A
another@
Member
- Nov 13, 2022
- 96
Another night where I know no-one cares about me. Even my cat only feigns interest until I give it attention. Why can't I just do it already? I came back to this forum 4 times so far. Always drawn away by the fucking pro-lifers: telling me "if I just call this person..." Well I looked up all the things. It's pointless. I've practically been ghosted by "support systems" and my siblings hate me. When someone wants to talk to me about my problems there's a 100% chance they'll ask if I've "thought about moving out". Same goddamn condescending tone I've heard all my life is what I get for being plagued by my unnatural ability to give a damn about people who would throw me in a river if they got the chance. When I say that I do want to leave desperately they shut up, because their meager mask of sympathy has failed them. But I know damn well they were just convinced from the start that I didn't have problems. Because to them I'm just an insignificant toddler waiting to have my dreams broken for their amusement, who lives in an abusive household because "I'm lazy". Now I need to feel guilty for my inability to move out instead. Tell me, which situation should I tell you to not be guilt-tripped for something that is beyond my control: if I want to move out, or if I don't want to move out? I wish I could show them how it really feels by blowing my brains out with a handgun. But I doubt I'll ever get the fucking chance. Hooray
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