Discussion Antenatalism - what should society think about before having children?

[LittleJem]

I'm taking this out of a different thread....:inspired by @Sunshine

I just want to say that I agree that people should think twice before they have children - both about illnesses and genetic conditions (when breeding pedigree dogs you aim to breed out health issues), and also financially. There are 1000s of children living in hunger and poverty in London, the UK, the world. And people bringing more children into poverty and hunger. At least the option of not having children and the benefits of not having children should be talked about more, rather than a bandwagon approach to having children where everyone is expected to have children. There are a lot of benefits to not having children - financial, freedom benefits (pre COVID) etc.... Also, the child abuse rates for the UK (they are the ones I have looked at) are so high - it is something like 1 in 5 people are abused in some way. So yes, we need to think more about the option of not bringing children into suffering situations. I personally decided not to have children - as I didn't think I (or my then-husband) could cope with them or look after them properly. I grew up with a mum with mental illness who was and is abusive, and I decided I wanted more for my children.

I have at times been sad about it - but I am also relieved as I would not be a fit mother and would not be able to cope. So while in some ways I know I have missed out on the love and the bond - I know 100% that this was the correct decision for me.

I would personally rather never have existed.

 

[Worthless_nobody]

One thing I definitely think parents should think long and hard about is that their child might die from suicide. If they could never accept this and could never sympathize with the feeling it's best to not have kids. It's something every parent should be prepared for. Life has suffering...no one can guarantee their child won't suffer. I'm going through this with my own mother trying to be open and honest and it's so so hard. I'm devastated to leave her because I'll ctb...I definitely wish I never existed. I didn't ask to be born and I definitely didn't ask for this bad hand I was dealt in life.

I am now an antinatalist... A few years back supposed to have a child (was raped not choice but I didn't have heart to abort at time) but she died before birth and as sad as suicidal it makes me that was for best.