Anoxeria is effecting my heart

[FireFox]

I have been abusing laxatives for 3 days straight. My heart rate feels so weak, I feel it struggling and I have no energy. My stomach keeps being runny.

I like the pain because it's numbs all the emotional pain I am feeling. This condition will kill me and I have accepted that.

Recovery no longer appeals to me because I have nothing to look forward too.

 

[willitpass]

I'm also on day 3 of a laxative binge. I've been abusing them on and off for almost a year now. Anorexia is hell on earth. My only consolation is that it may kill me. I'm sorry you're struggling with all of this. I hope you find peace somehow.

 

[opheliaoveragain]

Here too with Ana for 15+ years, I'm past the point of being able to change it neurologically and it'll be with me forever. Heard and felt, OP. <3 Here if you wanna chat.

 

[Lady Laudanum]

I've had an ED for more than half my life (I'm in my early-mid 20s) and I've run through basically the entire spectrum of ED presentations, at this point. Whenever my ED is not as bad, my substance abuse issues get out of control. At the moment my substance abuse is a bigger problem than my ED and I'm trying to figure out some way to get sober without causing a full on relapse with my ED.

My ED is a coping mechanism for PTSD. You know you're fucked up when you have coping mechanisms for your coping mechanisms.

 

[FireFox]

I'm also on day 3 of a laxative binge. I've been abusing them on and off for almost a year now. Anorexia is hell on earth. My only consolation is that it may kill me. I'm sorry you're struggling with all of this. I hope you find peace somehow.

@willitpass For me it's hard to stop abusing laxatives because in the UK laxatives can be brought easily without a prescription.

I can go into a UK pharmacy and buy 100 dulcolax tablets without the pharmacists questioning me but If I want to buy 20 tablets of Nytol sleeping pills the pharmacists question me.

It's madness nobody should be allowed to buy 100 laxatives easily.

I've had an ED for more than half my life (I'm in my early-mid 20s) and I've run through basically the entire spectrum of ED presentations, at this point. Whenever my ED is not as bad, my substance abuse issues get out of control. At the moment my substance abuse is a bigger problem than my ED and I'm trying to figure out some way to get sober without causing a full on relapse with my ED.

My ED is a coping mechanism for PTSD. You know you're fucked up when you have coping mechanisms for your coping mechanisms.

@Lady Laudanum PTSD is a cruel mental illness if a person is not safe in thier own mind then they are not safe anywhere.

 

[willitpass]

@willitpass For me it's hard to stop abusing laxatives because in the UK laxatives can be brought easily without a prescription.

I can go into a UK pharmacy and buy 100 dulcolax tablets without the pharmacists questioning me but If I want to buy 20 tablets of Nytol sleeping pills the pharmacists question me.

It's madness nobody should be allowed to buy 100 laxatives easily.

I live in the US where you can buy medications by the 500-1000 count depending on the med. I can buy thousands of laxatives at once and go through self check out and no one will bat an eye. It's a joke.

 

[opheliaoveragain]

I live in the US where you can buy medications by the 500-1000 count depending on the med. I can buy thousands of laxatives at once and go through self check out and no one will bat an eye. It's a joke.

Echoing this. The US is totally unchecked on the lax market. I could go buy 50 bottles of magnesium citrate if I wanted. Completely bonkers.

 

[willitpass]

Echoing this. The US is totally unchecked on the lax market. I could go buy 50 bottles of magnesium citrate if I wanted. Completely bonkers.

I also overdose on OTC pain killers as a form of self harm pretty much every day. I'm at a CVS or Walgreens just about every other week buying Tylenol, ibuprofen, aspirin, etc in multiple 500 count bottles. Never so much as had a weird look.

 

[Lady Laudanum]

@Lady Laudanum PTSD is a cruel mental illness if a person is not safe in thier own mind then they are not safe anywhere.

I had my first onset last year, after I got to a point where I wasn't dangerously underweight anymore. The brain fog was preferable to the absolutely nightmarish flashbacks.

 

[FireFox]

Here too with Ana for 15+ years, I'm past the point of being able to change it neurologically and it'll be with me forever. Heard and felt, OP. <3 Here if you wanna chat.

@opheliaoveragain Thanks the worst thing was if none of the events of last year didn't happen my eating disorder would have never come back. Everything was going great unil last year. I went from having the best year of my life to the worst year of my life.

2023 was the worst year of my life and family accuse me of being dramatic for saying it last year was the worst. Every single good thing I was looking forward too last year kept getting taken away from me at the last minute. I had so much bad luck

● January I was forced to see my relatives overseas, I loved the Covid19 pandemic travel restrictions because it was freedom never seeing these relatives anymore. My relatives in my parents home country ( African country) are just self centred horrible entiled people. All I was looking forward was going home.

I hated spending month seeing these awful relatives and things were going wrong too during my stay. At the airport When I was on the plane 5 minutes mid air the pilot cancelled the flight because damage was detected inside the plane. I was so mad because out of the thousands of planes in the sky why did our plane have to be the one with problems. The airline we used was just had poor service generally

Why couldn't this shit happen to another family. I was that annoyed

● February I was looking forward seeing in person again the man I loved. He turned out to be two faced horrible person and he has permanently messed with my head with his lying and mind games. I got fired for having poor customer service skills.

I kept messing up at work. I planned well my train journey and the train I was taking had only 2 stops for the office my boss chose in another that i have never been. The day I arrived at the station the train was cancelled and there was severe delays. I had to take another longer route and I struggled to find the office as the street was a confusing street

I turned up 2 hours late for work meeting. I am always good with directions.

After getting heartbroken, getting fired and things going wrong in the year the only good thing I had was getting into that masters programme at one of the UK'S top 20 universities.
1 week when i was supposed to be collecting my student ID I then discover my family can't afford the tuition fees.

The university didn't mention after they gave me my offer that I must pay £5 ,000 enrolment fee to start the course and the tuition fee is 13,000. My family fiances were weakened because of trip to visting parents country.

After that I just gave up on life.

I also overdose on OTC pain killers as a form of self harm pretty much every day. I'm at a CVS or Walgreens just about every other week buying Tylenol, ibuprofen, aspirin, etc in multiple 500 count bottles. Never so much as had a weird look.

@willitpass What the fuck no wonder why Americans have so many overdose deaths. In the UK we are only allowed to buy 3 packets of ibuprofen and paracetamol in the shops. The dosage from the shops is very low and the packets are hard to open