19andOverdue
Member
- Jun 12, 2022
- 80
I have BPD, and I hate my life, and I don't feel entitled to any love or empathy whatsoever. I know and feel all the pain I cause in my relationships, and I try to make up for all the mistakes I've made. Society calls me a narcissist because of the trauma I've faced and can't get past. They blame me for my negative emotions because I'm inherently "manipulative and sociopathic" to all my relationships. I've never done anything malicious by intent, and I only ever hurt and blame myself when things go wrong amongst my loved ones. I make up/compensate for all my mistakes. But they still hold strong in their hate against me.
My family calls all of these self-deprecating symptoms vulnerable narcissism. And they warn everybody about it because they think I'm dangerous to anybody I love. Which I feel is the complete opposite of my personality and my BPD. All I want is love and empathy among people, I love people, and I find joy in others achievements and joys in life. How can I prove I'm not a narcissist. And if I am, Please tell me how I can fix it, and/or lower myself to the bottom of worthiness. Maybe my pain will make up for the burden my existence has caused.
My family calls all of these self-deprecating symptoms vulnerable narcissism. And they warn everybody about it because they think I'm dangerous to anybody I love. Which I feel is the complete opposite of my personality and my BPD. All I want is love and empathy among people, I love people, and I find joy in others achievements and joys in life. How can I prove I'm not a narcissist. And if I am, Please tell me how I can fix it, and/or lower myself to the bottom of worthiness. Maybe my pain will make up for the burden my existence has caused.