Almost did it today

[VoidBlessed]

I was so damn close. Almost every part of me wanted to, and I had the perfect opportunity. I was so excited, thinking what if today is the day! There's just one tiny kernel of fear remaining. Suicide is so close I can taste it.

 

[absolute failure]

I was so damn close. Almost every part of me wanted to, and I had the perfect opportunity. I was so excited, thinking what if today is the day! There's just one tiny kernel of fear remaining. Suicide is so close I can taste it.

How come you were close? Did you fail an attempt or were you just almost about to try an attempt ?

 

[Deer_Dairy]

For me - think about it. CTB should not be impulsive, since it cannot be taken back. Think about it calmly, with your mind, no emotions.
If you are sure you want to do it, make a list of up to five steps max! and go step by step without think about it. Just do what is needed to finish step one, proceed to step two... final step must be the one which cannot be undone.

 

[VoidBlessed]

How come you were close? Did you fail an attempt or were you just almost about to try an attempt ?

There is no failing this attempt, I think that's why I just barely stopped. I sat on the edge (metaphorically) for as long as I could to get used to the anxiety and the up-close implications of suicide. Almost all of me wanted to leave this shifty existence behind.

 

[absolute failure]

There is no failing this attempt, I think that's why I just barely stopped. I sat on the edge (metaphorically) for as long as I could to get used to the anxiety and the up-close implications of suicide. Almost all of me wanted to leave this shifty existence behind.

Oh wow, well, i wish i had access to a method with no chance of failure

 

[VoidBlessed]

Oh wow, well, i wish i had access to a method with no chance of failure

I wish everyone did. I wish suicide was just a normal, accepted thing that happens sometimes, and people were supportive of it.

 

[Deer_Dairy]

Oh wow, well, i wish i had access to a method with no chance of failure

Not a one thing in Universe is 100 %. But I can think of some method with very little chance of failure.

 

[absolute failure]

Not a one thing in Universe is 100 %. But I can think of some method with very little chance of failure.

Which are those methods?

 

[Deer_Dairy]

Which are those methods?

Jump from height (30 m+)to hard, flat surface. Mostly lethal.
Neck on train rail. Bet on it. (I owuld not do it, because driver can suffer trauma).
Powerful enough gun, shot to head. If you know how to operate a gun (operate is enough, not good at shooting, it is point blank) and you are not a moron (sorry for this), it is almost always lethal.
If poison is the option, than Taxus baccata it is. Make a "tea" or better an alcoholic beverage (macerate) and drink. There is no antidote to this and it is very strong poison. Use a lot of material and chance of surviving is little.
You have a room in your house that can be closed and somehow sealed? You can choose CO2 or maybe better CO. When CO is used, you will just fall asleep. If you are there long enough, it is certain.

All these information are publicly available, you can find it on internet, in books... so I don't feel guilty about telling you this.
Still it has to be said - do not try anything mentioned!

 

[absolute failure]

Jump from height (30 m+)to hard, flat surface. Mostly lethal.
Neck on train rail. Bet on it. (I owuld not do it, because driver can suffer trauma).
Powerful enough gun, shot to head. If you know how to operate a gun (operate is enough, not good at shooting, it is point blank) and you are not a moron (sorry for this), it is almost always lethal.
If poison is the option, than Taxus baccata it is. Make a "tea" or better an alcoholic beverage (macerate) and drink. There is no antidote to this and it is very strong poison. Use a lot of material and chance of surviving is little.
You have a room in your house that can be closed and somehow sealed? You can choose CO2 or maybe better CO. When CO is used, you will just fall asleep. If you are there long enough, it is certain.

All these information are publicly available, you can find it on internet, in books... so I don't feel guilty about telling you this.
Still it has to be said - do not try anything mentioned!

Heres my opinion on them:
1. i am scared of heights, so this i will NOT do that EVER. (If you have the guts to do that wow)
2. i agree, dont want to traumatize the poor driver
3. Yew tea wont kill you instantly and depending on the dosage you may just get heart problems. Where the fuck do i even find a yew here in germany lmao. On top of that: it tastes like ass from what i have read
4. i dont have a private enclosed space for this method and i live with myfamily.

I resorted to partial suspension hanging and failed miserably. SN is the next best thing i could try

Jump from height (30 m+)to hard, flat surface. Mostly lethal.
Neck on train rail. Bet on it. (I owuld not do it, because driver can suffer trauma).
Powerful enough gun, shot to head. If you know how to operate a gun (operate is enough, not good at shooting, it is point blank) and you are not a moron (sorry for this), it is almost always lethal.
If poison is the option, than Taxus baccata it is. Make a "tea" or better an alcoholic beverage (macerate) and drink. There is no antidote to this and it is very strong poison. Use a lot of material and chance of surviving is little.
You have a room in your house that can be closed and somehow sealed? You can choose CO2 or maybe better CO. When CO is used, you will just fall asleep. If you are there long enough, it is certain.

All these information are publicly available, you can find it on internet, in books... so I don't feel guilty about telling you this.
Still it has to be said - do not try anything mentioned!

Oh i skipped the gun: i cannot get my hands on one :(

 

[VoidBlessed]

For me - think about it. CTB should not be impulsive, since it cannot be taken back. Think about it calmly, with your mind, no emotions.
If you are sure you want to do it, make a list of up to five steps max! and go step by step without think about it. Just do what is needed to finish step one, proceed to step two... final step must be the one which cannot be undone.

I tried this approach in November and failed miserably. I had a huge anxiety attack with vomiting, nausea, all that. I think neglecting my emotions was the mistake - you will get anxious, have doubts, etc. and processing those before the moment of suicide will increase the chances of success. That's what I'm working on right now with meditation, introspection, and art therapy.

 

[Deer_Dairy]

I tried this approach in November and failed miserably. I had a huge anxiety attack with vomiting, nausea, all that. I think neglecting my emotions was the mistake - you will get anxious, have doubts, etc. and processing those before the moment of suicide will increase the chances of success. That's what I'm working on right now with meditation, introspection, and art therapy.

It is just misuderstanding - I do not mean to ignore emotions. Feel it, live it, but the decision itself must not be only emotional. That is all.

Heres my opinion on them:
1. i am scared of heights, so this i will NOT do that EVER. (If you have the guts to do that wow)
2. i agree, dont want to traumatize the poor driver
3. Yew tea wont kill you instantly and depending on the dosage you may just get heart problems. Where the fuck do i even find a yew here in germany lmao. On top of that: it tastes like ass from what i have read
4. i dont have a private enclosed space for this method and i live with myfamily.

I resorted to partial suspension hanging and failed miserably. SN is the next best thing i could try

Oh i skipped the gun: i cannot get my hands on one :(

Yeah, yew tea will not kill you instantly. But there is no way back after you drink it. Dosage must be "overkill" to be sure. Yew tree is most toxic during winter, btw. In my country (btw neighbor of Germany) we have yew trees in parks and gardens. And taste? Sure. Use sugar, lots of it. I've been drinking several teas which were disgusting and sugar can help.
Obtain a gun in Germany is pretty hard, I believe.