Venting All or nothing

[Seven]

If I dont make it, i will live stream my death. My date is January 1st 2020, if I still sulk over this person who doesnt care about me, if I still just lazily watch YouTube and let my life go by. If I still dont develop my project. I will gladly go on camera and end my life. This is a do or die situation, I dont want to end up just being some username. I ran to discord because of my friends death, I fell in love with someone to run away from their death. This person never loved me, yet here I am. Replaced and treated like nothing, but I need to make my worth, I need yo become somebody. This is hard but if I'm still on here by January 1st then you will get a show. I was lied to, but only because I let you. I shouldn't of loved you, I should of listened to myself and threw you away when I could. I have a redemption phase though, this is the time I can get rid of you for good you monster.

 

[calendulo]

To be honest, this kind of post is fascinating. First time since I am over here.
I can not help you, really sorry, but I guess other members can do it for sure.
Knowing you broadcast yourself as Youtube. I will follow your scenes or live shows or whatever.

 

[Painted Bird]

@Seven I hope you get over that horrible person as soon as possible and don't ctb because of them. I've been through some terrible relationships and would regret to hurt/kill myself because of them, they aren't worth it.

 

[Dead beat dad]

If I dont make it, i will live stream my death. My date is January 1st 2020, if I still sulk over this person who doesnt care about me, if I still just lazily watch YouTube and let my life go by. If I still dont develop my project. I will gladly go on camera and end my life. This is a do or die situation, I dont want to end up just being some username. I ran to discord because of my friends death, I fell in love with someone to run away from their death. This person never loved me, yet here I am. Replaced and treated like nothing, but I need to make my worth, I need yo become somebody. This is hard but if I'm still on here by January 1st then you will get a show. I was lied to, but only because I let you. I shouldn't of loved you, I should of listened to myself and threw you away when I could. I have a redemption phase though, this is the time I can get rid of you for good you monster.

Hi brother, I am so sorry to read this post and learn of how much pain you are in a what it has driven you to. If you can brother, be kind to yourself. You're obviously in a very dark place and by the tone of your post you may be piling pressure in yourself. If aren't able to represent as perfect on 01-01-20 that won't deminish any growth you create for yourself. I honestly and sincerely hope this journey is successful and light shines for you.
Peace brother.
DBD

 

[Seven]

maybe I've gotten too fucked up from tthi, it's funny when you're at your worst the abusers creep into your life happily willing to put you down a peg. Its all making sense but I need to get over this, still hurts and the wounds wont heal. I miss them even though they made my life a living hell. I wasn't good either I'm not innocent but still. This pain isn't worth it, just to be replaced.