angry all the time

[39hatsune]

frequently (right now) i get so upset that im really angry and just wanna cut off like everyone i know, OR makes me wanna reach out to people i should not be reaching out to..

im just so tired of constantly feeling different all the time. even when im happy, i know in the back of my head its not long before im laying in my bed for weeks again, not long before i stop eating and not long before i start cutting again

its more annoying than anything, why cant i just be happy?

 

[sanctionedusage]

i just bit the bullet and did all of the above. the up and down is so much worse than just down 24/7. im conserving energy that way lolol

 

[39hatsune]

i just bit the bullet and did all of the above. the up and down is so much worse than just down 24/7. im conserving energy that way lolol

hoping it gets better for you
its really tiring, have no idea what im doing

 

[CatLvr]

Oh man ... I feel y'alls posts in my soul. I have no idea how to manage this shit sometimes either. Thankfully I live alone now so I can kinda hide out when I don't feel like dealing with anyone else. My pets keep me from bed-rotting -- and honestly, they are as close to "human interaction" as I care to get. Even the people I enjoy visiting with wear me plumb out. I have so much to be grateful for and yet I am just one really bad day away from eating a bullet. I have NO idea what is wrong with my damned brain.

 

[39hatsune]

Oh man ... I feel y'alls posts in my soul. I have no idea how to manage this shit sometimes either. Thankfully I live alone now so I can kinda hide out when I don't feel like dealing with anyone else. My pets keep me from bed-rotting -- and honestly, they are as close to "human interaction" as I care to get. Even the people I enjoy visiting with wear me plumb out. I have so much to be grateful for and yet I am just one really bad day away from eating a bullet. I have NO idea what is wrong with my damned brain.

very excited for the day i can move out, i wont have to talk to anyone when i dont want to lol

i hope you'll feel better !

 

[CatLvr]

very excited for the day i can move out, i wont have to talk to anyone when i dont want to lol

i hope you'll feel better !

Thank you. I hope that happens for you soon!! I mean I do miss my husband sometimes (he passed unexpectly last year and I'm more than a little jealous ) but man is the solitude lovely. I can go days at a time and not turn or the tv or radio or touch the computer or my phone. I don't know how it works for anyone else but sometimes the silence (except for the typical city noises) is absolute heaven -- my brain will finally just STOP and listen to the quiet and it is HEAVENLY. Kinda like meditating but without having to work at it -- I know that sounds so strange. Lol But when I "try" to "clear my mind" my ADHD goes into overdrive and I suddenly start playing thru every mistake I have made in my life -- and at almost 70 there have been a lot ... A LOT!!! of those!

Hope you can find that same kind of quiet. When my old man was still alive I used to walk around the lake with the dogs every other evening. It was 6 miles from the house and back, but it was very much worth it.

 

[Zura]

kinda relatable sometimes i get mad at the stupidest and smallest stuff and sometimes i feel indifferent towards stuff i should be maybe getting mad/sad at
maybe try meditating hopefully it can help

 

[39hatsune]

Thank you. I hope that happens for you soon!! I mean I do miss my husband sometimes (he passed unexpectly last year and I'm more than a little jealous ) but man is the solitude lovely. I can go days at a time and not turn or the tv or radio or touch the computer or my phone. I don't know how it works for anyone else but sometimes the silence (except for the typical city noises) is absolute heaven -- my brain will finally just STOP and listen to the quiet and it is HEAVENLY. Kinda like meditating but without having to work at it -- I know that sounds so strange. Lol But when I "try" to "clear my mind" my ADHD goes into overdrive and I suddenly start playing thru every mistake I have made in my life -- and at almost 70 there have been a lot ... A LOT!!! of those!

Hope you can find that same kind of quiet. When my old man was still alive I used to walk around the lake with the dogs every other evening. It was 6 miles from the house and back, but it was very much worth it.

im so sorry about your loss

personally, the silence is a little intimidating for me. i like it sometimes but often not, especially when i get any sort of notification from my phone or whatever my heart starts to race .. not sure when that started but ive had to turn off all sound and vibrations from it lol

kinda relatable sometimes i get mad at the stupidest and smallest stuff and sometimes i feel indifferent towards stuff i should be maybe getting mad/sad at
maybe try meditating hopefully it can help

exactly this!! i feel the same way

i havent tried meditating, but ill give it a shot, thanks ٩(^‿^)۶

 

[Zura]

i havent tried meditating, but ill give it a shot, thanks ٩(^‿^)۶

do give it a shot i think it kinda improves mental stability if that makes sense

also i cant really hold my meditating sessions for long time when i do try it like just 5-10 minutes(i like to track time when i do meditate) out of which majority of time is just me being distracted by random thoughts so yeah dont get discouraged if you cant really concentrate which happens if you are starting out

 

[39hatsune]

do give it a shot i think it kinda improves mental stability if that makes sense

also i cant really hold my meditating sessions for long time when i do try it like just 5-10 minutes(i like to track time when i do meditate) out of which majority of time is just me being distracted by random thoughts so yeah dont get discouraged if you cant really concentrate which happens if you are starting out

thanks !!