An Unusual Story

[Chronicallyunwell]

Dear Ss community ,

I am sharing my story in the hope of finding some support and help for ending my life. I would never have imagined I would be in this peculiar situation but I have grown very desparate. I know you will understand and not try to persuade me otherwise.

MY STORY (bonus: will probably make you feel better about your own predicament lol)

I am suffering from a chronic urinary tract infection that is antibiotic resistant, I believe this was contracted from hospital due to unrelated issues but this cannot be 100% proven.

I have been under specialist care and recieved several rounds of antibiotics to no avail. I have tried alternative healing, diets, several supplements and spent thousands in the process. I am in pain and feel generally unwell all of the time. I cannot concentrate due to the pain and struggling with work and my relationship (my partner is very patient and supportive but I have become a burden). I am no longer the funny, kind and caring person I used to be. I cannot enjoy any of my hobbies anymore due to feeling like there is a blowtorch in my bladder. Pain killers don't even touch it. I have pleaded with doctors to remove my bladder and urinary tract but the infection would travel to my kidneys. In other words, there is no earthly solution or 'way out'.

My situation is most unusual, much like illnesses such as long covid and chronic lyme disease. This adds to my feelings of entrapment and isolation. I belong to a support group which seems absolutely hopeless because nobody is getting better. Every second of the day I feel on the verge of a heart attack because of the severe stress I'm under, how unwell I feel and how I'm expected to carry on as normal.

In short, I have no quality of life, have a chronic painful illness and though I love my partner desperately, I am absolutely DESPERATE to end this.

I recently spoke to Dignitas and Pegasos and both essentially said there is no way they could help me. I don't want counselling to help me 'accept' this way of existence. I realise I'm left with the only option to end things myself.

Since I am not very technically minded and imagine any chemical attempts to end my life would be complicated and botched (I am actually quite a stupid and impractical person). My options living in the UK are only jumping from a great height or drowning myself. The locations I have in mind are quite far away from my home so I am essentially a bit trapped because my partner would alert police if I went missing for 5 hours. I am so scared of botching this that is has become paralysing. I wish I could access a gun but not possible in the UK.

I know nobody can truly 'advise' but UK folks, what are your ideas? If not, thank you so much for reading.

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds so horrible, it's truly so immensley cruel how people suffer so unbearably in this existence, I personally really just wish for the option of a straightforward way to die in peace, it's so devastating to me how there isn't the option to be euthanised even know one can experience such extreme torture. But anyway best wishes, I hope you eventually find what you search for.

 

[brokeandbroken]

Dear Ss community ,

I am sharing my story in the hope of finding some support and help for ending my life. I would never have imagined I would be in this peculiar situation but I have grown very desparate. I know you will understand and not try to persuade me otherwise.

MY STORY (bonus: will probably make you feel better about your own predicament lol)

I am suffering from a chronic urinary tract infection that is antibiotic resistant, I believe this was contracted from hospital due to unrelated issues but this cannot be 100% proven.

I have been under specialist care and recieved several rounds of antibiotics to no avail. I have tried alternative healing, diets, several supplements and spent thousands in the process. I am in pain and feel generally unwell all of the time. I cannot concentrate due to the pain and struggling with work and my relationship (my partner is very patient and supportive but I have become a burden). I am no longer the funny, kind and caring person I used to be. I cannot enjoy any of my hobbies anymore due to feeling like there is a blowtorch in my bladder. Pain killers don't even touch it. I have pleaded with doctors to remove my bladder and urinary tract but the infection would travel to my kidneys. In other words, there is no earthly solution or 'way out'.

My situation is most unusual, much like illnesses such as long covid and chronic lyme disease. This adds to my feelings of entrapment and isolation. I belong to a support group which seems absolutely hopeless because nobody is getting better. Every second of the day I feel on the verge of a heart attack because of the severe stress I'm under, how unwell I feel and how I'm expected to carry on as normal.

In short, I have no quality of life, have a chronic painful illness and though I love my partner desperately, I am absolutely DESPERATE to end this.

I recently spoke to Dignitas and Pegasos and both essentially said there is no way they could help me. I don't want counselling to help me 'accept' this way of existence. I realise I'm left with the only option to end things myself.

Since I am not very technically minded and imagine any chemical attempts to end my life would be complicated and botched (I am actually quite a stupid and impractical person). My options living in the UK are only jumping from a great height or drowning myself. The locations I have in mind are quite far away from my home so I am essentially a bit trapped because my partner would alert police if I went missing for 5 hours. I am so scared of botching this that is has become paralysing. I wish I could access a gun but not possible in the UK.

I know nobody can truly 'advise' but UK folks, what are your ideas? If not, thank you so much for reading.

Hopefully I can help some I was in medical school and did take micro. Though all I can do is guide and im not a doctor. You said you contracted it in hospital correct? Did you have a catheter? Surgery? Etc...? Why do you think that??

Utis can be different bacteria. Different bacteria require different treatments. And a lot are resistant to an antibiotic. But unlikely to all. Have you tried ceftriaxone for instance? Or long term low dose abx?

 

[Chronicallyunwell]

That sounds so horrible, it's truly so immensley cruel how people suffer so unbearably in this existence, I personally really just wish for the option of a straightforward way to die in peace, it's so devastating to me how there isn't the option to be euthanised even know one can experience such extreme torture. But anyway best wishes, I hope you eventually find what you search for.

Me too, all I want is a peaceful way out. Believe me, I would fight if there was a medical solution but there isn't.

My biggest fear is a botched suicide, but I know I have to try or will continue to be stuck here like this.

My advice if you don't have any physical health problems is to please go and live your life to the max for me.

Hopefully I can help some I was in medical school and did take micro. Though all I can do is guide and im not a doctor. You said you contracted it in hospital correct? Did you have a catheter? Surgery? Etc...? Why do you think that??

Utis can be different bacteria. Different bacteria require different treatments. And a lot are resistant to an antibiotic. But unlikely to all. Have you tried ceftriaxone for instance? Or long term low dose abx?

Hi thank you for your help. My problems started after leaving hospital where I had a cannula in my arm. I have tried so many antibiotics, the clinic I went to was in Harley street, London. They treat with long term high dose antibiotics. The bacteria identified is enteroccocus species. I have also taken hiprex which is like a disinfectant. Im so tired of suffering, I now still have the chronic uti but numerous adverse side effects from longterm antibiotics.

 

[GoatHerder]

I've been researching methods for a while, and the only practical way that won't leave you worse if something goes wrong is SN.

 

[Arahant]

You owe yourself to try some kambo medicine, targeted bacteriophages and perhaps bioidentical hormones for the immunity enhancing effects (progesterone in particular is gangbusters for infections).

Thing with infections from hospitals is, they have strong evolutionary pressure on them, so they evolve to resist most antibiotics.
Something like kambo is not something they would have been exposed to - and PlanetKambo is right there in the UK ready to help you.
As crazy as kambo can sound, it is very promising for exotic infections and chronic pain.

Now targeted bacteriophages is something we don't have much of in the west. They are common in eastern europe, but never made it over here to us.
Unless people in hospitals are on the verge of death they are sometimes used as a hail mary last ditch attempt.
I don't know where to source them, but I know a guy on youtube named Mike Fave managed to contact a pharmacy in Russia, and obtain some.

I think I read somewhere, that chronic UTI's also can be a psychosomatic reaction to sexual trauma, and thus also be remedied by resolving the root cause if it's trauma. It sounds "out there" until you read something like The Body Keeps the Score or When the Body says No by Drs. Bessel van der Kolk and Gabor Mate.

If in UK progesterone could be obtained from https://www.balancedbodymind.com/shop/p/progesterone.

Let's be real you want pain relief, not death. Here are two things that you can try within the week if funds and time allow, and perhaps have some immediate relief. Beats jumping from a skyscraper if you ask me.
That's how I stay sane/alive anyway.
Make a long ass list of potential cures and work through them, until CTB is left at the end.

Take good care and ask any questions if I may clarify.
@Chronicallyunwell

 

[Chronicallyunwell]

I've been researching methods for a while, and the only practical way that won't leave you worse if something goes wrong is SN.

How do I go about finding SN in the UK is another matter.
I am considering jump from 2 locations in the UK.

You owe yourself to try some kambo medicine, targeted bacteriophages and perhaps bioidentical hormones for the immunity enhancing effects (progesterone in particular is gangbusters for infections).

Thing with infections from hospitals is, they have strong evolutionary pressure on them, so they evolve to resist most antibiotics.
Something like kambo is not something they would have been exposed to - and PlanetKambo is right there in the UK ready to help you.
As crazy as kambo can sound, it is very promising for exotic infections and chronic pain.

Now targeted bacteriophages is something we don't have much of in the west. They are common in eastern europe, but never made it over here to us.
Unless people in hospitals are on the verge of death they are sometimes used as a hail mary last ditch attempt.
I don't know where to source them, but I know a guy on youtube named Mike Fave managed to contact a pharmacy in Russia, and obtain some.

I think I read somewhere, that chronic UTI's also can be a psychosomatic reaction to sexual trauma, and thus also be remedied by resolving the root cause if it's trauma. It sounds "out there" until you read something like The Body Keeps the Score or When the Body says No by Drs. Bessel van der Kolk and Gabor Mate.

If in UK progesterone could be obtained from https://www.balancedbodymind.com/shop/p/progesterone.

Let's be real you want pain relief, not death. Here are two things that you can try within the week if funds and time allow, and perhaps have some immediate relief. Beats jumping from a skyscraper if you ask me.
That's how I stay sane/alive anyway.
Make a long ass list of potential cures and work through them, until CTB is left at the end.

Take good care and ask any questions if I may clarify.
@Chronicallyunwell

Thank you, I will look into it when less exhausted. I'm tired of the fight and medically traumatised.

 

[JaegerCA]

How do I go about finding SN in the UK is another matter.
I am considering jump from 2 locations in the UK.

If you're thinking about a bridge, I was researching same thing, a lotta people just are paralyzed and drown

 

[Chronicallyunwell]

If you're thinking about a bridge, I was researching same thing, a lotta people just are paralyzed and drown

Not bridges, cliffs...
I was thinking cold, dark wintery day when water is freezing cold too. Yes my fear is being paralysed and surviving. My other fear is living with this illness until the point it mentally and physically cripples me.

 

[Arahant]

@Chronicallyunwell Hah, we have that same trauma and tiredness.

While I remember: Prolonged dry fasting can sometimes kill the most obscene of infections.
You will never see "evidence" for it, but fasting coaches like Cole Robinson and Tallis Barker have mentioned that their experience with clients is that it can be life saving for infections.
We talking foot infection that was antibiotic resistant and on the verge of needing amputation that vanished in 5 days of hardcore dry fasting.
(dry fasting = no water or food at all).

Crazy? Sure. Hard? For most everyone, yes. But you are on the verge of dying, and this could literally save your life.
Way I see it, you have little to lose by trying it.

 

[Chronicallyunwell]

@Chronicallyunwell Hah, we have that same trauma and tiredness.

While I remember: Prolonged dry fasting can sometimes kill the most obscene of infections.
You will never see "evidence" for it, but fasting coaches like Cole Robinson and Tallis Barker have mentioned that their experience with clients is that it can be life saving for infections.
We talking foot infection that was antibiotic resistant and on the verge of needing amputation that vanished in 5 days of hardcore dry fasting.
(dry fasting = no water or food at all).

Crazy? Sure. Hard? For most everyone, yes. But you are on the verge of dying, and this could literally save your life.
Way I see it, you have little to lose by trying it.

That sounds intense, either this infection dies or i die. We cannot coexist. Simply cannot.

 

[Arahant]

@Chronicallyunwell
Well, maybe this is dark rhetoric, but the soviet protocols based on their research is said to have done a maximum of 8 days dry fasting because people begin ceasing to breathe around day 9 in most cases.
The marathon zen monks also limit their insane dry fasting ritual to 8 days.
The world record of dry fasting is 18 days, held by some unfortunate skinny kid who got locked in prison and forgotten about.

Sweet relief (one way or another) is potentially only 8 days away, how about that?

I think what I am trying to say is punish that infection like Frank Castle.

 

[Chronicallyunwell]

@Chronicallyunwell
Well, maybe this is dark rhetoric, but the soviet protocols based on their research is said to have done a maximum of 8 days dry fasting because people begin ceasing to breathe around day 9 in most cases.
The marathon zen monks also limit their insane dry fasting ritual to 8 days.
The world record of dry fasting is 18 days, held by some unfortunate skinny kid who got locked in prison and forgotten about.

Sweet relief (one way or another) is potentially only 8 days away, how about that?

I think what I am trying to say is punish that infection like Frank Castle.

Haha. God I want more than anything ro be free one way or another

 

[Chronicallyunwell]

Haha. God I want more than anything ro be free one way or another

Having said that i'd probably just go into a seizure and end brain damaged.

What do you think about jumping from height like beachy head cliffs or cliffs of moher? These are my only options

Having said that i'd probably just go into a seizure and end brain damaged.

What do you think about jumping from height like beachy head cliffs or cliffs of moher? These are my only options

Or hanging/drowning

 

[Arahant]

I think the risk of paralysis from either makes dry fasting the thing to try first. Wont give you a seizure or brain damage either.

 

[Chronicallyunwell]

I think the risk of paralysis from either makes dry fasting the thing to try first. Wont give you a seizure or brain damage either.

Do you think jumping from cliffs has high chance of paralysis?
Or drowning with bricks in a rucksack to weigh me down?
I really dont think I have the willpower to starve and im in so much pain with my illness.
Xx

 

[Chronicallyunwell]

I've been researching methods for a while, and the only practical way that won't leave you worse if something goes wrong is SN.

Gosh i have no way of getting SN

Gosh i have no way of getting SN

My method has to be 99.9% certain to succeed. Im notoriously unlucky and don't want to survive.

Gosh i have no way of getting SN

My method has to be 99.9% certain to succeed. Im notoriously unlucky and don't want to survive.