Help Am about to do something on impulse, someone help me out please

[Caspers]

Hi, as you may have guessed I am not feeling good. I have SN and suddenly have a big urge to CTB but I am trying to wait to have some things sorted out (sell some items, tidy my room etc) before attempting. Today I just have a really really bad urge to just down my SN, is there anyone (preferably on discord) who can help me out and talk me out of it? I'm sorry I'm being such a burden, I'm not worth it but I need some help otherwise I will do it.

Edit: I've just been called down for dinner, I will be offline for an hour or two. Thank you thank you thank you if you can spend some time.

 

[Ghost2211]

Hey friend, what's making you feel so impulsive?

 

[BorderlineSuicidal]

You're not being a burden. But just so you know, I attempted with sn back in April, and it was on impulse too. This is something you should never do on impulse. It resulted in me suffering more than needed and also, obviously surviving. You need to be prepared. The decision to take sn isn't one to make on a whim. Please be careful.

 

[Cant Maintain]

I know the feeling intimately, if you want to contact me through the sites chat, feel free to, I respond usually as quickly as I can

 

[Meretlein]

I sent you a friend request.

 

[VIBRITANNIA]

it's not a burden to reach out for help. everyone has the right to receive help.

 

[tidalwxves]

Hi, as you may have guessed I am not feeling good. I have SN and suddenly have a big urge to CTB but I am trying to wait to have some things sorted out (sell some items, tidy my room etc) before attempting. Today I just have a really really bad urge to just down my SN, is there anyone (preferably on discord) who can help me out and talk me out of it? I'm sorry I'm being such a burden, I'm not worth it but I need some help otherwise I will do it.

Edit: I've just been called down for dinner, I will be offline for an hour or two. Thank you thank you thank you if you can spend some time, my discord UN is Maz#4328

I'm proud of you for asking for help, you need to do something that will fully distract you. Can you go for a walk? Is there someone you live with you can watch a movie with or something?

 

[Caspers]

@RoseyBird @DazaiCTB @Can't Maintain @Meretlein @VIBRITANNIA @tidalwxves

Thank you very much for your words, it meant a lot. The trigger is I have a thought diary (suggested by my therapist) and I wrote down some of the bad things I feel about myself, and it gave me a really strong urge, but I know it's too early right now. I watched some tv with my family but it's night time now, and that's when the thoughts really come to feed on you. And I really don't want to compulsively take SN, it would lead to a lot of negative things, it's just so tempting when it's right there.

One of my closest friends just texted me asking how I'm doing (we don't talk often, but when we do we're super close), it feels like he just knew? He doesn't know I'm suffering, but it's such a coincidence.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

An actual call with someone who can keep you occupied would be more useful than relying on replies from people on a forum imo

 

[Caspers]

An actual call with someone who can keep you occupied would be more useful than relying on replies from people on a forum imo

If I call someone irl then I am very likely to be sectioned. There's only one human who knows I'm suicidal, my therapist, although he doesn't know how bad I am. He tells me to text or phone him if I need to, but there's no way I'm risking a psych ward. He knows how traumatic that would be. Also my room is close to my parent's (I'm over 18), so the likelihood of them hearing makes it an almost definite no

 

[Deleted member 17949]

If I call someone irl then I am very likely to be sectioned. There's only one human who knows I'm suicidal, my therapist, although he doesn't know how bad I am. He tells me to text or phone him if I need to, but there's no way I'm risking a psych ward. He knows how traumatic that would be. Also my room is close to my parent's (I'm over 18), so the likelihood of them hearing makes it an almost definite no

don't need to talk to them about suicide. I managed to stop an attempt by talking about college for 3 hours straight, but I appreciate that may not work depending on your mental state. Your mood likely will change given enough time, so this is really about distraction rather than solution

 

[Ghost2211]

Glad to hear you found some ways to calm down a bit. The impulsive moments are awful feeling. If you're sure you want to ctb try to keep reminding yourself that doing so during a calm planned time will help things go smoother. Impulse and panic make it hard for us to think clearly.

 

[Caspers]

Glad to hear you found some ways to calm down a bit. The impulsive moments are awful feeling. If you're sure you want to ctb try to keep reminding yourself that doing so during a calm planned time will help things go smoother. Impulse and panic make it hard for us to think clearly.

Yes, I have my plan written down and everything, necking it down would just cause problems, but the temptation is so strong. Thankfully a few people are happy to talk to me to stop me thinking, and so far it's working.

 

[Caspers]

Update: I am feeling better thanks to the people who have reached out to help me, crisis temporarily averted

 

[MariV]

You're not being a burden. But just so you know, I attempted with sn back in April, and it was on impulse too. This is something you should never do on impulse. It resulted in me suffering more than needed and also, obviously surviving. You need to be prepared. The decision to take sn isn't one to make on a whim. Please be careful.

why didnt it work for you? im planning to use SN soon

 

[BipolarGuy]

Hi, as you may have guessed I am not feeling good. I have SN and suddenly have a big urge to CTB but I am trying to wait to have some things sorted out (sell some items, tidy my room etc) before attempting. Today I just have a really really bad urge to just down my SN, is there anyone (preferably on discord) who can help me out and talk me out of it? I'm sorry I'm being such a burden, I'm not worth it but I need some help otherwise I will do it.

Edit: I've just been called down for dinner, I will be offline for an hour or two. Thank you thank you thank you if you can spend some time, my discord UN is Maz#4328

What is discord?

 

[Caspers]

What is discord?

Discord is a chat app where you can talk to people all over the world. It was originally created for gamers. The great thing with Discord is almost everyone uses a gaming name, so it's as anonymous as you choose it to be.

 

[BipolarGuy]

Discord is a chat app where you can talk to people all over the world. It was originally created for gamers. The great thing with Discord is almost everyone uses a gaming name, so it's as anonymous as you choose it to be.

Oh ok well I don't have a microphone, but I would like to go on to it.

 

[Caspers]

Oh ok well I don't have a microphone, but I would like to go on to it.

Tbh I've never used the talk service, only texting and I don't have a mic. So don't worry about it. SS have a server (was taken down but has just risen back up)

 

[BipolarGuy]

Tbh I've never used the talk service, only texting and I don't have a mic. So don't worry about it. SS have a server (was taken down but has just risen back up)

Is it the option 'chat' along the top, or is it something else?

 

[Caspers]

Is it the option 'chat' along the top, or is it something else?

Don't worry, 'chat' is just texting, nothing else. When you have a friend, you will have the option to call or text, and you can just use your phone/laptop's in built microphone or earphones if preferred

 

[BipolarGuy]

Have you just sent a friend request? And 'chat' is just texting, nothing else. When you have a friend, you will have the option to call or text, and you can just use your phone/laptop's in built microphone or earphones if preferred

I have no idea what you mean by a 'friend request'. So no I haven't sent anything.
Is this all done under the 'chat' option at the top?
I didn't know computers had a built in microphone. Obviously phones do.

 

[Caspers]

I have no idea what you mean by a 'friend request'. So no I haven't sent anything.
Is this all done under the 'chat' option at the top?
I didn't know computers had a built in microphone. Obviously phones do.

I just got a friend request and I assumed it was you. Turns out it is someone from Reddit who had a link to this post?? I've asked the mods to remove my username from the original post. And most laptops and computers have a microphone, you could always check online whether yours does by typing the make online. Although I've never had someone on discord ask to phone me, so I doubt you'd have a problem with that

 

[DeadBirdSaysGoodbye]

No burden and no doubt your as worth it as anyone else (so worth it then!).
I'm just back on site after self banning to ctb. Failed obvs and to some degree that due to acting on impulse.
Waiting to earn my privilidges back. Guess that means I can't do discord (?).
Can see others ready, willing & able though.
My message is simply hold off until you are absolutely ready. Don't act on impulse. Let others hold you in the meantime (on this site or elsewhere).
Wishing you strength & comfort.

Hi, as you may have guessed I am not feeling good. I have SN and suddenly have a big urge to CTB but I am trying to wait to have some things sorted out (sell some items, tidy my room etc) before attempting. Today I just have a really really bad urge to just down my SN, is there anyone (preferably on discord) who can help me out and talk me out of it? I'm sorry I'm being such a burden, I'm not worth it but I need some help otherwise I will do it.

Edit: I've just been called down for dinner, I will be offline for an hour or two. Thank you thank you thank you if you can spend some time, my discord UN is Maz#4328

 

[Caspers]

No burden and no doubt your as worth it as anyone else (so worth it then!).
I'm just back on site after self banning to ctb. Failed obvs and to some degree that due to acting on impulse.
Waiting to earn my privilidges back. Guess that means I can't do discord (?).
Can see others ready, willing & able though.
My message is simply hold off until you are absolutely ready. Don't act on impulse. Let others hold you in the meantime (on this site or elsewhere).
Wishing you strength & comfort.

The SS Discord was recently deleted, they've just opened up a new one. And don't worry, a few people talked to me and I have calmed down. I am beginning to set a date, but I will not be doing it on impulse like I was about to this time

 

[DeadBirdSaysGoodbye]

Good. Just saw the date you posted!. Duh !. I was hardly in the nick of time there was I?!.
Glad you held off. There are some good people here & you had the wit to get the help to hold fire. Good on you.
Obviously I would love it if you (& me & everyone else on here & elsewhere) never felt the impulse or need to ctb ever again and where blessedly well, happy & content for evermore.
In the absence of miracals keep strong & keep holding on until you are good ready.
Wishing you strength.

The SS Discord was recently deleted, they've just opened up a new one. And don't worry, a few people talked to me and I have calmed down. I am beginning to set a date, but I will not be doing it on impulse like I was about to this time

 

[Caspers]

Good. Just saw the date you posted!. Duh !. I was hardly in the nick of time there was I?!.
Glad you held off. There are some good people here & you had the wit to get the help to hold fire. Good on you.
Obviously I would love it if you (& me & everyone else on here & elsewhere) never felt the impulse or need to ctb ever again and where blessedly well, happy & content for evermore.
In the absence of miracals keep strong & keep holding on until you are good ready.
Wishing you strength.

Thanks for your nice words, and don't worry about the date, I do that a lot too. Yes, it would be lovely if we could all be miraculously cured, but there is so much wrong in this world and so many mental health issues that that's a long way away. At least we have a place we can talk about it.