antidepressants are making me worse

[judestfrancis]

ive just started a new dose of antidepressants and my self harm urges just skyrocketed. ive been thinking about ctb all day and i feel horrible. i want to do it tomorrow, but i dont have any of my stuff planned or prepped. anyone else had this issue? ive been on 50gm Citalopram before, now on 50gm setraline (idk if thats what its called, box is at home) and its always been the same outcome. depression just feels so much worse. im not gonna stop taking them because i wanna try to get better, but god i don't think im gonna make it through the week without more scarring

 

[Unbolted0605]

Hello,

Maybe SSRIs don't agree with you? They can take some time to settle down, in any case. I wish doctors would warn people about this, but they never seem to. Maybe they think it would placebo people into worse outcomes if they said this?

I'm rambling. What I think you should maybe do is call a sympathetic friend or family member, or your country's mental health hotline, if there is one, or Samaritans, and just vent a bit to someone who should (hopefully) be able to listen.

I *think* you can safely tell them you're having strong thoughts of and urges to self-harm, as you've said here. I can't advise you beyond that, I don't want to meddle unduly.

If talking isn't an option for whatever reason, here can be a decent place to vent too, I'm sure people less unbearable than me will come to this thread.

And if you're still feeling bad in a few days or a week, call your doctor and say this one's not working out. I am NOT a doctor but in my experience SSRIs do not agree with me at all, but I'm having decent results from an SSNI, which is overall a much calmer change.

Wishing you well! Sorry for any unwanted/wrong advice, it's all just my opinion

 

[bitofftoomuch]

This is an established phenomenon to the point some psychs warn about it before prescribing antidepressants. Depression can often have a protective, relaxing effect in people. If you enter a "deep rest" you may feel content to keep drifting at that speed. It's not exactly "happy" but it can in the right surrounding circumstances be stable and relaxing enough that people often don't self harm -- the main problem with this usually is that our busybody capitalist society wishes to punch us in the mouth economically speaking if we try to exist in such a manner, so this process is pathologized and people are made to self-loathe over it.

Anyways, anti-depressants can remove that almost sedated feeling, and leave people anxious and scrambling to self harm. Especially during the first few weeks of a new one. You may feel differently in a few weeks, or not, it varies. I ultimately stuck with anti-depressants because I knew that if I chose depression instead I'd be too non-functioning to survive economically. But if one has access to a stabile and secure place to rest it may just be better to enjoy that protection.

 

[wren-briar]

If you have hope that they'll help (which it sounds like you do) then I'd encourage you to see if you can stay at a supportive friend's place or possibly a Peer Respite Center for a week or so.

Supportive friends and peers can help you stay focused on getting better until you decide whether the drugs are actually going to be effective or not.

Supportive friends are also likely to notice any side effects, and can help you decide whether such side effects are worth the intended and actual effects. Peers can do this to a degree, but since they don't already know you, they may not notice side effects nearly as much as friends.

Fwiw: I did the meds thing for decades. I probably tried about a couple dozen meds, some of them I tried again at different points in my life. I'm bipolar, and I've only sought meds that help with the depression aspect; I've simply done all I can to avoid meds that might trigger mania, as the singular manic episode that I ever had was triggered by post-surgical meds, and post-surgical meds have triggered hypomanic episodes with every subsequent surgery, except my very last surgery (when staff finally took my concerns about it seriously; fwiw: they gave me a nerve blocker instead of surgical pain meds).

I've only ever found two meds that actually helped with the depression. Both of them eventually stopped helping, and one of them, after being off and on it for decades, started to cause cognitive issues, which only got worse when the supposed MH "professionals" just increased the dose, ignored my concerns about the cognitive issues, added a new drug to the mix (at a really turbulent time in my life, so judging it's effects and side-effects was nigh impossible), which caused the cognitive issues to skyrocket, and ... well the supposed MH "professionals" just kept making the situation drastically worse at every step, until they drove me from try to get better and made me actively suicidal all while ensuring that I was deprived of the actual and exclusively unbiased medical care that I sought.

Which is to say, if you do find a med that helps, know that it may not continue to help and side effects may start to be a problem further down the line (like decades down the line). I wouldn't advise anyone to completely avoid meds because of this, but you should absolutely know that this can happen. (Alsso, since you've also been diagnosed with any MH issue, know that MH and medical "professionals" may use that very diagnosis as a weapon against you when you are seeking help for other problems, other problems that may be related to your MH, may be exclusively caused by the MH meds, but also which may be completely unrelated to your MH.)

 

[Lost Magic]

It will take your body about 4 to 6 weeks to adapt to the drug. I take Prozac (30mg). I used to take 40mg, but it was making me worse. I was getting muscle spasm and more manic on that dose. So maybe your dose will need to be readjusted. Best to speak to your doctor or otherwise, to tell him/her how you are feeling. Best!