Am I just a coward?

[Ampersand713]

Everyday I keep having thoughts to end it all. My family doesn't care about me. I ran away and when I came back, everything is still normal, like I never left at all. I started cutting myself as a coping mechanism and no one's stopping me. My friends doesn't care and calls it cringe. My teacher's doesn't care and pretends I don't exist. Nobody would care if I leave, yet I'm still cared to go.

Am I just a coward?

Is there a way to die peacefully? I don't wanna feel pain anymore, I want my whole body to be numb, just like my arms.

 

[FuneralCry]

I don't believe that those who find it difficult to die are cowardly as suicide just isn't straightforward especially because as humans we are all programmed to survive even if one truly wants to die and also we exist in a society where suicide is as purposely made as difficult as possible for people. I really wish it's much easier to finally be free from this existence.

 

[bluebus]

That's a lot to have to deal with, I'm really sorry. It sounds like what you need is some support and love. Thankfully this community is great for that, but it's not the same as the people in our lives. First off, you are not a coward at all. It seems like you've been through quite a lot. You're much stronger than you think. And secondly, there are a few methods that can be considered "peaceful" if that's something you'd like to explore. SN, inert gas, co, are all effective and peaceful. I really hope that things can get better for you. If not though, I hope you can find peace somewhere. Best of luck, bb

 

[Ampersand713]

That's a lot to have to deal with, I'm really sorry. It sounds like what you need is some support and love. Thankfully this community is great for that, but it's not the same as the people in our lives. First off, you are not a coward at all. It seems like you've been through quite a lot. You're much stronger than you think. And secondly, there are a few methods that can be considered "peaceful" if that's something you'd like to explore. SN, inert gas, co, are all effective and peaceful. I really hope that things can get better for you. If not though, I hope you can find peace somewhere. Best of luck, bb

Thanks, I appreciate it

I don't believe that those who find it difficult to die are cowardly as suicide just isn't straightforward especially because as humans we are all programmed to survive even if one truly wants to die and also we exist in a society where suicide is as purposely made as difficult as possible for people. I really wish it's much easier to finally be free from this existence.

I guess that's true