Venting Another rant :>

[animetal]

Im genuinely excited to ctb now after tonight I realized there's nothing left here for me . I made a lot of memories but I feel me being here is just useless I've been abused for a good chunk of my life both mentally and physically, now that I'm older and processed everything that happened I just feel it's so unfair . I feel life would have never worked out for me anyways . I don't really know what's real and what's not anymore. I was just laying in my room scrolling on my phone and my mom kept opening the door and bothering me saying rude things and I told her to just go lay down because I'm not bothering her and she said it's my energy which makes no sense so I just got up and went to the garage and she said finally I can sleep as if she wasn't the one purposely getting up to go bother me . Having a narcissist mom was very harmful growing up I never could fully express myself, she never taught me how to properly bathe myself or do anything and it doesn't help that I'm autsistic so I had to surpress my whole self just for her to be happy . I hate being here now more than ever, I feel like I'm treated as a joke my whole life or people are just really condescending. I feel very dissociative from my body because of the things done to me . ctb feels more like freedom to me and I don't know what will happen after I die but I just hope I can finally be okay and at peace.

 

[The anhedonic one]

Narcissistic parents are vile, evil creatures. I too was massively unfortunate enough to have a narcissistic Mother. I despise her intensely for all the damage She did to me.
I'm so sorry you are going through this, and I hope you find peace in whatever you decide.

 

[LittleAngel]

Not sure If you're still alive but I wish you the best! May peace find you.

 

[MrDarkness]

I'm sorry to hear about your situation life can be so unfair some people are just given shitty lives on purpose, I hope your able to find peace in life or death

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds really awful what you've had to endure, it's horrible how in this dreadful world humans just create so much harm, to me the only relief certainly lies in death as I very strongly believe that we just cease existing after this, I understand why you would be looking forward to leaving so much. I hope that you eventually find the freedom you search for.