finish.me
I need you to feel this
- Jul 14, 2021
- 142
i feel like theres a plethora of reasons for me to die suffering CSA and ccontinued abuse up to this day and drug abuse has definitely left me brain damaged beyond repair, my life is nothing. im confined to my room and have been since i was a child. everything is compromised and i am literally beyond repair and it makes me borderline homicidal knowing this. that i have 0 agency. that im completely defined by stupid bullshit. it makes me want to kill my parents daily not a single fucking day has gone by where i haven't felt like going downstairs and strangling them to death. you fucking bring me here and then fuck up your only fucking job and then go and blame me for your own disgusting impulsivity . then you fucking say im abusing YOU for finally having the balls to tell you to fuck off earlier this year. That after all this time IM The fucking abusive one for BARELY retailiating for the very first fucking time in my life. I don't owe you a fucking thing. I should treat you like the trash and shit you are but i dont because i need a place to stay for right now. thats literally the nly reason im nice to you right now. i cant stand being in the same room as you and you act like you dont know why. youre disgusting you refuse to achknwoledge anything youve ever fucking done to me and you refuse to be a fucking man and own up to your fucking shittiness. I want to fucking stomp on your face till youre dead. touching me and beating on me and fucking touching me just FUCKING TOUCHING ME like you have any right and you fucking claim you cant remember ever behaving like that ONCE in my life??? you literally must be trying to convince yourself of that shit so you can die without any guilt. my dad is a fucking repulsive monkey. my mom is retarded. i want to fucking hurt them so bad but at the same time i feel so intensely horrible and caring towards them. i dont want them to get hurt i literally cant stand the thought of thinking of them old and alone and hurt but i cant fucking forgive anything thyve done i can't forgive it i want t die i want to die i want to die i want to die why is it so complicated why do i even care about the same people who have always hurt me
