always the fool, again

[loslassen]

I don't know why I thought talking to my mom made a difference or why I believed I could trust her again. the signs were there but I just wanted to convince myself she could change, she betrayed my trust once more and said some very hurtful things, I hate her, I hate to love her, and my dad's been gone, I hate how they don't care. I want to die and I want it to hurt them, I want to spite them, so they can find the truth after I'm gone