Am i the only one who feels like I have a bunch of undiagnosed issues?

[MiMif]

Like honestly i really feel like I do...my family has never believed in therapy or mental illness or anything like that...when i approached my mother when i was in highschool about the possibility of my having ocd or adhd because i was literally experiencing almost every symptom she just told me "your not like that your my daughter theirs nothing wrong with your head" and left it at that.

But honestly I feel crazy all of the time and i barely function. I meet the requirements of bpd, bipolar disorder, adhd, depression, and possibly ocd......but not so sure about ocd because i just expereinced it when i was younger but the symptoms just went away. I also get constant nosebleeds like multiple times a day...ive always been prone to nosebleeds since i was a kid but now its gotten much worst its constant...i even have them in my sleep...in class (im in college) when im washing my face...like legit all the time all day nonstop.

Im hopping of the walls all the time and then sometimes i act like a jerk to people who care about me out of nowhere. One second im happy then the next im questioning why the hell im happy when i know everyhting is artificial. I want to kill myself everyday...and then when soemthing happens that makes me not want to kill myself. (I have like delusions and im super paranoid i keep seeing a man in a hoodie right behind me but then turn around and hes not there....i feel like someones gonna kill me every second and i keep hearing things) whenever somethin happens that makes me not want to kill myself when i go outside i fear soemones gonna kill me which makes me scared and i think

"wow i wanted to kill myself all this time and the seond i dont i want to die i die how ironic"....


but then i think i deserve to die like that anyway because ive been suicidal all these years and dont deserve to just leave the person i was behind.


honestly to sum up my life


what a useless existence....

not sure i explained my thoughts correctly but does anyone feel the same.

I should probably see a therapist but then i feel like i dont deserve to get better so i dont want to see one.

 

[loopdaloop]

if a diagnosis would be beneficial for you then you should definitely see a therapist. your family is probably of the mindset that lables/diagnosis do more harm than good, but honestly it's very individual and some people do feel better when they find a lable that describes their lived experiences

 

[drearybreadd]

To answer title question- yes I believe I may have bipolar but am undiagnosed and *deathly* afraid of telling anyone. I would strongly recommend for you to see a therapist and get on meds if possible so your brain actually starts functioning properly and thinking clearly. Then you can decide if you actually want to ctb or not. It doesn't mean you're leaving behind the person you were. Quite the opposite, you can find the right path in your life without being limited by your paranoia and mood swings, those aren't a part of you, they are a part of a treatable condition. This sounds a lot like ptsd because of the variety of symptoms. Of course the choice is yours in the end and I hope you decide what is best for yourself. (btw you should probably see someone about the nosebleeds unless you enjoy having them) I get the thing about deserving to get better. This is the kind of thing you can only decide for yourself. If you truly want to get better, you should change your world view. You are only human, you don't deserve or not deserve anything, you are justified to do literally anything that you want and need to bring you closer to whatever your end goal is. Give yourself a chance, if it works it works, if it doesn't, there's always a way out ;)

 

[sancsuinet]

i just got my undiagnosed issues diagnosed and yeah, generally i think if you think somethings wrong with you and how your feeling, there probably is

 

[user56765567]

I know I still have some undiagnosed issues I mean I get doctors that say it's a high chance that I have something and getting certain testing done is usually what they recommend anyway to be 100% sure but getting certain certified testing done can not only be expensive but you will be on a waitlist for a very long time at least in my experience. Like one of the verified testing sites in my area has a waitlist that is like a few years long and its the only one around smh.

 

[tiger b]

More than likely.