Alone....even here :-(

[Defenestration]

I feel alone... even here.

be careful this is not at all a criticism against you i liké you very much...all membets


but there are so many people on this forum that I have the impression (maybe false) that people don't care what happens to me

there have already been hundreds of farewell threads and it has become almost banal, one more one less...?

imagine I make a farewell thread at best I will have responses from people who will be connected at that time and the topic will be drowned among others after. and I will be forgotten in 1 day.

be careful, this is not at all a criticism, but I have difficulty linking on this forum also because of the language barrier
and I have the impression of being 1 among thousands, no one knows me, knows who I am qualities , my faults, my situation etc...

I feel like I'm just a number,a ghost.

once again this forum is great and I am very happy to have discovered it in 2020 that is not the question...

Do you have this sensation ?

 

[James34]

I also feel isolated and ignored on this site. I request for help with SN but no responses.

 

[Blurry_Buildings]

It's difficult to establish real connections in a virtual space unfortunately. I also feel incredibly isolated.

I think sometimes people ignore method help threads if they believe it's already been answered, because that implies someone is being impulsive and hasn't looked at things in depth. People also try to sound neutral so they aren't specifically advocating for or against someone's suicide, unless it seems like they are being impulsive or are choosing an especially painful/ unreliable method.

I wish air travel was dirt cheap and 5x as fast. Then someone could build a bar for depressed people who would stop by after work from around the world. Unfortunately all the bars everywhere are built for happy people with friends (and half of them have blaring music and asinine amounts of laser beams everywhere lol)

 

[Sleeper System]

I feel alone... even here.

be careful this is not at all a criticism against you i liké you very much...all membets


but there are so many people on this forum that I have the impression (maybe false) that people don't care what happens to me

there have already been hundreds of farewell threads and it has become almost banal, one more one less...?

imagine I make a farewell thread at best I will have responses from people who will be connected at that time and the topic will be drowned among others after. and I will be forgotten in 1 day.

be careful, this is not at all a criticism, but I have difficulty linking on this forum also because of the language barrier
and I have the impression of being 1 among thousands, no one knows me, knows who I am qualities , my faults, my situation etc...

I feel like I'm just a number,a ghost.

once again this forum is great and I am very happy to have discovered it in 2020 that is not the question...

Do you have this sensation ?

Many people come here so that traffic does cause posts to be drowned out and lost.
It's also true that, depending on the time, you might have a few viewers or you might have none.

People often come here with the same stories and situations and it does get redundant
to people who have been here for awhile. It's up to you make what you say grab peoples
attention if that is what you want. You have to make the effort to be detailed and unique.

Many people also come here, post a few times, and then never come back.
You have to show that you participate here and make an effort to keep this site going.
You have to interact and be here. Just like with any other site on the internet.

As for people coming on here brand new and immediatly asking about methods and sources...
no offense... but use common sense. The information is here. You have to stop the lazy bs and find it.
Once you know the rules and have done the proper research and have put time in, people will reach out.
We're not just going to offer info to anybody like that every single time its asked for.

I myself make posts and deal with the same sensation. It's not always going to pan out.
So I just post what I want to post and if anyone finds it interesting then cool.

 

[Tired_of_myself]

im sorry you feel like this… hope you feel seen and present here.

I think lots of replies get lost here, because of their numerous… but thats just my opinion :)

I think its hard to feel seen anywhere… but i feel small and replaceble so i transfer this feeling for all my social experiences, virtual or real… but again, thats me. Your experience is yours here in SS and everywhere else… i hope this thread gets more responses

 

[anne neum]

I don't get it cause I feel to me there is no difference if people mourn about me or not or if I am number or not. We all are ghosts, we are all but a thought and there is billions of people who live and die here. And we all are going to. By suicide or not. What does it matter if we to be remembered for a day, or a 100 years? Its futile anyway.
Also the one sure way of getting acknowledged is to talk to people, give them attention they seek, and they will be grateful and you both will no longer feel estranged. I found that it's much easier to be if you have an understanding : no one owes attention to you, or you to anyone. We choose to see each other, or not, and both choices are valid, cause ppl here seen too much already

 

[Defenestration]

I have known the method for a long time, I have had the time to research it and I often ask completely stupid questions to which I already have the answer, but I need to be reassured all the time, to master everything, to control everything 100/200. .or other opinions.

Besides, I have been a member since October 2020 and I am almost an old member... I realized this recently. afterwards I can only blame myself, I have done nothing to be interesting and I often post compulsively, I come, I leave...

The first obstacle for me is the language, to write I have to do everything with Google translate...

what saddens the most from a general point of view is what the sons say goodbye to almost every day... some people say"farewell" and 2 days later the person forgets and we move on to another... death is trivialized and impersonal...and we don't know if it was successful or not... It's not at all the site's fault but I find it extremely sad. I'm going to bed and tomorrow or the day after tomorrow there will be 2.3 people who will have made a goodbye thread.

how sad this world...

 

[Sleeper System]

I have known the method for a long time, I have had the time to research it and I often ask completely stupid questions to which I already have the answer, but I need to be reassured all the time, to master everything, to control everything 100/200. .or other opinions.

Besides, I have been a member since October 2020 and I am almost an old member... I realized this recently. afterwards I can only blame myself, I have done nothing to be interesting and I often post compulsively, I come, I leave...

The first obstacle for me is the language, to write I have to do everything with Google translate...

what saddens the most from a general point of view is what the sons say goodbye to almost every day... some people say"farewell" and 2 days later the person forgets and we move on to another... death is trivialized and impersonal...and we don't know if it was successful or not... It's not at all the site's fault but I find it extremely sad. I'm going to bed and tomorrow or the day after tomorrow there will be 2.3 people who will have made a goodbye thread.

how sad this world...

You made me realize that I don't even remember the user name of the people that I wish farewell...
I guess it's because I don't do it for me but for them. I want to let them know that some is witnessing them.
That they're apart of this community and they're not a alone. I don't care about myself deep down so caring about others is something I have to make the effort to do and sometimes I just don't have it in me other than to speak from the heart and say what I hope someone would tell me if the roles were reversed.

 

[anne neum]

You would rather wish that every death hit like a truck, scar you for years? Don't pity the dead, pity the living. They are the lucky ones.

 

[Defenestration]

in fact I'm a little more surrounded in real life than here. this is what stops me from committing suicide (parents, sister)

I had told a distant acquaintance that I wanted to commit suicide with a photo of the place where I was going to throw myself... and the guy told me that he felt uncomfortable, sad... it surprised me a lot because we really knew each other very little...

So when someone says tonight I'm hanging myself, that's normal and lots of people won't click on the topic. but hey we are not on a dating site here

You would rather wish that every death hit like a truck, scar you for years? Don't pity the dead, pity the living. They are the lucky ones.

no but between shocking me for years and not even attracting people's attention for 5 minutes there is a margin. but I include myself in it, I happened to say farewell while not even remembering the person's nickname afterwards and having forgotten it after 2 hours. I lost the love of my life a year and a half ago so I'm struggling with grief.

 

[FuneralCry]

I personally find the thought of being forgotten about to be very comforting, all I see as desirable is this existence permanently disappearing into nothingness. And anyway we all have to die someday, I see death as something very normal and inevitable, I bet that eventually most of us won't even exist in the memories of those who continue to stay here, it'll be like we never existed at all.

 

[Catch-22]

I also feel isolated and ignored on this site. I request for help with SN but no responses.

I also feel isolated and ignored on this site. I request for help with SN but no responses.

If you're asking for a source people will probably not give you that information.. you're not alone

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm sorry you feel so alone- even here. It's a tricky one because obviously- if you want to connect more, there's that balance between saying more about who you are without actually revealing it. Do you PM people you think you would connect with well? I think that can feel more personal than just open threads on the main forum.

Regarding the goodbye threads though. I would say they are especially difficult because we don't want to be seen either encouraging or preventing a suicide. So, we're not left with a lot to say...

If we happened to feel a great connection to that member- and sometimes we do, it can feel a bit like we're guilt tripping them to stay if we go on about how amazing they are, how connected we feel to them and how sad we'll be when they go. It's such a difficult time. Sometimes, I've spent ages just staring at the empty box, figuring out something meaningful to write. But- when I try, I find it sounds like I'm doing the whole guilt tripping thing, so I stick with my very naff: 'Sorry life has brought you here, I hope you find peace' response.

Initially, I always liked the idea of a goodbye thread. I liked the idea of not feeling so lonely at the end but really, I thought, what can we actually say to one another at the end? Plus, there's the obvious risk it puts on the forum if the police access our phones afterwards and the thread is open. I feel it more likely I would shedule my goodbye to appear after the fact now. That's my feeling though. It's not so much that people don't care. I think there are some incredibly caring people here in fact. It's almost that we care too much. Because we know that person is suffering, we know we have to respect their choice to leave. So, all we have left to say in a way is a sincere wish that they do find peace.

 

[Kasumi]

I don't think this to be true, at least not judging from my own way of seeing things.
You say you're one of thousands which while technically true doesn't make sense.

No one is able to keep the 40 something thousand (or how many) members in their mind, not just their names but also their identities, their presonality, etc.
That's why I believe most people at most know a few dozen people here, and the others might as well not exist.

I don't even comment on goodbye posts of people that I don't feel like I know them, cause I feel I would be an outsider intruding into their community within this one.
Because of exactly what you said, it would just be some random person posting in their thread who'd probably forget about them in a day again.

I post under the people's goodbye threads that I know or that I can connect to, essentially ones where I feel like I'm part of their space on here.
And likewise people I don't know will have other people on here that know them and that are part of their space, I just won't be one of them.

So in conclusion, I do think that there are people here that are part of your "family" so to speak, people that know you and care about you, maybe it's not me or the person posting after me, but they probably know who they are and you might even know as well.

 

[Slow_Farewell]

I get you, and personally, i am..okay with the site being that way.
All throughout life I'm constantly fed one lie after the other, that I'm special, I can be whatever I want to be, etc etc etc all to condition me to be someone or something that in reality, I am not.
The ones that have left, I also consider the lucky ones, and I am glad I have a place where I can be what I am, just a name and a number among multitudes. It's reassuring, to be honest, and offers a realistic view of the world.

 

[Neverfeltdeader]

The first obstacle for me is the language, to write I have to do everything with Google translate...

What's your first language?

 

[Defenestration]

Quelle est votre premiere langue?

French
excuse me for complaining. I will surely make a farewell thread when the time comes, without waiting for anything to give me courage while knowing that one day everyone will have forgotten. but if I want to find comfort it's in real life or on the phone if people are too far away... and uh the poor people who know me in real life will suffer from my suicide :-(

 

[Kasumi]

French

Out of scope but I love french, if I ever get the motivation to learn yet another language I'll learn french.

 

[SaveOurLastGoodbye]

I feel alone... even here.

be careful this is not at all a criticism against you i liké you very much...all membets


but there are so many people on this forum that I have the impression (maybe false) that people don't care what happens to me

there have already been hundreds of farewell threads and it has become almost banal, one more one less...?

imagine I make a farewell thread at best I will have responses from people who will be connected at that time and the topic will be drowned among others after. and I will be forgotten in 1 day.

be careful, this is not at all a criticism, but I have difficulty linking on this forum also because of the language barrier
and I have the impression of being 1 among thousands, no one knows me, knows who I am qualities , my faults, my situation etc...

I feel like I'm just a number,a ghost.

once again this forum is great and I am very happy to have discovered it in 2020 that is not the question...

Do you have this sensation ?

I'm sorry that you feel so alone… nobody deserves to feel like this. I've had to live with this torturous feeling for years. As a kid I never had many friends, and the ones I did have either betrayed or abandoned me. I've tried being in multiple relationships but they always fell apart no matter how hard I tried. It truly feels like a hopeless situation.

 

[BlackMoon]

I share this a lot, especially because I don't feel ok to be open about myself here, same IRL. I fear the hate, I fear the rejection that I witness some times. I know I'll never have any friend, even online. It's tearing myself. Every single time I talk with somebody, I know I'll have to lie when it comes to certain topics.

I'm not myself. I'm nothing.

 

[Defenestration]

I feel so tired and psychologically

. I would have loved to live on the 20th floor... that way I would have been able to kill myself 24 hours a day.

there I have to negotiate a time slot with a guard so that he can open the terrace of a building for me, a building that is not mine... a few km from home (and again I had to insist, lie to have the terrace opened for me)

...in short it doesn't help because if during the hour or 2 hours that I have the terrace I no longer really want it and the instinct for survival...

 

[Neverfeltdeader]

So

French
excuse me for complaining. I will surely make a farewell thread when the time comes, without waiting for anything to give me courage while knowing that one day everyone will have forgotten. but if I want to find comfort it's in real life or on the phone if people are too far away... and uh the poor people who know me in real life will suffer from my suicide :-(

So lucky! I have always wanted to speak French fluently. Have you ever watched 'Le Feu Follet'?

 

[Defenestration]

Donc

Tellement chanceux! J'ai toujours voulu parler français couramment. Avez-vous déjà regardé « Le Feu Follet » ?

No sorry

 

[BlackMoon]

French
excuse me for complaining. I will surely make a farewell thread when the time comes, without waiting for anything to give me courage while knowing that one day everyone will have forgotten. but if I want to find comfort it's in real life or on the phone if people are too far away... and uh the poor people who know me in real life will suffer from my suicide :-(

As a french myself, I recommend you DeepL, same as Google Translate but the quality of the translations is far better and it sounds more natural most of the time.

 

[Rapière]

Out of scope but I love french, if I ever get the motivation to learn yet another language I'll learn french.

I love french too -- it's so elegant and graceful. My native german sounds very crude and barbaric in contrast.