Another victim of the suicide hotline's bullshit, but he stood his ground

[TAW122]

I found a good reddit post where a guy who was accosted by the mental health system and the suicide hotline in the US stood his ground.

This is his post, by u/Brandonman24

So I replied to someone's post with this, but I thought I'd share my story here:

I was on my way home from work and was tired of going through the motions. I had scoped out a place to hang myself and I was ready. I called the hotline and talked to a man who may as well have told me I'd be better off dead. He was so monotone and incredibly dull. "Why do you wanna kill yourself?" "Ohhh I'm so sorry to hear that" those phrases in the most INSINCERE tone. After about 20 minutes or so, I hung up because he was bullshit. Fast forward an hour later, KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK! Police at my front door. I stepped outside and they had told me the suicide hotline had called and reported my location (which I never gave them?!?). Police told me I either go to the hospital or go to jail. So I go to the hospital. Police leave the emergency lobby and I get called into a room. I walk back there and take a seat. A therapist walks in and asks me if I'm going to hurt myself and I say no. She has the NERVE to give me a page with the suicide hotline number on it (LMAO) and sends me home. A couple months later, BAM! I get slapped with a $1,400 emergency room fine. It has now been 4 years since that happened and I have a nice big $1,400 bill sitting in collections because I can't make enough extra money to pay it off. Thanks suicide hotline for ruining my credit :)

To conclude: if you think you need to call them, go ahead. But from what I've learned, you MUST be careful with what you tell them. In my experience, they're more bad than they are good.

I'm glad he decided to stand his ground and oppose paying the $1,400 hospital bill for refusing services. This is what he said in reply to another user's reply:

Suggestion by u/JustChillaxMan

That's hella lame, and honestly you don't have to pay that whole $1,400 at once you can give a few bucks a month and they can't say shit if you're paying something. I've been in your shoes, it is rough, I've almost thrown myself off a bridge into traffic and I almost drowned myself with alcohol. I used o have screaming breakdowns in college and my only real outlet was art.

Brandonman24's reply:

Fuck their $1,400. I'm letting statue of limitations dissolve that shit. I refuse to pay that much for refusing services.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

That made me angry, I hate this world and its laws so fucking much talking to suicide hotlines, psychologists, psychiatrists etc. are all just trying to bait the forbidden words out of you they are not your friend they are not trying to help you.

I don´t understand how people don´t see we live in a tyrannical world and just because we have it better than others doesn´t make it good. I don´t get how people can´t see we are born into a world where we are FORCED to OBEY laws we never consented to, police are also just armed thugs but the majority of people like the police they just see that uniform and think what they are doing is okay e.g. stealing people´s property like "illegal" items (deemed illegal by a couple hundred in congress) and if you resist arrest they will kill you. When I see a police officers they might as well be wearing a Nazi uniform because they are the people who carry out these laws we never consented to and as I just said if you resist they will end up killing you. Sorry got a bit off topic I just get so angry that the police force a man into this situation.

And 1400$ fine is insane especially considered he wasn´t in control of being hospitalized he was kidnapped by the police and was given the ultimatum jail or hospitalization, poor guy and fuck those cops and fuck suicide hotlines fucking pro-lifers making the existence worse for people who are already suffering and they actually think they are the good guys but evil never see itselfs as evil they believe they are good people I beg to differ these people made this man´s already hard life even harder.

 

[Broken Chimera]

I hate reading stories like this. That's why you don't call the hotline. They're just looking for reasons to lock you up. There's literally hundreds of reports that tell you that's a bad idea. And they wonder why suicidal people don't talk about it. Why people just do it out of the blue. HEY FORCED LIFERS: THAT'S WHY! IF WE TRY TO GET HELP WE GET LOCKED UP AND DRUGGED WITH A MASSIVE BILL AND NO IMPROVEMENT!

 

[ChocolateCroissant]

Yeah this stuff is mostly just garbage. But I utilized their help at times. I don't find the "that sounds difficult. You're strong. Do you know breathing exercises?" Thing helpful. But I realize they're not really a friend or something or even your psych. Last time I crisis messaged them, I knew I had to do the old "nope, you changed my life with your breathing exercise Gif! Thanks for talking!! Xoxoxox" bullshit or they'd do something. I really had to vent and haha, I don't want to say all this cold suicide stuff to my friends obviously. But whatever, I won't utilize them again. This system needs some major corrections. I'm thankful that if I get hauled to emergency I don't have to pay but I'm angry for those like this person who has. The absolute absurdity of someone to say "you must stay here, despite the fact I could make your exit easy and dignified—- but while you're here I'm going to make your life even worse, have fun with your debt."

 

[Pryras]

Rather than call a busy hotline, I called a local woman's shelter who is open 24/7 and comprised of a dozen women. They keep your call on file and assign you to one person so you don't have to repeat yourself and relive the trauma. They know your story and can show genuine empathy towards your problems. It's ongoing like therapy, much more helpful than any crisis hotline with volunteers who don't give af and want to go home.

I have had a hard time speaking to complete strangers over the phone about my issues bc it sounds so trivial and burdening to them. There is rarely any connection or empathy involved. i still get the "have you tried deep breathing exercises ..?" comments but I feel it's more genuine than a hotline.

 

[autumnal]

[...]
This is his post, by u/Brandonman24
[...]
I was on my way home from work and was tired of going through the motions. I had scoped out a place to hang myself and I was ready. I called the hotline and talked to a man who may as well have told me I'd be better off dead. He was so monotone and incredibly dull. "Why do you wanna kill yourself?" "Ohhh I'm so sorry to hear that" those phrases in the most INSINCERE tone. After about 20 minutes or so, I hung up because he was bullshit. Fast forward an hour later, KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK! Police at my front door. I stepped outside and they had told me the suicide hotline had called and reported my location (which I never gave them?!?). [...]

His whole conflicting account and petulant attitude makes no sense. If he had found a place to hang himself and was ready, why the hell did he call the suicide hotline? What possible purpose was he thinking that would serve? Did he think that they would encourage him to suicide, or even just be ambivalent about his decision and not do their utmost to intervene? And it's a bit rich of him to then criticise the operator for their tone or personality, especially because a lot of them are unpaid volunteers. Was he secretely hoping that a more cheerful or charismatic operator might have talked him out of the decision he said he was ready to make? If so, then perhaps being saved or hospitalised was what he subconsciously desired? Additionally, wouldn't he have realised that claiming to be suicidal and then suddenly terminating the call would make it look like he was at more imminent risk? Surely anyone who has ever watched TV or a movie would know that emergency services can lookup the registered address of any landline or mobile number, and triangulate the location of a mobile phone (albeit neither happening quite as quickly or effortlessly as in fictional portrayals)? And he claims he doesn't want to be hospitalised, but then also resents the therapist for simply dismissing him with just the suicide hotline phone number? Does the think the therapist should have known there were 'monotone' operators there and so not endorsed that resource?

The only legitimate gripe this user seems to have is with the US healthcare costs in general, as well as the ethical questions around incurring such bills for involuntary treatment.

 

[darkhorse256]

Yeah, I would never call a hotline. I got so mad just reading that. Who are they to decide that you need to be locked up? If anything, locking someone up against their will would make the situation even worse because not only do they not want to be there, but they also have to pay for it. It's like a double whammy. Suicide hotlines aren't there to make you feel better. Their primary goal is for you to not CTB, no matter how painful living is for you. They're selfish and don't care about you whatsoever.

 

[TAW122]

His whole conflicting account and petulant attitude makes no sense. If he had found a place to hang himself and was ready, why the hell did he call the suicide hotline? What possible purpose was he thinking that would serve? Did he think that they would encourage him to suicide, or even just be ambivalent about his decision and not do their utmost to intervene? And it's a bit rich of him to then criticise the operator for their tone or personality, especially because a lot of them are unpaid volunteers. Was he secretely hoping that a more cheerful or charismatic operator might have talked him out of the decision he said he was ready to make? If so, then perhaps being saved or hospitalised was what he subconsciously desired? Additionally, wouldn't he have realised that claiming to be suicidal and then suddenly terminating the call would make it look like he was at more imminent risk? Surely anyone who has ever watched TV or a movie would know that emergency services can lookup the registered address of any landline or mobile number, and triangulate the location of a mobile phone (albeit neither happening quite as quickly or effortlessly as in fictional portrayals)? And he claims he doesn't want to be hospitalised, but then also resents the therapist for simply dismissing him with just the suicide hotline phone number? Does the think the therapist should have known there were 'monotone' operators there and so not endorsed that resource?

The only legitimate gripe this user seems to have is with the US healthcare costs in general, as well as the ethical questions around incurring such bills for involuntary treatment.

I think he may have wanted to give some final message before he (attemped to) CTB, but of course, we aren't there nor are we him so we don't know what exactly is going on in his mind. It's hard to tell what exactly his intentions are and can be interpreted in many ways. For me, personally, I think he wanted some closure and just a sense of "getting it off his chest" before he attempted, however, that backfired and things didn't go according to his plan and he failed and ended up with a record as well as medical bills.

 

[noaccount]

Rather than call a busy hotline, I called a local woman's shelter who is open 24/7 and comprised of a dozen women. They keep your call on file and assign you to one person so you don't have to repeat yourself and relive the trauma. They know your story and can show genuine empathy towards your problems. It's ongoing like therapy, much more helpful than any crisis hotline with volunteers who don't give af and want to go home.

I have had a hard time speaking to complete strangers over the phone about my issues bc it sounds so trivial and burdening to them. There is rarely any connection or empathy involved. i still get the "have you tried deep breathing exercises ..?" comments but I feel it's more genuine than a hotline.

I'm glad you found that alternative! And yeah that's an environment where hopefully people are more likely to understand what's happening as a social/political issue rather than medicalizing it.