whatevs
Mining for copium in the weirdest places.
- Jan 15, 2022
- 2,914
I went to bed early and woke up early. No fucking use.
It's been 10 years now. At some point something went wrong and I started feeling unrefreshed upon waking up. Been to dozens of doctors, quacks, you name it. It takes away almost everything from you, ranging from sense of humour to sexual capacity. Of course, you also become noticeably dumber. Over time, it kills you via cardiovascular disease or something related with a depressed immune system. Slow, agonizing death. I am weak, I look haggard and dazed. I spend all winter feeling cold or getting ill and my sphere of activities is so limited that every time I visit town something has changed.
I literally live every day something similar to standard torture practices that you can read about in the defunct Soviet Union. By default, they disturbed the sleep of the prisoner, and then built from there.
I distracted myself last year studying to become a programmer but my body is telling me that all of that is useless and in fact impossible if we keep deteriorating. Sleep is essential, and I feel miserable every fucking day. If your quality of life is poor no matter what you do, it kind of nullifies the value that exerting effort promises. If this isn't solved, and I hate to say but I see no reason for it to be solved, I will have to CTB. Doctors have never even acknowledged that there is a problem, and sleep studies are useless, as have been sleeping pills.
It's been 10 years now. At some point something went wrong and I started feeling unrefreshed upon waking up. Been to dozens of doctors, quacks, you name it. It takes away almost everything from you, ranging from sense of humour to sexual capacity. Of course, you also become noticeably dumber. Over time, it kills you via cardiovascular disease or something related with a depressed immune system. Slow, agonizing death. I am weak, I look haggard and dazed. I spend all winter feeling cold or getting ill and my sphere of activities is so limited that every time I visit town something has changed.
I literally live every day something similar to standard torture practices that you can read about in the defunct Soviet Union. By default, they disturbed the sleep of the prisoner, and then built from there.
I distracted myself last year studying to become a programmer but my body is telling me that all of that is useless and in fact impossible if we keep deteriorating. Sleep is essential, and I feel miserable every fucking day. If your quality of life is poor no matter what you do, it kind of nullifies the value that exerting effort promises. If this isn't solved, and I hate to say but I see no reason for it to be solved, I will have to CTB. Doctors have never even acknowledged that there is a problem, and sleep studies are useless, as have been sleeping pills.
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