Venting Am I weak for not being able to do it?

[Kaibun6001]

Hello,
This is my first thread so please if I break any rules let me know.
I really want to off myself right now with a sharp blade I have, but in June I cut myself to the fat layer for the first time and I'm still super hesitant because that made me have to see my mum because I get sick easily from blood and fatty tissue, and I panicked. Am I weak for this? I want to die so badly, but my stomach makes me almost throw up if I bring the blade to my skin. Is there an easier way maybe?
Please help. I'm so tired of this
Thank you for your time.

 

[Lupgevif]

Absolutely not. First and foremost, humans are programmed biologically to avoid death. Secondly, you also seem to have an aversion to blood, and the method you chose involves lots of it. I just would recommend not attempting to ctb by cutting. It is not a reliable method, and very painful (which you know already). You would need to cut at very specific parts (which is super hard), and wait a very, very long time to bleed out to death. Have you browsed this forum before? I see you account is months old. There are other methods to be studied and considered. I genuinely think cutting is not a good method.

 

[the_path_of_sorrows]

Admitting your own weaknesses indicates that you already are a strong person that has been through a lot. Please go through the megathreads, you'll definitely find something worth the time reading.

 

[Kaibun6001]

Absolutely not. First and foremost, humans are programmed biologically to avoid death. Secondly, you also seem to have an aversion to blood, and the method you chose involves lots of it. I just would recommend not attempting to ctb by cutting. It is not a reliable method, and very painful (which you know already). You would need to cut at very specific parts (which is super hard), and wait a very, very long time to bleed out to death. Have you browsed this forum before? I see you account is months old. There are other methods to be studied and considered. I genuinely think cutting is not a good method.

Yeah I started looking after a video I watched. It was really nice to see this topic being spoken so freely, but after June I was very averse, especially because I was detained once before and was worried they'd get me again. Thank you for the recommendation, I'll look around. I was looking into Nitrogen potentially but it seems expensive. I can't wait to be able to buy a gun, maybe that's easier?

Admitting your own weaknesses indicates that you already are a strong person that has been through a lot. Please go through the megathreads, you'll definitely find something worth the time reading.

That means a lot to me, thank you. I'll look through those

 

[Lupgevif]

A gun can be easier, yes, but it still has downsides (statistically, though, it is the most efficient method). My intention is not to put fear into you, but no method is easy, really. Just study well and try your best to not inflict further unnecessary suffering on yourself.

 

[FuneralCry]

To me that method doesn't really sound reliable anyway, and in general suicide really is so unnecessarily difficult to me so I don't really think that one is weak if they struggle to go through with it. As humans we are all programmed to survive after all, I wish that it's more straightforward to die.