Here too with Ana for 15+ years, I'm past the point of being able to change it neurologically and it'll be with me forever. Heard and felt, OP. <3 Here if you wanna chat.
@opheliaoveragain Thanks
the worst thing was if none of the events of last year didn't happen my eating disorder would have never come back. Everything was going great unil last year. I went from having the best year of my life to the worst year of my life.
2023 was the worst year of my life and family accuse me of being dramatic for saying it last year was the worst. Every single good thing I was looking forward too last year kept getting taken away from me at the last minute. I had so much bad luck
● January I was forced to see my relatives overseas, I loved the Covid19 pandemic travel restrictions because it was freedom never seeing these relatives anymore. My relatives in my parents home country ( African country) are just self centred horrible entiled people. All I was looking forward was going home.
I hated spending month seeing these awful relatives and things were going wrong too during my stay. At the airport When I was on the plane 5 minutes mid air the pilot cancelled the flight because damage was detected inside the plane. I was so mad because out of the thousands of planes in the sky why did our plane have to be the one with problems. The airline we used was just had poor service generally
Why couldn't this shit happen to another family. I was that annoyed
● February I was looking forward seeing in person again the man I loved. He turned out to be two faced horrible person and he has permanently messed with my head with his lying and mind games. I got fired for having poor customer service skills.
I kept messing up at work. I planned well my train journey and the train I was taking had only 2 stops for the office my boss chose in another that i have never been. The day I arrived at the station the train was cancelled and there was severe delays. I had to take another longer route and I struggled to find the office as the street was a confusing street
I turned up 2 hours late for work meeting. I am always good with directions.
After getting heartbroken, getting fired and things going wrong in the year the only good thing I had was getting into that masters programme at one of the UK'S top 20 universities.
1 week when i was supposed to be collecting my student ID I then discover my family can't afford the tuition fees.
The university didn't mention after they gave me my offer that I must pay £5 ,000 enrolment fee to start the course and the tuition fee is 13,000. My family fiances were weakened because of trip to visting parents country.
After that I just gave up on life.
I also overdose on OTC pain killers as a form of self harm pretty much every day. I'm at a CVS or Walgreens just about every other week buying Tylenol, ibuprofen, aspirin, etc in multiple 500 count bottles. Never so much as had a weird look.
@willitpass What the fuck no wonder why Americans have so many overdose deaths. In the UK we are only allowed to buy 3 packets of ibuprofen and paracetamol in the shops. The dosage from the shops is very low and the packets are hard to open
