Am i the problem, or is it the world?

[wheretfami]

I get the vibe all the time that I'm not wanted, in conversation, situations, events-- despite being positive and sweet and forcing myself to be social despite the deep anxiety I get from being around them. People start talking to me and clearly lose interest within a minute, like why did you talk to me to begin with? But that wouldn't really change anything, they'd just not say hi at all and I'd still be depressed. I've always thought something was wrong with me and I have so much life experience to prove it. Apparently I can't even see whatever the problem is. Just another thing that there's no point in trying for anymore. I've tried most of my life and I just don't belong among anyone. There are people who love me but I know I embarrass them. Can't be myself in this life, don't wanna exist at all.

 

[k1w1]

Do you ever consider that maybe you live in a place that doesnt suit you? It is a big world, many great cities, many awesome people.

 

[ClaudeCTTE]

You're not to blame for anything. It's the people here who are the problem.

Since adolescence, teenagers tend to make social relationships complex because they practically seek people who fit into their ideas.

I went through this during my time in high school. Some classmates would say that I was intelligent and interesting, yet they always ignored me, just like you.

It's very difficult to define any precise reason why someone might ignore you. Sometimes it's because they think you're not interested in them, other times it's because they're not thinking about you, and others may not be so social and hesitate to talk to you again. We don't know what's going on in other people's minds, but that's not a reason for people to make friendships so complicated.

How is it that in childhood, you could make friends simply by playing with them?, and now in adolescence, it seems like everyone becomes selective, wanting you to be someone fun, social, attractive, and more nonsense.

In adulthood, sometimes it's even worse. Some people only make friends to gain social influence, it's utterly ridiculous.

Anyway, I think no one in this world deserves to suffer because of such selective people...

 

[wheretfami]

Do you ever consider that maybe you live in a place that doesnt suit you? It is a big world, many great cities, many awesome people.

You have a point, something I've thought about before. I want to get out of America as fast as possible, it's getting too dangerous here.

 

[FuneralCry]

It sounds like other people are the problem in my opinion, I'm not surprised that those people are acting in such a way, I just don't believe they can be relied on.

 

[Misery99]

You have a point, something I've thought about before. I want to get out of America as fast as possible, it's getting too dangerous here.

Where would you like to go out of America?

 

[carac]

To be honest with you it could be a bit of both. Other people can be very self serving and inconsiderate, if there is nothing in it for them they don't want to know. You sound like a very conscientious person and quite considerate yourself, this could alter your perception. So you feel like you are not wanted and say the wrong thing all the time when in reality it's no big deal.

 

[Misery99]

I get the vibe all the time that I'm not wanted, in conversation, situations, events-- despite being positive and sweet and forcing myself to be social despite the deep anxiety I get from being around them. People start talking to me and clearly lose interest within a minute, like why did you talk to me to begin with? But that wouldn't really change anything, they'd just not say hi at all and I'd still be depressed. I've always thought something was wrong with me and I have so much life experience to prove it. Apparently I can't even see whatever the problem is. Just another thing that there's no point in trying for anymore. I've tried most of my life and I just don't belong among anyone. There are people who love me but I know I embarrass them. Can't be myself in this life, don't wanna exist at all.

I feel the same way and I live in a way worse shitty third world country...There's no support system for people with mental health problems and people in general are rude and unfriendly no matter how nice I am to them.I thought that western countries are at least better when compared to here when considering politeness of people and less corruption by the government.Here's the economic problems are so major and some people don't even have money to get food or medicine. It's all a big mess here.

 

[wheretfami]

To be honest with you it could be a bit of both. Other people can be very self serving and inconsiderate, if there is nothing in it for them they don't want to know. You sound like a very conscientious person and quite considerate yourself, this could alter your perception. So you feel like you are not wanted and say the wrong thing all the time when in reality it's no big deal.

Where would you like to go out of America?

Probably Scotland, Ireland, or England.

 

[sserafim]

I get the vibe all the time that I'm not wanted, in conversation, situations, events-- despite being positive and sweet and forcing myself to be social despite the deep anxiety I get from being around them. People start talking to me and clearly lose interest within a minute, like why did you talk to me to begin with? But that wouldn't really change anything, they'd just not say hi at all and I'd still be depressed. I've always thought something was wrong with me and I have so much life experience to prove it. Apparently I can't even see whatever the problem is. Just another thing that there's no point in trying for anymore. I've tried most of my life and I just don't belong among anyone. There are people who love me but I know I embarrass them. Can't be myself in this life, don't wanna exist at all.

Have you looked into autism/Asperger's or ADHD?

 

[ClownWorld2023]

The world is the problem.
(I hadn't even read your full post when I wrote this, but will read it now anyways.)

 

[wheretfami]

I feel the same way and I live in a way worse shitty third world country...There's no support system for people with mental health problems and people in general are rude and unfriendly no matter how nice I am to them.I thought that western countries are at least better when compared to here when considering politeness of people and less corruption by the government.Here's the economic problems are so major and some people don't even have money to get food or medicine. It's all a big mess here.

You're not to blame for anything. It's the people here who are the problem.

Since adolescence, teenagers tend to make social relationships complex because they practically seek people who fit into their ideas.

I went through this during my time in high school. Some classmates would say that I was intelligent and interesting, yet they always ignored me, just like you.

It's very difficult to define any precise reason why someone might ignore you. Sometimes it's because they think you're not interested in them, other times it's because they're not thinking about you, and others may not be so social and hesitate to talk to you again. We don't know what's going on in other people's minds, but that's not a reason for people to make friendships so complicated.

How is it that in childhood, you could make friends simply by playing with them?, and now in adolescence, it seems like everyone becomes selective, wanting you to be someone fun, social, attractive, and more nonsense.

In adulthood, sometimes it's even worse. Some people only make friends to gain social influence, it's utterly ridiculous.

Anyway, I think no one in this world deserves to suffer because of such selective people...

You seem wise, that's some deep insight I've never considered before and your response helps a LOT.
So would you say it's basically a matter of patience and understanding with others that they might have something going on, and also learning to discern (as well as possible) who has malicious intent and who doesn't? (Or maybe kicking them out of my life as soon as I realize their intent)

The world is the problem.
(I hadn't even read your full post when I wrote this, but will read it now anyways.)

Lol all good, I like your humor. Fkn same.

Have you looked into autism/Asperger's or ADHD?

Definitely have ADHD. I've wondered before if I might have autism so I am going to check. Probably related, huh?