Venting Another bad experience with the helpline

[http-410]

I can't believe how non-empathetic some people from the helpline can be. How can it be that 98% of the time I call, I feel like I'm talking to the same old lady who thinks you're cured if you get committed, lol.

"You have to allow help".

Yeah come on, it's not like I haven't been doing this for over 10 years. I wish there was help, I really try hard, I fought for this therapy, do my exercises between sessions, but by now there is just nothing left of me that can heal. After all these efforts, to be told that I don't want to be helped and the way she brushed off the conversation, makes me even more desperate than I already am. Of course there are empathetic people from the helpline, mostly they are younger or had problems themselves in the past, but being connected to these people happens very rarely.

Yes, it may be pointless to call there, but I am desperate. What else am I supposed to do?

Tell my therapist? They've known it for a long time. Burden my friends with it? Never. Go to the doctor? "I'm afraid I don't know what to do either, we've tried everything" or "Take this pointless drug full of side effects (that may fuck you up long-term) I'm keeping quiet about and get back to me in three months."

Post on reddit? Forget it, you'll either be shadow banned for using Tor, met with incomprehension or toxic positivity, your post will be deleted, or you'll get some messages from a bot with numbers from the helpline. Some people mean well, but the advice they give is not feasible.

So here I am.

It's almost funny how futile everything is.

 

[hamvil]

I did not get to the point of using an help line. Google suggests me one in my country everytime I search for suicide related stuff. I have spent two years in therapy and medical care without much improvement. Now I have stopped both even if I pretend to take some antidepressants.

Do you think that at some point the doctor will be tired of testing drugs and will say that there is nothing to do? For the moment he just keeps insisting on therapy, but I do not want to start again.

I did not get anywhere with therapy in the past, we went over the same topics over and over again. I cannot snap out of them and the therapist did not manage to make me do it. Maybe I need to want to help myself as they say. If this is the case then I am helpless.

 

[Celerity]

I think the helplines are only meant for people considering suicide for the first time due to a temporary problem in their lives. They are completely unequipped for people like you and me. I had a godawful experience with Crisis Text Line. A robot would have been better.

 

[GettingOut]

For the last month, when I tried to call them, I get the following message, "All our agents are busy. Please send a text message to ####, or if it is a medical emergency call the police on ####."

Absolutely useless, I agree

 

[Lonerzepam]

I've never called them in my entire life cuz I knew they couldn't help at least with my problems at all. As someone here said there mainly made for "normies"

 

[FuneralCry]

Those helplines really sound useless and a waste of time to me. I don't see how they could ever take away any of the real suffering and problems that exists in this world. I'm sorry that you had a bad experience.

 

[hamvil]

Those helplines really sound useless and a waste of time to me. I don't see how they could ever take away any of the real suffering and problems that exists in this world. I'm sorry that you had a bad experience.

Indeed, if an helpline was all tha was needed to take away the pain I have we would all be fine.

 

[waitingforrest]

It's almost like we all called the exact same responder given how I've had the same experience. Then having the call end feeling worse but now with a sense of hopelessness and emptiness added to the mix.

I'm serriously considering making a bingo card just to see how many times they say the same unempathetic stuff if in the impossible chance I call them. I think it might actually distract me more from ctb than actually having to listen to them spew about how I just need to want help and try more and feeling worse because of it. Free space included of course.

 

[jodes2]

I can't believe how non-empathetic some people from the helpline can be. How can it be that 98% of the time I call, I feel like I'm talking to the same old lady who thinks you're cured if you get committed, lol.

"You have to allow help".

Yeah come on, it's not like I haven't been doing this for over 10 years. I wish there was help, I really try hard, I fought for this therapy, do my exercises between sessions, but by now there is just nothing left of me that can heal. After all these efforts, to be told that I don't want to be helped and the way she brushed off the conversation, makes me even more desperate than I already am. Of course there are empathetic people from the helpline, mostly they are younger or had problems themselves in the past, but being connected to these people happens very rarely.

Yes, it may be pointless to call there, but I am desperate. What else am I supposed to do?

Tell my therapist? They've known it for a long time. Burden my friends with it? Never. Go to the doctor? "I'm afraid I don't know what to do either, we've tried everything" or "Take this pointless drug full of side effects (that may fuck you up long-term) I'm keeping quiet about and get back to me in three months."

Post on reddit? Forget it, you'll either be shadow banned for using Tor, met with incomprehension or toxic positivity, your post will be deleted, or you'll get some messages from a bot with numbers from the helpline. Some people mean well, but the advice they give is not feasible.

So here I am.

It's almost funny how futile everything is.

Yeah fuck Reddit

 

[jane]

yea its a real issue that will porbably never be addressed... its fuckng sad

 

[http-410]

Since my last post, I've called there a few more times and unfortunately have always had bad experiences. People often try to find out what might be "enjoyable" for you. Trying to obsessively look for something positive, I think is very counterproductive. Someone who wants to kill themselves and constantly fantasizes about it will no longer find "joy" in going for a walk or painting mandalas (at least that's how it is for me). I also don't find it helpful when people tell you that angels or God got them out of their hopeless situation.

As soon as you say that you have already tried out many things, there is a long, awkward silence, they refer you to their app, or they ask why you called in the first place, which seems more like an accusation to me.

I too have the impression that the helpline is not trained for more serious cases beyond the norm.

But what else am I supposed to do? I can't fucking cope.

Stupidly, desperation makes me try again and again to clutch at every straw, only to be disappointed afterwards.

 

[makethepainstop]

For the last month, when I tried to call them, I get the following message, "All our agents are busy. Please send a text message to ####, or if it is a medical emergency call the police on ####."

Absolutely useless, I agree

I called a county anti ctb number telling them I was seeking help for serious depression. They so kindly told me I could get an appointment in 4 to 6 months. I told them I'll leave before that. If you say your wanting to ctb they will send deputies to hog tie you at imprison you at a "hospital". No thanks, been there done that! I

 

[GettingOut]

I called a county anti ctb number telling them I was seeking help for serious depression. They so kindly told me I could get an appointment in 4 to 6 months. I told them I'll leave before that. If you say your wanting to ctb they will send deputies to hog tie you at imprison you at a "hospital". No thanks, been there done that! I

It really is sickening! I wish this horrible world could come to an end

 

[chloramine]

Since my last post, I've called there a few more times and unfortunately have always had bad experiences. People often try to find out what might be "enjoyable" for you. Trying to obsessively look for something positive, I think is very counterproductive. Someone who wants to kill themselves and constantly fantasizes about it will no longer find "joy" in going for a walk or painting mandalas (at least that's how it is for me). I also don't find it helpful when people tell you that angels or God got them out of their hopeless situation.

As soon as you say that you have already tried out many things, there is a long, awkward silence, they refer you to their app, or they ask why you called in the first place, which seems more like an accusation to me.

I too have the impression that the helpline is not trained for more serious cases beyond the norm.

But what else am I supposed to do? I can't fucking cope.

Stupidly, desperation makes me try again and again to clutch at every straw, only to be disappointed afterwards.

I get that it's mostly volunteers who aren't sufficiently trained, but those responses just make it worse. I can't speak for everyone else here, but if someone asks me what I want my first thought is death.