Venting An attempt and apparently I sell nudes

[rotten]

I attempted today. Everything just got to me and I was in that perfect mindset for it. My mom had been screaming at me all day and then my dad did the same when he came home. Just over the stupidest shit. At one point my mom mentioned something about me selling nudes for money.They trapped me in my mom's room for a bit and when I tried to leave my dad pushed me back in really hard. I was surprised because he usually doesn't physical. He usually just talks shit and nothing more. My mom on the other hand will terrorize you for days and attack you with anything that could be used as a weapon.

So that was new...anyways, after they left to go buy food I grabbed an extension cord and attempted a partial hanging. I just said "fuck it I just want it to end" over and over in my head. It was spontaneous and I'm lucky I'm not a vegatable. Obviously, I failed and created some new holes in my wall instead. I just can't shake off the feeling of stupidity though.

After we ate my parents wanted to have a discussion with me. They started praising me about my artwork and saying I should try to sell prints. I was really confused about the sudden support since my mom usually says art is useless. I knew something was up. After a while longer of them talking about this my mom ends the conversation with "Yep so you won't have to spread your cheeks for money." I think she and my dad actually believe I sell nudes and that's how I make money.

The truth is...I've been selling some of my artwork for a while now. It's not much but it's something. I just don't tell them about it because they shit on everything I love. I keep a lot of my life a secret from them...it's just easier that way.

 

[meetapple]

I am sorry that you felt the need to hang yourself. I hope your artwork could create a better relationship with your parents.

 

[blueclover_.]

I'm so sorry that you have to go through that. Can you possibly move out of their house, away from their negative existence? Please place your happiness first, do what makes you feel good. Artsy people are so cool and talented. Whatever path you choose, i hope you find peace.

 

[rotten]

I'm so sorry that you have to go through that. Can you possibly move out of their house, away from their negative existence? Please place your happiness first, do what makes you feel good. Artsy people are so cool and talented. Whatever path you choose, i hope you find peace.

Unfortunately I can't move out at the moment...it sucks :/

 

[Lucas70]

Try to help your parents with housework.Become their obidient servant.Dont do anything that make they hate you.i know its easier said than done.

 

[Painless_end]

Unfortunately I can't move out at the moment...it sucks :/

How old are you ? Also, why can't you tell them that you have never and don't intend to sell nudes for money ?

I hope you find peace and freedom. I am sorry you had to go through this, it sounds horrible.

 

[blueclover_.]

Try to help your parents with housework.Become their obidient servant.Dont do anything that make they hate you.i know its easier said than done.

That sounds humiliating, becoming your parents servant. Lmao i'd rather die.

 

[Rogue Proxy]

That sounds humiliating, becoming your parents servant. Lmao i'd rather die.

All breeders expect and demand their homemade biological toys to serve their every whim. When you are born human, the servitude of your own species gets thrusted onto you and defines your life purpose. This applies particularly to humans within your social groups (e.g. family, educational facility, workplace, community, religion, country, ect.) and wield significant power and control over you (e.g. "parents", teachers/professors, employers, law enforcement, world leaders, ect.). This is why utility greatly determines every individual's worth, value, and treatment from society.

@rottenmind I strongly advise you to watch your back around those two. Given their history of verbal and psychological abuse, how their aggression escalated during their recent attack, and their sudden out-of-character niceness, their affable behavior reeks like a fish processing plant.

 

[endme]

i agree with the guy before me but i also agree that sometimes its not bad to act all cool, like doing housework n shit.
you still can hate them but it might not be the smartest way to show them on a daily basis

 

[Rogue Proxy]

i agree with the guy before me but i also agree that sometimes its not bad to act all cool, like doing housework n shit.
you still can hate them but it might not be the smartest way to show them on a daily basis

Unfortunately, doing housework and errands for them and putting on an obedient, "loving" facade won't guarantee positive treatment. In fact, that could very much reward and encourage their toxic, abusive behavior.

I stand by my advice of not getting lulled into a false sense of security around them. I would also suggest avoiding interactions with them as much as possible. If you're able to be independent from them, going no contract would do wonders your well-being. If you can't fully cut them out of your life, then minimizing contact as much as possible could be the next best thing.

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds like an horrible situation you are in, no one should be treated like that. Some people are just so cruel. I'm sorry you have to go through this. Whatever happens, I wish you the best.

 

[rotten]

How old are you ? Also, why can't you tell them that you have never and don't intend to sell nudes for money ?

I hope you find peace and freedom. I am sorry you had to go through this, it sounds horrible.

I've tried telling them but I don't think they believe me. It's frustrating since my behavior doesn't even imply that. I'm really shy and I don't even like taking normal photos.

 

[BeautifulMosaics]

I've tried telling them but I don't think they believe me. It's frustrating since my behavior doesn't even imply that. I'm really shy and I don't even like taking normal photos.

But whatever gave them that idea then?

 

[eternalmelancholy]

That is so fucked up. Life is already hard enough without people trying to tear you down all the time. Having shitty parents is the final nail on your coffin before life even begins. You are at such a disadvantage from your peers it is nearly impossible to catch up.

I know it is not always feasible to move out but I think this is something you should explore before ctb. Being stuck with your abusers while they chip away at your will to live day by day is the true definition of hell.

 

[rotten]

But whatever gave them that idea then?

At this point I'm convinced my mom is delusional and my dad just goes along with whatever she says.