A
archipelago
Student
- Jun 27, 2021
- 148
I'm pissed.
I'm pissed that I'm scared, I'm pissed that I will effectively be forcing myself to face a new trauma head on that has a set date, and I'm so exhausted
Dealing with too many disadvantages and health issues and I felt very ready to go, had a solid plan for SN
But I'm still scared it won't work, that it will be a drawn out process that I won't be able to endure the pain so Id call for help
I'm so fucking angry at myself. I set everything up, even tested the antiemetic, wrote out letters, had plans to mail things out to a friend… I'm just so fed up
And when I delayed twice before, I only regretted it because more shit happened
I wish I would just die by accident
I'm pissed that I'm scared, I'm pissed that I will effectively be forcing myself to face a new trauma head on that has a set date, and I'm so exhausted
Dealing with too many disadvantages and health issues and I felt very ready to go, had a solid plan for SN
But I'm still scared it won't work, that it will be a drawn out process that I won't be able to endure the pain so Id call for help
I'm so fucking angry at myself. I set everything up, even tested the antiemetic, wrote out letters, had plans to mail things out to a friend… I'm just so fed up
And when I delayed twice before, I only regretted it because more shit happened
I wish I would just die by accident