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Peanuts aren't nuts! They're seeds!
Jan 21, 2021
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The liability golums are back at it :) Anyone who wants to die is like a hot tater tot and people just keep passing it around until it changes- all to avoid liability.


Nice


Lesson- we are hot tater tots ;)​
 
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mini_weeny

mini_weeny

Every cradle is a grave
Jan 5, 2021
340
Yes I have learned I should keep my suicidality to myself, ppl don't know what to say or do, they get un comfy and psychs just wanna get rid of us, so...
 
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wordsonscreen

Peanuts aren't nuts! They're seeds!
Jan 21, 2021
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Yes I have learned I should keep my suicidality to myself, ppl don't know what to say or do, they get un comfy and psychs just wanna get rid of us, so...
I wish they'd just SAY so. Just tell me you cant help me instead of dragging me on for financial benefits.
 
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Wrennie

Wrennie

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Dec 18, 2019
1,546
It also makes it so that they can't be held accountable for my attempted suicide while I was under the influence of their "poison". The one drug I was placed on put me in a trance-like state and was what led to me jumping out a window. I was so "out of it" at the time that my muscles didn't tense to brace for impact before I hit the ground.
 
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ohhgeeitsme

ohhgeeitsme

Wizard
Feb 5, 2020
694
My first and only attempts were a direct result of akathisia, which I developed from SSRIs. It's more common in antipsychotic medication though.
 
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wordsonscreen

Peanuts aren't nuts! They're seeds!
Jan 21, 2021
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It also makes it so that they can't be held accountable for my attempted suicide while I was under the influence of their "poison". The one drug I was placed on put me in a trance-like state and was what led to me jumping out a window. I was so "out of it" at the time that my muscles didn't tense to brace for impact before I hit the ground.
Jesus christ. This is so fucked up. I started an anti depressant (for the first time) and it literally is like LSD for me but a bad trip. Visuals + anxiety + tachycardia. Everything moves. OR I feel totally numb. Awful shit. Its funny how these things are marketed but their efficacy is almost equal to placebos. I do not want to be a guinea pig for this trial and error process- my mind is all I have, I cannot risk altering it irreparably.
My first and only attempts were a direct result of akathisia, which I developed from SSRIs. It's more common in antipsychotic medication though.
The side effects of SSRIs are quite a bit. They're not as safe as the predominant narrative is. And the solution is- you try different meds until you find the correct one (while accruing their side effects too).
 
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Wrennie

Wrennie

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Dec 18, 2019
1,546
Jesus christ. This is so fucked up. I started an anti depressant (for the first time) and it literally is like LSD for me but a bad trip. Visuals + anxiety + tachycardia. Everything moves. OR I feel totally numb. Awful shit. Its funny how these things are marketed but their efficacy is almost equal to placebos. I do not want to be a guinea pig for this trial and error process- my mind is all I have, I cannot risk altering it irreparably.

The side effects of SSRIs are quite a bit. They're not as safe as the predominant narrative is. And the solution is- you try different meds until you find the correct one (while accruing their side effects too).
After being on the popular purportedly "safe" drug Wellbutrin for a minimum of two months I developed Tardive Dyskinesia-like symptoms that persisted even when I went off of it. 24/7 my body feels like static electricity is flowing through it. My hands shake so much I can no longer draw (the one thing in life I used to love & was considered really good at). With the loss of my artwork I feel like I've lost an integral, irreplaceable piece of what made me me. I'm constantly fighting against an invisible force inside my brain, and if I let my guard down however slightly then I immediately lose control over my facial muscles and my hand muscles simultaneously. It's exhausting to be on-guard all the time... I can't focus on literally anything else. And that frequent shock-like 'twinge' sensation in my brain is insufferable.

Worst of all there's no justice. Who can I hold accountable? In the end I'm just another accepted casualty of a barbaric modern practice. How many lives destroyed is too many to these people? Are the piles of corpses not enough to warrant a second glance? How about a mountain of dead? It's nauseating.
 
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Peanuts aren't nuts! They're seeds!
Jan 21, 2021
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After being on the popular purportedly "safe" drug Wellbutrin for a minimum of two months I developed Tardive Dyskinesia-like symptoms that persisted even when I went off of it. 24/7 my body feels like static electricity is flowing through it. My hands shake so much I can no longer draw (the one thing in life I used to love & was considered really good at). With the loss of my artwork I feel like I've lost an integral, irreplaceable piece of what made me me. I'm constantly fighting against an invisible force inside my brain, and if I let my guard down however slightly then I immediately lose control over my facial muscles and my hand muscles simultaneously. It's exhausting to be on-guard all the time... I can't focus on literally anything else. And that 'twinge' sensation in my brain is insufferable.

Worst of all there's no justice. Who can I hold accountable? In the end I'm just another accepted casualty of a barbaric modern practice. How many lives destroyed is too many to these people? Are the piles of corpses not enough to warrant a second glance? How about a mountain of dead? It's nauseating.
Hurt them where it hurts them :) Make them pay.


This is ridiculous. I am so sorry Wrennie :( You are such a darling and you deserve so much better than this shit.
 
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Wrennie

Wrennie

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Dec 18, 2019
1,546
Hurt them where it hurts them :) Make them pay.


This is ridiculous. I am so sorry Wrennie :( You are such a darling and you deserve so much better than this shit.
Thank you x infinity :heart:
I will most definitely look into the links you provided! I don't know if my family is currently financially well-off enough to file a lawsuit though... we're already paying for my medical expenses and then there's my brother's chronic illness to boot, but I hope that there would be some legal recourse for us. In the end though I know that no amount of money from a settlement will be able to undo the physical damages I've accrued. :mmm:
 
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wordsonscreen

Peanuts aren't nuts! They're seeds!
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Thank you x infinity :heart:
I will most definitely look into the links you provided! I don't know if my family is currently financially well-off enough to file a lawsuit though... we're already paying for my medical expenses and then there's my brother's chronic illness to boot, but I hope that there would be some legal recourse for us. In the end though I know that no amount of money from a settlement will be able to undo the physical damages I've accrued. :mmm:
oh no no- class action lawsuits are free. The lawyers take a chunk of whatever the settlement is. They get paid later.

But yeah.. the damage is done :/ They still shouldn't get away with it though. I'm sorry, dear.
 
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Wrennie

Wrennie

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Dec 18, 2019
1,546
oh no no- class action lawsuits are free. The lawyers take a chunk of whatever the settlement is. They get paid later.
Oh wow I had no idea!! That's a total game changer! LOL :pfff:
Thanks so much for clarifying!!
 
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ohhgeeitsme

ohhgeeitsme

Wizard
Feb 5, 2020
694
After being on the popular purportedly "safe" drug Wellbutrin for a minimum of two months I developed Tardive Dyskinesia-like symptoms that persisted even when I went off of it. 24/7 my body feels like static electricity is flowing through it. My hands shake so much I can no longer draw (the one thing in life I used to love & was considered really good at). With the loss of my artwork I feel like I've lost an integral, irreplaceable piece of what made me me. I'm constantly fighting against an invisible force inside my brain, and if I let my guard down however slightly then I immediately lose control over my facial muscles and my hand muscles simultaneously. It's exhausting to be on-guard all the time... I can't focus on literally anything else. And that frequent shock-like 'twinge' sensation in my brain is insufferable.

Worst of all there's no justice. Who can I hold accountable? In the end I'm just another accepted casualty of a barbaric modern practice. How many lives destroyed is too many to these people? Are the piles of corpses not enough to warrant a second glance? How about a mountain of dead? It's nauseating.

When my akathisia peaked, I also developed dyskinesia and it's one of the reasons I lost my job because my body would jerk so much, I'd constantly drop whatever was in my hand and was always about to fall over. I worked in a warehouse and couldn't do my job because of this. I was also, literally losing my mind in general and at one point, without realizing I was doing it in the minute, would start hitting myself in the head when an aka wave would get too intense, on top of the dyskinesia and severe sleep deprivation. I wouldn't realize it until someone came up to me and asked me if I was okay. Instead of letting me go home (I worked for Amazon), they moved me to a station where no one could see me because apparently I was scaring people. This was NOT normal behavior for me.

Honestly, being humiliated about people seeing me do that is the biggest reason I never went back to work. Also, every few seconds or minutes, I'd also hear this extremely loud BOOM in my head and my head would jerk down at the same time. It sounded exactly like someone hitting a microphone. This was especially terrifying. I'm so, so sorry you're still dealing with this. The dyskinesia only lasted a few weeks for me. The akathisia, however, persisted for a year after I stopped taking the drug and I still don't feel like I've completely recovered. It's just so mild now, and not constant, that it feels wrong to even complain about what I'm currently experiencing considering how bad it can get. When you talk about shock-like twinge sensations, are you referring to brain zaps? Although I developed akathisia from SSRIs while I was still on the medication (four months in), when I stopped taking it, I had brain zaps for about a month and half. They are very disorienting. How long have you been off it?
 
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wordsonscreen

wordsonscreen

Peanuts aren't nuts! They're seeds!
Jan 21, 2021
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The assholes obv cover ALL side affects to bypass liability.
 
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Wrennie

Wrennie

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Dec 18, 2019
1,546
When my akathisia peaked, I also developed dyskinesia and it's one of the reasons I lost my job because my body would jerk so much, I'd constantly drop whatever was in my hand and was always about to fall over. I worked in a warehouse and couldn't do my job because of this. I was also, literally losing my mind in general and at one point, without realizing I was doing it in the minute, would start hitting myself in the head when an aka wave would get too intense, on top of the dyskinesia and severe sleep deprivation. I wouldn't realize it until someone came up to me and asked me if I was okay. Instead of letting me go home (I worked for Amazon), they moved me to a station where no one could see me because apparently I was scaring people. This was NOT normal behavior for me.

Honestly, being humiliated about people seeing me do that is the biggest reason I never went back to work. Also, every few seconds or minutes, I'd also hear this extremely loud BOOM in my head and my head would jerk down at the same time. It sounded exactly like someone hitting a microphone. This was especially terrifying. I'm so, so sorry you're still dealing with this. The dyskinesia only lasted a few weeks for me. The akathisia, however, persisted for a year after I stopped taking the drug and I still don't feel like I've completely recovered. It's just so mild now, and not constant, that it feels wrong to even complain about what I'm currently experiencing considering how bad it can get. When you talk about shock-like twinge sensations, are you referring to brain zaps? Although I developed akathisia from SSRIs while I was still on the medication (four months in), when I stopped taking it, I had brain zaps for about a month and half. They are very disorienting. How long have you been off it?
I am SO sorry to hear that you underwent a torture similar to my own. No one derserves to suffer like this... especially not after being misled by so-called medical "professionals" that market their poison as being safe for our consumption.

The unpredictability & unpreventability of the movements is what's most incapacitating for me. I can't let my guard down for even an instant. The tremoring of my hands is constant but the random 'jerks' as you put it are random and could happen at any moment. I feel like a switch inside my brain has been permanently flipped to 'on' and there's no longer a threshold against unwarranted movements. Being on edge 24/7 is super debilitating.

I had brain zaps when I withdrew off of a former SSRI a while back but those ones were relatively mild and endurable rather than downright unbearable (as opposed to what I'm experiencing now) and only lasted about a week and a half into cessation of the drug. These "new" zaps are frightening in their intensity and, unlike before, are accompanied by an uncontrolled movement. For some reason the movements I experience are mostly limited to my hands and my face. I've been off of the offending drug for over 40 days, yet they still persist... Google says that once it's past the 3 month mark then they're likely here to stay.

A loud 'BOOM' in your head sounds terrifying!! I can't even imagine! As for me I don't hear any sound but it feels like something is short-circuiting deep within my brain... like an intensely hypersensitive 'twinge' sensation.

That's so horrendous to hear about how they treated you at your last job... I'm not currently employed due to my disabilities overtaking my ability to function in my day-to-day life but the thought of people staring or reacting funnily to my TD is one of the main barriers preventing me from leaving my house. (As if people with disabling illnesses didn't already have enough on their plates without having to worry about people's irredeemable attitudes toward factors beyond their control.)
 
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ohhgeeitsme

ohhgeeitsme

Wizard
Feb 5, 2020
694
I am SO sorry to hear that you underwent a torture similar to my own. No one derserves to suffer like this... especially not after being misled by so-called medical "professionals" that market their poison as being safe for our consumption.

The unpredictability & unpreventability of the movements is what's most incapacitating for me. I can't let my guard down for even an instant. The tremoring of my hands is constant but the random 'jerks' as you put it are random and could happen at any moment. I feel like a switch inside my brain has been permanently flipped to 'on' and there's no longer a threshold against unwarranted movements. Being on edge 24/7 is super debilitating.

I had brain zaps when I withdrew off of a former SSRI a while back but those ones were relatively mild and endurable rather than downright unbearable (as opposed to what I'm experiencing now) and only lasted about a week and a half upon cessation of the drug. These "new" zaps are frightening in their intensity and, unlike before, are accompanied by an uncontrolled movement. For some reason the movements I experience are mostly limited to my hands and my face. I've been off of the offending drug for over 40 days yet they still persist... Google says that once it's past the 3 month mark then they're likely here to stay.

A loud 'BOOM' in your head sounds terrifying!! I can't even imagine! As for me I don't hear any sound but it feels like something is short-circuiting deep inside my brain... like an intensely hypersensitive 'twinge' sensation.

That's so horrendous to hear about how they treated you at your last job... I'm not currently employed due to my disabilities overtaking my ability to function in my day-to-day life but the thought of people staring or reacting funnily to my TD is one of the main barriers preventing me from leaving my house.
(As if people with disabling illnesses didn't already have enough on their plates without having to worry about people's irredeemable attitudes toward the factors beyond their control.)
Damn, I'm so sorry. I remember reading that dyskinesia is likely permanent after a certain period. I'm glad you're not to the 3 month mark yet, so there is still hope. Although I know that doesn't mean much right now. I guess we are talking about different zaps then. You know, I've read so many people complain how intolerable brain zaps are, but what I experienced wasn't really all that bad. Sure, it was very disorienting, mostly because they were also accompanied with dizziness for me but if I'd rate the worst medically induced symptoms I've experienced (and I've experienced a lot), brain zaps would be pretty low on the list. Then again, severity is always different for people so maybe mine were just fairly mild. I definitely never say that when someone is complaining about theirs though, as I don't want to invalidate what they're experiencing, plus it really could be worse than what I'm imagining. Two people can have very different experiences, even though on paper, it's worded the same. I always try to remember that.

I understand how you must feel about people reacting to your TD. I still feel incredibly embarrassed about people witnessing me in those moments, and this was a year and two months ago. I really hope this turns around for you. I can totally understand you being suicidal over this. It's no way for anyone to live. So horrible. I wish you the best.
 
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NodusTollens

NodusTollens

Nov 17, 2020
989
I had brain zaps when I withdrew off of a former SSRI

I don't suppose the medication you're referring to is Effexor/Venlafaxine?

That medication gave me the WORST brain zaps at higher doses! :eh: If my eyes broken the immediate field of vision in line with my head (looking left/right) it would feel like I was just being electrocuted. Hated it.
 
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Wrennie

Wrennie

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Dec 18, 2019
1,546
I don't suppose the medication you're referring to is Effexor/Venlafaxine?

That medication gave me the WORST brain zaps at higher doses! :eh: If my eyes broken the immediate field of vision in line with my head (looking left/right) it would feel like I was just being electrocuted. Hated it.
The first med I went off of to give me brain zaps was Fluvoxamine, but those were incredibly minor and tolerable. The ones I'm going through now are beyond incapacitating. I'm so sorry to hear of your struggle.
 
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NodusTollens

NodusTollens

Nov 17, 2020
989
The first med I went off of to give me brain zaps was Fluvoxamine, but those were incredibly minor and tolerable. The ones I'm going through now are beyond incapacitating. I'm so sorry to hear of your struggle.
I didn't realize there were so many medications that caused that side effect. Same to you, sending HUGS, what you're experiencing sounds painful.
 
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wordsonscreen

wordsonscreen

Peanuts aren't nuts! They're seeds!
Jan 21, 2021
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@Wrennie and @ohhgeeitsme, I am legit appalled by this. wtf. I'm so sorry this has happened and your experiences sound deeply painful. I've worked in MH myself and, frankly, we (as a society) are just not ready to treat mental illness. We just are not and no one wants to admit it. Too much money to lose. Too much power to lose. We would rather let people suffer than admit our limitations.

Am here to listen and help in any way I can <3 I care about you!!
 
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