Another suicidal month has come!

[WornOutLife]

Just WTF! Already April?
I can't believe how fast time is passing by these days.

I tried to ctb last August and it feels as it had been yesterday. Also, I thought I was gonna die last Jan, 21st. I had even posted a thread about it lol.

I don't know when the time will come but I'm really scared of getting older this fast.

Is this normal? Can anyone relate? Isn't time flying?

 

[Ameya]

With the constant lockdowns and nothing better to do time is flying

 

[Ender]

Time goes by so fast when you are suffering, ever hour, every minute. And to think that Spring is already here.

 

[rs929]

I still suffering the scars of my last suicidal attempt. Mostly psychological.

 

[Ameya]

Time goes by so fast when you are suffering, ever hour, every minute. And to think that Spring is already here.

I relate with this. I can't believe since all of the shit going around that it has been years already

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

Shit can't be over fast enough, but I also feel like I'm speed-running life (any%).

 

[ExhaustedExistence]

Exactly! This is the most suicidal month for me, because in this fucking month I will be 20 years old. I was planning ctb before my 20's birthday, but I don't have the guts to do it. I was also planning ctb before my 18's birthday, but here I am. I think I will never be able to kill myself.

 

[WornOutLife]

Exactly! This is the most suicidal month for me, because in this fucking month I will be 20 years old. I was planning ctb before my 20's birthday, but I don't have the guts to do it. I was also planning ctb before my 18's birthday, but here I am. I think I will never be able to kill myself.

Haha your reply reminds me of that month and year in which I turned 20! I was so afraid of having a fucking 2 on the right side.
However, things got worse and there came a day in which I turned 30! Trust me, you don't wanna experience that! lmao

 

[ExhaustedExistence]

Yeah, I'm afraid of the horrible number too. I really can't imagine my future. I don't want to be here anymore. I'm too scared of everything.

 

[Alec]

Yeah, I'm afraid of the horrible number too. I really can't imagine my future. I don't want to be here anymore. I'm too scared of everything.

Literally how I feel. I didn't know how to face 20. And it feels like yesterday I was 17, I'm 24 now I have no idea how this happened and the time went by so fucking fast and at the same time so fucking slow you know, each day suffering turns eternal but then a month has gone and son and on. I'm so scared of everything too and I'm scared of getting older. And I completely relate to the OP too

 

[Deathbydemo]

Another month of crippling pain and hopelessness. Yay. Can't wait to see what bullshit life has in store for me this month.

 

[Joey]

It does seem like time is flying by but I know it goes the same speed for everyone if you're stuck in a routine. Your brain can only remember so many days. That's what I believe.

 

[the_final_countdown]

Every day since I fell ill has felt like a dream. This medicine I took affected the way I think and emotionally plunged me into despair that's worse than any other feeling I ever felt.

Left me with the inability to easily laugh, feel my libido, and absolutely no motivation. Some kind of hormonal hell.

Every day since then. Life has felt like a dream. I can't participate in the simple joys of life. It's surreal. I can't feel good about anything. Everything is a distraction from unrelenting anxiety and pain. Every day. I just want it to end.

 

[WornOutLife]

It does seem like time is flying by but I know it goes the same speed for everyone if you're stuck in a routine. Your brain can only remember so many days. That's what I believe.

Exactly! I think the routine might be the problem here. Uneventful days suck.

 

[alown]

i understand what you feel because for me my days are shortened by taking refuge in sleep.

i have been suffering from severe insomnia the last few weeks going to bed late and waking up late, part of me doesn't want to wake up when i come back to reality after sleep so i force myself to try to fall asleep again.

i also think that as mentioned above the corona shortens the time.

the perception of reality by being aware is shortened.

 

[Marktheghost]

I hope I die before I get old.

I think that was a line from a song by The Who wasn't it?

 

[popcorn]

try some yoga, get plenty of vitamins and water also do some exercise then you will feel better (things mental health practitioners say) haha

on a serous note i know what you mean. i do also believe that drinking and medication changes your perception of time as we don't remember everything and sleep more. the lockdowns haven't helped, doing the same thing everyday has made this last year blur into one long never ending day

ive also noticed getting older is making time go quicker

 

[DarkWolf]

My head is a daze at the moment and time just feels extremely distorted. I would say its distressing but I feel nothing at all and nonexistent.
I thought I'd be dead by 21 and here I am at 24. I wish someone would just put me down already.

 

[Trisolaris]

Time sure is flying, despite the feeling that I can't handle another day.

 

[Amumu]

The more you get old, the more time seems to be flying, our perception is subjective.

 

[Phoenix]

100%. Time has never flown so fast. I keep noticing the date and panicking how quickly time is gone and that I'm still alive. STILL. I can't possibly do another year but time is going so fast.

 

[WornOutLife]

I'm glad to know I'm not the only whose time is flying.
For instance, yesterday felt like 2 hours. WTF!! lol

 

[Isisnefert]

Cada día desde que me enfermé se ha sentido como un sueño. Este medicamento que tomé afectó mi forma de pensar y me sumió emocionalmente en una desesperación que es peor que cualquier otro sentimiento que haya sentido.

Me dejó con la incapacidad de reírme fácilmente, sentir mi libido y absolutamente ninguna motivación. Una especie de infierno hormonal.

Todos los días desde entonces. La vida se ha sentido como un sueño. No puedo participar en las simples alegrías de la vida. Es surrealista. No puedo sentirme bien por nada. Todo es una distracción de la ansiedad y el dolor implacables. Cada día. Solo quiero que termine.

Same
I am more 30 years old, and each year that passes I have fewer opportunities to be someone useful again

 

[Trisolaris]

I'm glad to know I'm not the only whose time is flying.
For instance, yesterday felt like 2 hours. WTF!! lol

Lately, for me it seems that every day is longer than the previous one and not the other way around.

 

[Carrotcake]

Perhaps it's because all I'm doing is to try to "sit out the time" of the depression. Be patient and all shall pass. Hah. I'm still waiting. Weeks/months/years are a big blur. Once in a while I have a "it's fucking April" moment where the panic sets in of the hopelessness of it all so i try to ignore it and go back to the numbness.

 

[noname223]

For me it is rather the opposite when i am depressed. Time seems very slow.

 

[CheekyPhobia]

4 years late, but yeah, April snuck up on me too. Everything beyond high school has just been a blur.