Venting Am I being selfish?

[Sweet_Lullaby]

Hey!
I've been a lurker for a while in this forum.
There are so many wonderful people here that unfortunately had bad luck in life. Some have lost loved ones, some have to deal with some kind of crippling desease, some are just alone in this world.
Well, I have neither. I can say I have a good life. Not perfect, but good enough. I'm a 25 years old male, average looking, healthy, steady job, have friends, not a really large family, but have both parents alive, own my own place, which is already paid for...
Still, since I recall, I haven't really felt happy per say. I mean, of course I've had some happy moments, but they were just that. Moments. I feel down most of the time. I don't really have a passion for anything in life. It all just seems so bland. Just thinking these are my prime years makes me dread of whats to come.
I don't know why I'm feeling like this. I'm grateful for what I have, but it feels something is missing. I'm isolating myself from other people by choice. I'm becoming apathic towards others. I can be in a room full of friends and still feel empty and alone, if that makes any sense.
I don't really know what to hope for in life. Working for another 40 years +, pay bills, drag myself through the daily routine over and over until getting old and lose the capacity to take care of myself? Is that it?
I'm sorry if I sound selfish, but I just can't find my purpose here in this world.
And I'm sorry for my English and poor written sentences. Portuguese here.
Cheers fellow SS'ers

 

[Mr2005]

Your english is better than mine and I'm english :) There definitely seems to be an existential crisis in the world. People are lost, lonely and disconnected. Welcome to SS :)

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

To me, "selfish" sounds like a message of guilt you got from someone else a long time ago. It doesn't even make sense in this context. Being selfish means keeping something for yourself that you "should" be sharing with others. Sometimes people say it's selfish to not want to have children, and the word doesn't make sense in that context, either, it's just one of those nonsense guilt messages meant to negate people for not going along with the mindless majority.

 

[MsMaudlin]

I don't think any part of your post sounds at all selfish.
Have you considered that you may have depression?
Much love
❤

 

[Sweet_Lullaby]

Your english is better than mine and I'm english :) There definitely seems to be an existential crisis in the world. People are lost, lonely and disconnected. Welcome to SS :)

Thanks buddy!

To me, "selfish" sounds like a message of guilt you got from someone else a long time ago. It doesn't even make sense in this context. Being selfish means keeping something for yourself that you "should" be sharing with others. Sometimes people say it's selfish to not want to have children, and the word doesn't make sense in that context, either, it's just one of those nonsense guilt messages meant to negate people for not going along with the mindless majority.

In a way, yeah. Maybe selfish isn't the accurate word. Whenever I vent to friends, which is rare, they just shrug off what I say and focus on the good things I have. I feel a little guilty bringing my feelings up, because... I don't know. It's like my problems aren't a big deal compared to others, and I should be more grateful for what I have and what I have accomplished.

I don't think any part of your post sounds at all selfish.
Have you considered that you may have depression?
Much love
❤

I have considered it, yes. Since a young age, although I had no idea what it was at the time. For three times I tried making an appointment with a psychiatrist, but didn't find the courage to get in the office. Just stood there at the door, had a cigarette beforehand and left. I don't know if when I get an appointment I'll be able to find the right words to describe what I'm feeling. Tbh, I just wanted to take some medication to see if I would feel a little better, at least to start improving things. It's like I know what I have to do, I just don't don't have the strength to do those things without a little push

 

[SugarbushMtn]

You have depression. Everything is "perfect" yet you still are not happy. That's depression, it paints everything in a dark light. I am the same..

 

[Sweet_Lullaby]

You have depression. Everything is "perfect" yet you still are not happy. That's depression, it paints everything in a dark light. I am the same..

It sucks, doesn't it?
And the worst part is that it comes in waves and can hit you all of a sudden. One day you're okay, the next day you wake up wishing you didn't. I feel ya mate

 

[S1mpleme]

Who am I to judge you, follow your heart.

 

[marcusuk63]

Depression has no preferences, it will attack anyone,
any race colour or creed,
no matter how successful or not,
Famous or unknown.
it takes no prisoners.

 

[Esc9434]

Find some new hobbies. Put your head down and focus solely on these hobbies. Make sure they are mentally stimulating.

 

[Majin K.]

Humans are inherently selfish and every single thing we do is selfish as well. Even the things we do for others, we only do because they make us feel better about ourselves. Religious people would be the epitome of that. "I'm going to be a good person, because otherwise I'll get thrown into hell.".