if you do get in the mood, it can be super hard or impossible to reach orgasm. Hobbies feel like chores. In my experience, even food and sense of taste are affected. I don't even like eating anymore because absolutely everything is somehow bland but also has a horrible aftertaste at the same time.

 

[marcusuk63]

I`m 56 and as you get older your sex drive does diminish, i only have two sex partners now instead of four

 

[Rukia]

I had a period of no libido, didint even look at men lol...probably due to depression...but who knows...it was in my twenties...
Then I had a period of increased libido I think because of increased testosterone level...
Now almost non existent, I say good riddance...probably due to use of antipsychotics...but will read the leaflet out of curiosity lol...not sure...

 

[a_strange_day]

I definitely believe it's depression related. I myself switch a lot between being sort of a sex addict and weeks of no desire at all.
the only thing that dosen't change is that once I start something, I just want to be somewhere else, it's kinda embarrassing.