sunny.sativa
organic
- Apr 2, 2019
- 317
i was 13. i stole a jar of frosting and cried myself to sleep after binging on it.
at 15, i threw up dinner for the first time.
age 17, i stopped eating completely. i loved the way my body looked for once.
in my 20's now and still can't feed myself properly.
but i don't have anorexia. i can't have my bony little dream body forever because i always fall back on food. i'm not fat yet.. but a few months ago, i was bodybuilding, vegetarian, had the body of a goddess. found my mojo, but life changed my situation and i lost my recovery mindset.
i can't stop eating. i can't stop wanting to NOT eat, as i'm shoveling more food into my fucking face, crying over the toilet bowl, telling myself i don't deserve this, all i have to do is take care of myself and do some fucking crunches and stop being a lazy, worthless POS.
it's really disgusting to me that people are actually sick and dying and would trade their chronic illness for something as petty as bulimia.
it's disgusting to me that i'd trade them, too.
at 15, i threw up dinner for the first time.
age 17, i stopped eating completely. i loved the way my body looked for once.
in my 20's now and still can't feed myself properly.
but i don't have anorexia. i can't have my bony little dream body forever because i always fall back on food. i'm not fat yet.. but a few months ago, i was bodybuilding, vegetarian, had the body of a goddess. found my mojo, but life changed my situation and i lost my recovery mindset.
i can't stop eating. i can't stop wanting to NOT eat, as i'm shoveling more food into my fucking face, crying over the toilet bowl, telling myself i don't deserve this, all i have to do is take care of myself and do some fucking crunches and stop being a lazy, worthless POS.
it's really disgusting to me that people are actually sick and dying and would trade their chronic illness for something as petty as bulimia.
it's disgusting to me that i'd trade them, too.