Another year has passed... I think we can handle this shit.

[edu0z]

I don't have anyone I can talk to about this and I just wanted to get it out my chest... I hope you are making progress in your recovery and that this year has been at least better than the last.

We have something called DID, at the beginning there were many fights, we lost many close people due to instability, and after so much time I think this is the first year in which things are improving. At least we have managed to agree on some important things to have a life, she is still with us but others do not reject her like before.

It's been more than a year and a half since the last time we were in anything remotely resembling therapy or with a specialist. We have managed to maintain a stable "social life" by hiding everything, pretending nothing is happening in front of others... when there is a switch, we all have the rule of acting like a person who used to be in here at the beginning and with whom people those around us are familiar, memory gaps used to be a pain in the ass at first but since we are alone most of the time now and we established certain rules, we can deal with it.. Some alters pretend better than others and I think those people who really know us for a long time can notice the switch, but they haven't distanced themselves so I guess if they notice it at least they don't care too much. We no longer express ourselves in plural or talk about other alters, now there is only one for everyone who is out of our heads at least as long as we can keep things under control. Everything can be maintained thanks to isolation. We have very important people for us but 90% of the time we are alone. Social networks for us are like pouring water on an anthill, so no WhatsApp or Telegram or any contact, just this forum.

This year we have been able to find some balance in this way. And despite having lost many people due to isolation, somehow I'm starting to see hope in the future.

It's been a long time since I've talked about these things outside of our heads, it's been a long time since I've spoken in plural... even though I'm not expressing it with my voice and I don't see anyone, in some way, it's like taking a weight off my shoulders. .

 

[sadwriter]

I'm so sorry that you have to deal with the stigma surrounding being a system and are feeling isolated because of it. A close family member of mine has OSDD, but only their parents and I know about it, and they haven't even told their therapist yet because of how their previous provider reacted to it. It really sucks that people aren't more accepting of systems, and I can imagine (slash have heard about) how exhausting masking must be. I hope that some time in the future you'll be able to find more people who accept you for (all of) you. In the meantime, though, it's awesome that you were brave enough to post about it here– I imagine that it took guts given the experiences that you've had, even if this site is anonymous.

 

[edu0z]

I'm so sorry that you have to deal with the stigma surrounding being a system and are feeling isolated because of it. A close family member of mine has OSDD, but only their parents and I know about it, and they haven't even told their therapist yet because of how their previous provider reacted to it. It really sucks that people aren't more accepting of systems, and I can imagine (slash have heard about) how exhausting masking must be. I hope that some time in the future you'll be able to find more people who accept you for (all of) you. In the meantime, though, it's awesome that you were brave enough to post about it here– I imagine that it took guts given the experiences that you've had, even if this site is anonymous.

Hi thanks. I hope your family member with OSDD finds a way to deal with it, therapy can sometimes be very complicated if you can't find a good therapist. Talking about this is strange for me because at first it was very difficult for us to accept it, and for some time now our strategy has been to deal with it in silence, trying not to be a nuisance to others. Sorry if I talk too much but I haven't talked about this freely for so long that now that I'm letting it out it's like I feel less crazy. There is a woman in the system and she is the one who has the hardest time pretending on the outside when we are in front of other people, the rest of us are men and have it easier . Our parents from the beginning acted as if nothing was happening, they ignored the problem even after several psychiatrists tried to explain it to them, so with them almost from the beginning we have tried to be as normal as possible trying to hide switches. There's a younger kid in the system, he's 13, and I remember our parents used to push him too hard. Luckily the boy has matured a lot.