Help Anhedonia Struggles

[Emily_Numb]

I've been trying to get my life back on track for the past year. I was free from all medications and then just had a bit of a breakdown last September and this entire year has been spent trying to drag myself out of it.

I'm back on a couple of medications along with monthly Ketamine infusions but I just can't seem to find that enjoyment in life anymore. I have absolutely zero motivation to do anything, I hate leaving the house, everything just feels like an exhausting chore. If I could just lay in bed and sleep all day, I would.

I've been here before, but have always managed to come back out the other side. I've spent thousands on therapy and medications over the years, but I keep ending up back here. This has gone on for 20 years and I'm tired of it.

This Anhedonia, emotional flatlining, this feeling of nothingness, no joy in anything makes me wonder what's the fucking point. I may as well be dead.

Has anyone managed to shake that feeling for any longer than a few days? It's like this big black cloud that follows me around. I can try to outrun it, but it always finds me.

 

[bigdog]

Anhedonia is fucking hell

 

[mellow]

Is the anhedonia a side effect of the medications?

If I could just lay in bed and sleep all day, I would.

Same as hell

 

[Mm80]

Im sorry that sounds awful and i admire the fact that you have tried to come off meds and do things naturally. I believe anhedonia to be dopamine related so it might be worth exploring that.
May i ask what ketamine is like as an antidepressant for you?

 

[BPD Barbie]

I wish I had some advice but I think I'm stuck in the same boat as you. I have no enjoyment in anything, no motivation, just a dull numbness for most things. All I 'enjoy' is laying in bed and sleeping.

 

[Emily_Numb]

Is the anhedonia a side effect of the medications?


Same as hell

I don't think it's a side affect. I've been on 20+ medications for mental health issues over the years so it's not something that's been triggered by my current med regime.

I've spent all afternoon in bed. What a waste of a life.

Anhedonia is fucking hell

It really is. I'd rather feel utter misery than nothing.

Im sorry that sounds awful and i admire the fact that you have tried to come off meds and do things naturally. I believe anhedonia to be dopamine related so it might be worth exploring that.
May i ask what ketamine is like as an antidepressant for you?

The Ketamine really helped get me out of an incredibly black hole back in January. I'm still taking it because although I'm not as bad as I was in January, I'm afraid if I stop the Ketamine treatment I'll go back to that.

I wish I had some advice but I think I'm stuck in the same boat as you. I have no enjoyment in anything, no motivation, just a dull numbness for most things. All I 'enjoy' is laying in bed and sleeping.

Fucking sucks doesn't it? I keep having to make excuses for doing absolutely nothing with my day/time. I wish I could just lock the door and not have to explain myself.

 

[Mm80]

I don't think it's a side affect. I've been on 20+ medications for mental health issues over the years so it's not something that's been triggered by my current med regime.

I've spent all afternoon in bed. What a waste of a life.

It really is. I'd rather feel utter misery than nothing.

The Ketamine really helped get me out of an incredibly black hole back in January. I'm still taking it because although I'm not as bad as I was in January, I'm afraid if I stop the Ketamine treatment I'll go back to that.

Fucking sucks doesn't it? I keep having to make excuses for doing absolutely nothing with my day/time. I wish I could just lock the door and not have to explain myself.

I wish they prescribed it in the uk. Our mental healthcare system is so rigid and oversimplistic when it comes to mood disorders. Try an ssri. If that doesnt work either up the dose or change it. If that doesnt work try an snri. Oh and you can have SIX free sessions of cbt. Plus they dont distinguish between anxiety and depression and treat them as the same thing.

 

[RedDEE]

Have you tried marijuana?

 

[Emily_Numb]

I wish they prescribed it in the uk. Our mental healthcare system is so rigid and oversimplistic when it comes to mood disorders. Try an ssri. If that doesnt work either up the dose or change it. If that doesnt work try an snri. Oh and you can have SIX free sessions of cbt.

I am in the UK! There is one clinic that offers this. It's a paid for NHS service and you have to be referred by a GP or Psychiatrist. They don't accept everyone for treatment. It's based in Oxford. Google will show you the way!
I've had all sorts of SSRI/SNRI's before. Currently on Escitalopram.

 

[alexit]

yes, it took a very long time but it started with doing things I used to love and not putting pressure on myself whether I was doing them well or whatever. You have things you enjoy. You just need to be reintroduced to them. Old hobbies.

 

[Emily_Numb]

Have you tried marijuana?

I'm 37. Of course I have.

 

[RedDEE]

I'm 37. Of course I have.

I mean like, lately? Does weed help?

 

[Mm80]

I am in the UK! There is one clinic that offers this. It's a paid for NHS service and you have to be referred by a GP or Psychiatrist. They don't accept everyone for treatment. It's based in Oxford. Google will show you the way!
I've had all sorts of SSRI/SNRI's before. Currently on Escitalopram.

Oh right they kept that one quiet lol. Maybe im not assertive enough. Will have a look. Do you find ketamine to be better than ssris ?

 

[Emily_Numb]

I mean like, lately? Does weed help?

I knew what you meant, I was just messing with you. I am getting referred to a medical cannabis clinic in the UK for sleep problems, but it doesn't help me psychologically

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

It's difficult to enjoy things sometimes. Some things you just force yourself to do it because of responsibility not because you want. It sucks. I hope you can find some enjoyment in things you do.

 

[Emily_Numb]

Oh right they kept that one quiet lol. Maybe im not assertive enough. Will have a look. Do you find ketamine to be better than ssris ?

Yeah it's not very well publicised. Reason being it's it gets heavily over subscribed and they don't accept everyone. It's also pretty expensive. I find the Ketamine is way better than SSRI/SNRI's at pulling out out of a pit, but I find the after effects don't last that long for me, maybe 2 weeks. It's very different for each individual though. Some people have much better results.

 

[Mm80]

Yeah it's not very well publicised. Reason being it's it gets heavily over subscribed and they don't accept everyone. It's also pretty expensive. I find the Ketamine is way better than SSRI/SNRI's at pulling out out of a pit, but I find the after effects don't last that long for me, maybe 2 weeks. It's very different for each individual though. Some people have much better results.

Thanks for the info much appreciated.
Regarding the anhedonia, what are your concentration levels like generally?
I recently come off ssris and started taking strattera for adhd. Seems to help slightly with concentration. I find that when i can concentrate i tend to get more pleasure out of things.

 

[Emily_Numb]

Thanks for the info much appreciated.
Regarding the anhedonia, what are your concentration levels like generally?
I recently come off ssris and started taking strattera for adhd. Seems to help slightly with concentration. I find that when i can concentrate i tend to get more pleasure out of things.

I need to first be able to give a shit in order to concentrate. It's a vicious circle tbh.

 

[mathieu]

I wish I could offer advice, but I'm in the same boat.