Discussion Anti suicide helplines are low-key useless

[Cyagangy]

Hey, while my title might seem dumb I need to specify that this is using the thought process of someone who genuinely wants to die. Suicide hotlines are valid for people who DON'T wish to die. I know it's weird to say this but we should probably try gatekeeping suicide. This is because there is a distinct difference in those who crave death compared to those who kinda just want it. If someone truly wishes to die they would tell no one. They would hold a facade and seem normal on the outside while meticulously planning out their end. But people who use these numbers aren't like that. They don't want to die they don't know how to live and that's completely okay. If you are contemplating suicide and genuinely can't decide if you should die or not then it means you aren't ready. If someone truly held their desire to see the end they would have a plan in motion and seek no help. This is a weirdly anti-suicide message from someone who is pro-choice but no longer suicidal but I think someone needed to hear it.

 

[Equilibrium]

Had the same thought when I was calling helplines realizing none of their advice applied to me. I wasn't just having a hard time coping with living i just didn't want to exist anymore. I was beyond broken and ended going to jail cause of the lack of resources for those who crave death. Sucks that my plan was foiled by rules and laws that society entails. Don't know what I'm going to do now.

 

[idelttoilfsadness21]

I remembered one time I needed a therapist to go to me directing when I needed them and this was after COVID, and I was living with prior roommates that was sick, and they wouldn't even come to be, even though I wasn't sick and was healthy during the call… they were so useless when I needed them the most especially as I was dealing with bullying

 

[fuewybfunsfoiceoi]

It seems to be for folks who are more inclined to live life. They don't say much in order to avoid responsibility of the caller's decisions. They avoid conversation about ctb aside from safety assessment, is what I've noticed. These restrictions cause any communication to be less meaningful.

 

[Namelesa]

Suicide hotlines are often not helpful for people who do want to live but are suicidal cus of the bad advice they give and the fear of locking you up to keep you "safe" without consent if you say about a plan to commit suicide but most psyche wards just make us feel worse and so don't help with not being suicidal.

Some people that truly want to die can want to talk about it as they may not have access to any effective methods and be too scared of the consequences of a failed attempt. These people talk about it cus they want to vent out their suffering to make life easier but they would ctb if they knew their next attempt would be guaranteed. If there was a button of me to have a guaranteed death I would press it without any hesitation. I am mostly alive cus of the lack of any good methods.

 

[nails]

these hotlines just piss me off, lol

 

[Cyagangy]

Had the same thought when I was calling helplines realizing none of their advice applied to me. I wasn't just having a hard time coping with living i just didn't want to exist anymore. I was beyond broken and ended going to jail cause of the lack of resources for those who crave death. Sucks that my plan was foiled by rules and laws that society entails. Don't know what I'm going to do now.

i'm sorry about that friend. Off topic but nice to meet a fellow Persona pfp.

 

[EternalShore]

yeahhhh~ >_< altho, not everyone is as far gone as people like us here tho~ perhaps, they can be useful for those people~ :) like those who are just being impulsive~ >_<
but yeahhh, I think they're useless for myself personally! :/ and many people like you, and I figure many like you do too~ :) They just care about safety plans and keeping you alive rather than bettering anything in anyone's lives! :/

 

[Zoalius]

Like i agree on the suicide lines are for those who want to survive, or are on the fence for the suicide, i do think they still are suicidal though and should be classified as such. The other part about not telling others i agree less with. Like i am going to die in a few months when everything i need finally arrives, but i have told about my plans in quite some detail to a few friends, who can't stop me (they are internet friends, and don't know my real name or adress). Ofc, it was kinda accidental and happened bc i was drunk, but still. I'm not telling my therapist, my family, or so on, but i did tell some people.

Funny enough, it kinda worked in my favor, bc they all think im not actually going to go through with it bc i told them lol

 

[G000pie]

I haven't called a ton of times and haven't said while on the call that I wanted to kill myself but... depends on who picks up. Some were actually really nice, a couple were fellow anxiety-sufferers and talked about how they personally coped with panic attacks since I get the really bad hyperventilation kind. Sometimes the company is nice. But other times they just talk like a robot and make me want to leave this world even more.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I see the choice to suicide as being a pathway with multiple other pathways leading off from it along the way. Someone at the very beginning of that pathway may well be of multiple minds about it. They may not entitely want to die but, they likely are having very severe difficulties in life. I suppose at that stage, I think it's maybe probable that they will reach out in some fashion. To a friend, family member, to a helpline maybe. Maybe self help books or, therapy.

Really though, I think it's a far more complex situation than being 100% sure or not. There are some extremely suicidal members here who have backed out from attempts at the last minute and sought help. Even voluntarily committing themselves. I suppose I think the act of asking for help obviously shows there's still some curiosity (maybe still a small amount of hope) about life but I don't think it necessarily means their desire to die isn't strong.

I suppose what is debatable is to whether the 'help' a very deeply suicidal person receives is enough to set them on a different path. That, I'm not at all sure about. It depends on the individual I guess. I'm not convinced it's worked on members here.

But sure, I can't personally fathom why I would phone people who's job it is to prevent suicides before making an attempt, unless I wanted to be stopped in some way. Still- can any of us truly know we want to die until we make an attempt? I suppose I think that will be the real test for me. Do I want it enough to get over SI and the fear?

Really though, I don't think any form of support or therapy will work unless we're willing to change ourselves. That's the reason it no longer appeals to me. I don't feel like I have the flexibility to agree to work on the things I find most challenging in life now. So, it would be a waste of both our time. I see it as being given a lecture on a very difficult subject and being told you have to go home and study to prepare for the exam but- you don't bother to do the homework! You can't really expect to pass then. Maybe suicidal people get to a point where they are just too stubborn to change. Not sure.

 

[atrophy]

I called a hotline because I was cutting and I didn't want to feel horrible anymore.

They just told me not to be depressed, "why can't you just be not depressed" in the exact words. That was 3 years ago.

As you have said hotlines are for people who are lost, don't know how to live on but don't want to die too. They just need someone to give them hope maybe.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Yeah, hotlines are useless and bullshit for somebody like me. I want to be dead, I don't want to be dealing with any anti suicide bullshit. I'm not wrong for what I'm going to do and I refuse to let society tell me otherwise all because they've been indoctrinated to believe that "life good and death bad"