Anger in suicide

[Wreck-it-Riley]

I get some pretty nasty intrusive thoughts, and sometimes i dont know if its just because im angry and suicidal, or if its just my brain fucking with me.

Today i keep going over the idea of taking SN in my vehicle, but leaving it parked in front of my EX's driveway, blocking her in. The vehicle is contested, she thinks i should give it to her because im not driving at the moment (its not registered). But she thinks she is entitled to everything. Would just be a kind of slap to the face, like fine, its yours, have an amazing day. Its the last thing i own worth more than a hundred bucks or so. She took everything else.

 

[Darkhaven]

Yeah, i feel like doing crazy shit before ctb too.
I guess it's my frustration turning into anger coupled with my lifelong "rage spurts".

 

[Sweet emotion]

Oh you're not the only one. Even though I'd never use this method j think if just blowing my brains out in front of people who have been awful to me when I've been sick. I just want to say, do you believe I'm sick now? One thing that I think of often is getting every doctor, family member, and neighbor who has ever wronged me with my physical illness or who has never believed me and chain them up in an abandoned warehouse and just torture the shit out of them for weeks. And say....this is what I feel. Can you last this for over 14 years like I have? No you're not crazy for thinking those things. We all do.

 

[Rachel74]

Love it!

 

[Mr2005]

Damn right I'm angry. Not helping me get surgery was as good as signing my death certificate. The emotional side of me thinks they both deserve to die. But then the rational side says they didn't mean it and if I wanted it that badly I should have done it myself. Why didn't I? There's no excuse in the world good enough. I'll be killing me and me only. Let them live with that