BitterlyAlive
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- Apr 8, 2020
- 1,635
Every second that I am alive is torture. I can feel my mind rotting. I can barely focus on anything. Even writing this is exhausting. I can't read, draw, play video games...
My doctor thinks I'm doing better on Abilify because I worked my two 12 hour shifts last week. I had no choice because I was out of FMLA and am over the max occurences. I wanted to go home and just lay on the couch, hopefully sleeping. I feel dead.
My depression isn't any better. I still harm myself. I still want to kill myself. I know I am a waste of effort and space. The future is non-existent in my mind, yet it seems hopeless? I can't solve my own problems. I'm tired of struggling every single day. Life is such a damn strain.
I can't even sleep on my own. I have to self medicate. I wish ODing actually had a good chance of death. Oh well.
** Edit: Just realized i basically posted the same thing already. I'm sorry, guys.
My doctor thinks I'm doing better on Abilify because I worked my two 12 hour shifts last week. I had no choice because I was out of FMLA and am over the max occurences. I wanted to go home and just lay on the couch, hopefully sleeping. I feel dead.
My depression isn't any better. I still harm myself. I still want to kill myself. I know I am a waste of effort and space. The future is non-existent in my mind, yet it seems hopeless? I can't solve my own problems. I'm tired of struggling every single day. Life is such a damn strain.
I can't even sleep on my own. I have to self medicate. I wish ODing actually had a good chance of death. Oh well.
** Edit: Just realized i basically posted the same thing already. I'm sorry, guys.
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