W
wanttodie12345
Member
- Jul 27, 2024
- 88
Didn't sleep well, woke up sweaty and in pain, couldn't get comfortable. I'm disabled. I'll never work again. The family I thought I built has left me because of my struggles with illness, my origin family is also disabled. I'm the only one that wants to ctb and I have no privacy or access to means.
At this point an unsuccessful attempt that leaves me more disabled might not be a bad thing. Maybe I wouldn't have to spend my days thinking about if I ate the right foods or drank enough water or did the right therapy to keep this meat suit barely functioning. Maybe I'll just check myself in to the psych ward and continually request to be sedated. If they don't comply I'll just bang my head against the wall or hit myself until they do. If I'm that determined to hate myself maybe they'll finally just accidently od me. One can dream, right?
At this point an unsuccessful attempt that leaves me more disabled might not be a bad thing. Maybe I wouldn't have to spend my days thinking about if I ate the right foods or drank enough water or did the right therapy to keep this meat suit barely functioning. Maybe I'll just check myself in to the psych ward and continually request to be sedated. If they don't comply I'll just bang my head against the wall or hit myself until they do. If I'm that determined to hate myself maybe they'll finally just accidently od me. One can dream, right?