Alone :( wish I was dead now:(

[Tigeress Lost]

Hi Friend

you can read and reply if u want but don't have too. I have no Friends No boyfriend No family members who really do give a fxxk About me I'm only here cause I'm waiting for SN
Even The Mental health system have failed me the nhs have failed me I can't afford private care
I'm not old but my bipolar disorder and bpd has made me lose every human I care for that I love
I have to battle my demons every second despite being on strong doses of phyc drugs

I have a kind heart so get taken for a ride these few weeks 2-4 Waiting for SN are my hardest each day I wake up & think NOOO not again

My Ex didn't give a crap he's only worried his name will be mentioned if I ctb not because I want to ctb
How cruel & nasty is that oh don't mention my Facebook page when you ctb

I don't Know Guys If you want to reply to me:(
If you don't I understand I have no one I'm just waiting around to ctb than touchwood I will be gone from this planet for good cause I hate it this world tbh is not for me:(

I get more love from animals than humans my kitten cookie gave me so much but even she got run over and left me alone again
But baby Kitten mummy is coming to hug you soon promise :(

 

[ocd is bad]

Being alone is so hard. I relate to that too. Sorry your family/ex doesn't seem to care.

 

[marcusuk63]

I hate this world too , i hate everything about it , well society anyway , i would gladly have nothing to do with it and live in total isolation with just animals as company . Sorry for the loss of your kitty xx

 

[BPD Barbie]

Being alone is horrible and feeling abandoned and let down is even worse. I'm sorry that you feel this way. I know when I got my SN in the mail it gave me comfort just to know I had it. So I hope when you receive it you feel the same. Sorry to hear about your baby kitten as well. Animals take up a huge space in our hearts.

 

[raindrops]

It makes me feel sick knowing people just fuck off when they know you suffer mentally.
The problem is people especially loved ones they cba to research how to deal with things when it gets bad, they're selfish.
At least you can be open here, people here care and somewhat understand.
Sending you a virtual hug
x

 

[It'sNotLookingGood]

Hi, I'm really sorry you feel so low. I know the feeling of waking up, and desperately wishing you hadn't, all too well. When I wake, I can usually count down the seconds till my depression hits, often five seconds, and I panic and stress at the thought of having to get through another day. It sometimes seems an impossible task - I just wanna be asleep again, unconscious.

I'm sorry about the people in your life, and about your precious kitten:(

Life is very very hard, and much harder for some people than others. It isn't at all fair. I hope one day you can find happiness, or failing that, at least peace.

Warm wishes I'm sure from everyone on the board, including me <3

 

[bravotess]

I'm sorry you are in such a rough spot.
Losing a pet is very hard, especially one that sounds as sweet as Cookie.
Your ex sounds like a total douche.
You are not alone! Reach out to me if you want to talk.

 

[VIBRITANNIA]

i'm sorry that people haven't treated you right, and i'm especially sorry you lost cookie. ss is here for you. wishing you peace.

 

[Diablox]

I want

Hi Friend

you can read and reply if u want but don't have too. I have no Friends No boyfriend No family members who really do give a fxxk About me I'm only here cause I'm waiting for SN
Even The Mental health system have failed me the nhs have failed me I can't afford private care
I'm not old but my bipolar disorder and bpd has made me lose every human I care for that I love
I have to battle my demons every second despite being on strong doses of phyc drugs

I have a kind heart so get taken for a ride these few weeks 2-4 Waiting for SN are my hardest each day I wake up & think NOOO not again

My Ex didn't give a crap he's only worried his name will be mentioned if I ctb not because I want to ctb
How cruel & nasty is that oh don't mention my Facebook page when you ctb

I don't Know Guys If you want to reply to me:(
If you don't I understand I have no one I'm just waiting around to ctb than touchwood I will be gone from this planet for good cause I hate it this world tbh is not for me:(

I get more love from animals than humans my kitten cookie gave me so much but even she got run over and left me alone again
But baby Kitten mummy is coming to hug you soon promise :(

wanted to pm you to tell you, if you want someone to talk I am here. I am not physically alone, but I feel alone cause i have a illness no one understands. I have to fake all the time i'm ok when i am far from ok. It eats my soul. So even I'm surrounded by my gf and family all day long I feel so extreme extreme alone... so i get what your saying

 

[LenkaX]

Life is crap for people with mental illness. I have schizoaffective disorder so I know. I have to fight every day. Every little thing is a fight. When I wake up in the morning, I say to myself "Oh no" because the same monotonous day repeats for me every day. Every day is the same, over and over.
I just need to wait till Cimetidine arrives from the USA and then I will have everything for my Amitriptyline coctail. I just need to take it and then I will rest forever.
Wishing you luck and all the best.

 

[Tigeress Lost]

Being alone is so hard. I relate to that too. Sorry your family/ex doesn't seem to care.

Hi Friend

My Ex He is The Biggest Mistake Of My Life He Just Abused & Used Me TBH I Want To ctb Cause Of Him
I Can't Live With These Painful Memories I'm Tired Of Fighting My Inner Demons Caused By My Mental Health Issues & My Inner Wounds Caused By Him & My Family I'm Alone In A Very Sad Dark Place:(

I hate this world too , i hate everything about it , well society anyway , i would gladly have nothing to do with it and live in total isolation with just animals as company . Sorry for the loss of your kitty xx

Hi Friend
I Feel The Same Animals Give You So Much Unconditional Love I Miss My Baby Kitten Cookie Every Second Of The Day :(
Humans Can Be So Selfish Cruel Unkind & TBH This Human World Is Not For People Like Me:(

i'm sorry that people haven't treated you right, and i'm especially sorry you lost cookie. ss is here for you. wishing you peace.

Hi Friend
Thank You So Much SS Your The Only Place I Am Me And I Will Be With My Cookie Soon She Was My Baby I Miss Her Every Second She Was My Best Ffiend I Wish You Peace & Hugs Too

I'm sorry you are in such a rough spot.
Losing a pet is very hard, especially one that sounds as sweet as Cookie.
Your ex sounds like a total douche.
You are not alone! Reach out to me if you want to talk.

Hi Friend

My EX Is The Most Selfish Abusive User On This Planet You Could Ever Meet I Mean Saying To Me That ' I Don't Care If You ctb But Don't Mention My Facebook Account Or Name '
As For
Losing Cookie My Kitten Was Hardest Thing Ever & Than Losing My Dad It Was A Double Blow But She Was Already There So Now She Will Be Sitting On My Dad's Lap Waiting For Mummy Kitten
Thank You So Much
It's Just I've Hit A Really Dark Place Right Now:(

It makes me feel sick knowing people just fuck off when they know you suffer mentally.
The problem is people especially loved ones they cba to research how to deal with things when it gets bad, they're selfish.
At least you can be open here, people here care and somewhat understand.
Sending you a virtual hug
x

Hi Friend

You are right as soon as I got bpd and than bipolar disorder and started getting anger outbursts and mood swings my family & loved ones just started to call me MENTAL and just walked away
They Never Researched About My Mental Health Issues Why I Was The Way I Was TBH On Here When I Post Or Comment I'm Me
This Site Is Not Harmful To Me I Find Comfort And To Me Information Is Power And Having A Choice On ctb Is Good Because It's My Right To Choose
A Virtual Hug For You Too

Life is crap for people with mental illness. I have schizoaffective disorder so I know. I have to fight every day. Every little thing is a fight. When I wake up in the morning, I say to myself "Oh no" because the same monotonous day repeats for me every day. Every day is the same, over and over.
I just need to wait till Cimetidine arrives from the USA and then I will have everything for my Amitriptyline coctail. I just need to take it and then I will rest forever.
Wishing you luck and all the best.

Hi Friend
Ohhhhhhh Your Photo It Scared me! But You Are Right Life Is 10000% Crap For People With Mental Illness You Battle With Your inner demons every day every single moment is a struggle I'm waiting for my SN than hoping to sleep forever

wish you good luck and a swift travel may you find peace my friend

I want

wanted to pm you to tell you, if you want someone to talk I am here. I am not physically alone, but I feel alone cause i have a illness no one understands. I have to fake all the time i'm ok when i am far from ok. It eats my soul. So even I'm surrounded by my gf and family all day long I feel so extreme extreme alone... so i get what your saying

Hi Friend
Thank You & For Understanding Pls try and feel happy with your gf and family I'm mentally & physically alone but you have be suffering a mental illness to understand how it makes you feel normal people who don't have it will never understand how it feels I understand how you feel

 

[Tigeress Lost]

Hi, I'm really sorry you feel so low. I know the feeling of waking up, and desperately wishing you hadn't, all too well. When I wake, I can usually count down the seconds till my depression hits, often five seconds, and I panic and stress at the thought of having to get through another day. It sometimes seems an impossible task - I just wanna be asleep again, unconscious.

I'm sorry about the people in your life, and about your precious kitten:(

Life is very very hard, and much harder for some people than others. It isn't at all fair. I hope one day you can find happiness, or failing that, at least peace.

Warm wishes I'm sure from everyone on the board, including me <3

Hi Friend

Thank You So Much How Did You Know I Feel Like That Every Single Day? I Want To Be Asleep Too Wish I Went Into A Coma Or Suffered Complete Memory Loss

My Cookie My Kitten She Really Loved Me
My Friend I Will Never Ever Be Happy In This Life Hence I Want Peace No Point Carrying On Forever Sleep Is ctb

I Can Try To At Least Achieve That SN Come Soon Pls:( Cookie Mummy Is Coming To You Soon
Thank You
Peace & Hugs To Eveyone On Board

 

[Tigeress Lost]

To All The Kind Members On Here
Someone Wants To Say Hello From The Other Side
My Kitten Cookie
RIP Cookie

 

[It'sNotLookingGood]

To All The Kind Members On Here
Someone Wants To Say Hello From The Other Side
My Kitten Cookie
RIP Cookie

She's gorgeous <3 Anyone would be lucky to have known her <3

 

[sideswipe84]

I'm sorry everything seems to have gone against you, I also feel very similar.
Whatever would make any of it better for you I truly hope that you manage.

 

[Denise2207]

To All The Kind Members On Here
Someone Wants To Say Hello From The Other Side
My Kitten Cookie
RIP Cookie

@Tigeress Lost aww she is adorable. Sorry for your loss and for how you've come to be here. Sending you love and hugs Xx

 

[Hopeindeath!]

I'm sorry for your loss. I understand the pain you must be going through. My kitten, Nestor got hit by a car when I was 12.

 

[Worthless_nobody]

To All The Kind Members On Here
Someone Wants To Say Hello From The Other Side
My Kitten Cookie
RIP Cookie

Sending you hugs. Its so hard loosing a beloved pet because they become family and all some of us have. I'm still not over the loss of my beloved dog and I never will be...she was the light of my life. I read your original message on here and wow your ex sounds like such an evil jerk just like my ex. My ex said something similar to me saying he didn't care that I ctb and how he only cared about his image and my death would make him look bad and saying he didn't care my dog died. I hate how cruel people can be.

 

[Tigeress Lost]

She's gorgeous <3 Anyone would be lucky to have known her <3

Hi Friend
Thank You
She Was A Tiny Baby Kitten The Size Of My Hand When I Got Her & Cause She Was Muti coloured she reminded me of chocolate chip cookies so I named her cookie my baby when I lost her in 2003 I wanted to murder the woman who ran her over with her car she took my baby from me forever
Peace & Hugs

I'm sorry everything seems to have gone against you, I also feel very similar.
Whatever would make any of it better for you I truly hope that you manage.

Hi Friend

Right Now I'm So Deflated and down and I can't see a way forward in my life no hope no love no reason to carry on being here so when I get my SN I will ctb and hopefully get peace and meet my kitten cookie again:(
I'm in a bad place right now:(
But thank you so much for replying
Peace & Hugs

@Tigeress Lost aww she is adorable. Sorry for your loss and for how you've come to be here. Sending you love and hugs Xx ❤

Hi Friend
Thanks For Being There yes she was beautiful cute funny and my baby and I will be with her soon I hope and yes it's hard right now for me:(
But at least I can be honest about ctb on here and no one starts calling me Mental
Since I've joined SS I don't discuss ctb with my so called family anymore my true feelings are shared here on this forum
At least you guys understand how I'm truly feeling
Love to you
peace & warmest hugs

I'm sorry for your loss. I understand the pain you must be going through. My kitten, Nestor got hit by a car when I was 12.

Hi Friend
I'm so sorry for your loss tooo it must have been so difficult for you to bear but just imagine Nestor & cookie are on the other side playing and hugging each other
Peace And Hugs Friend

Sending you hugs. Its so hard loosing a beloved pet because they become family and all some of us have. I'm still not over the loss of my beloved dog and I never will be...she was the light of my life. I read your original message on here and wow your ex sounds like such an evil jerk just like my ex. My ex said something similar to me saying he didn't care that I ctb and how he only cared about his image and my death would make him look bad and saying he didn't care my dog died. I hate how cruel people can be.

Hi Sweetie
They Can Be So Cruel And Selfish And Users I Went Into Shock when He Said That I really loved him for 5 years gave him my everything and only to later hear those words his Facebook groups are more important than a girl who truly loved him and gave her all he is one of the reasons I want to ctb cause the pain with the demons I fight everyday alone is getting too much for me
I wish I had memory loss or went into a coma things would be soo much better than your loss of your beautiful dog will always be with you just like mine is they were not animals but our babies parts of our heart we can never forget them
But just hope to meet them again on the other side which is where they are
I understand your pain friend
Peace & Hugs

 

[mr.smileysad]

If you want someone to talk to while you wait for sn pls pm me also let us know here when you ctb so we can wish you warm hugs

 

[Tigeress Lost]

If you want someone to talk to while you wait for sn pls pm me also let us know here when you ctb so we can wish you warm hugs

Hi Friend
Oh Definitely I Will Be With You Guys On My Goodbyes Forever Post I'm Not Doing it Alone But At The Moment I'm Still Here Growling
Peace & Hugs