T
ThatStateOfMind
Enlightened
- Nov 13, 2021
- 1,422
I'm honestly shocked. I didn't think I could make it another year. Sure, there's been some attempts, all of which has failed. I'm mildly annoyed that I'm still here, although I have nobody to blame but myself. I'm a young adult, going into a world that is in a steady decline.
University and a move has really put me through the wringer for this past year. I want to die now more than ever, I think I've refined a DIY method with a belt. The main issue I had previously was that it compressed my trachea, and caused immense pain. I've remedied this by placing a t-shirt around my neck. It's still not completely painless but better than it was before and my throat doesn't feel like it's on fire.
I'm trying to hang on because I've already made plans with people for my birthday and what a bummer that would make me, eh? If I died before those plans, I would take away from these people's last chance at seeing me post-moving. Also, I just refuse to die before knowing the end of Sally Face and trying a few other things I have on my bucket list.
Idk, I know the time will come, and I'll change my mind more than likely. Who knows, I might have a good enough time on my birthday that it adds to my proverbial ticking clock. Also, if I am willing to wait, I might splurge and purchase some SN. It's less painful than that fucking belt, Jesus. Not gonna lie, my neck is still aching (I did those refinements right before typing this).
I still should probably find a place where I can die that my girlfriend won't be the first to find me too. I've always fancied the idea of dying in a national park. I just need to look into a way to send a delayed alert to authorities so some innocent family doesn't find me. This method will require much more planning, but I suppose I have nothing but time.
Anyways, this is just a long nothing burger of a post, I just needed to get things off my chest. It's been a little bit since I've been on here, I've been busy with assignments and quizzes (that I'm 90% sure I flunked, fuck discrete structures) and tonight, I had no homework luckily so I decided to post. Anyways, I'm probably going to find out how Sally Face ends soon, and relax for the night. Good morning/day/night to you all!
University and a move has really put me through the wringer for this past year. I want to die now more than ever, I think I've refined a DIY method with a belt. The main issue I had previously was that it compressed my trachea, and caused immense pain. I've remedied this by placing a t-shirt around my neck. It's still not completely painless but better than it was before and my throat doesn't feel like it's on fire.
I'm trying to hang on because I've already made plans with people for my birthday and what a bummer that would make me, eh? If I died before those plans, I would take away from these people's last chance at seeing me post-moving. Also, I just refuse to die before knowing the end of Sally Face and trying a few other things I have on my bucket list.
Idk, I know the time will come, and I'll change my mind more than likely. Who knows, I might have a good enough time on my birthday that it adds to my proverbial ticking clock. Also, if I am willing to wait, I might splurge and purchase some SN. It's less painful than that fucking belt, Jesus. Not gonna lie, my neck is still aching (I did those refinements right before typing this).
I still should probably find a place where I can die that my girlfriend won't be the first to find me too. I've always fancied the idea of dying in a national park. I just need to look into a way to send a delayed alert to authorities so some innocent family doesn't find me. This method will require much more planning, but I suppose I have nothing but time.
Anyways, this is just a long nothing burger of a post, I just needed to get things off my chest. It's been a little bit since I've been on here, I've been busy with assignments and quizzes (that I'm 90% sure I flunked, fuck discrete structures) and tonight, I had no homework luckily so I decided to post. Anyways, I'm probably going to find out how Sally Face ends soon, and relax for the night. Good morning/day/night to you all!