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Breadbfra

Breadbfra

Specialist
Jul 16, 2020
374
I may be in panic right now but I can't do it with covid. I can't stand seeing my country go bankrupt, people killing themselves over having covid, my father is severely depressed and paranoid due to it. Fuck my dreams to be married, having children and so on.
My parents and my gf will eventually get over it.
Does a shitton of antidepressants and alcohol work? I can't jump (they put protective spaces to all the briges around here), no possible hanging places near me, erc. I have lithium, SMS, SSRI, everything, I need suggestions.
 
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LonelyNick

LonelyNick

They/Them, He/Him
Jul 15, 2020
262
Shallow water seems very deadly and is doable anywhere!
 
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Deleted member 19654

Deleted member 19654

Working towards recovery.
Jul 9, 2020
1,628
Hey Bread, I know covid is causing a lot of chaos and it's making me depressed too. I wouldn't recommend taking a lot of antidepressants with alcohol. It's not reliable and you're more likely to make yourself ill rather than succeed with ctb.

Your in a state of panic right now. I don't want you to hurt yourself by doing something impulsive.
 
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Breadbfra

Breadbfra

Specialist
Jul 16, 2020
374
Hey Bread, I know covid is causing a lot of chaos and it's making me depressed too. I wouldn't recommend taking a lot of antidepressants with alcohol. It's not reliable and you're more likely to make yourself ill rather than succeed with ctb.
How are so many people successful with it? I know it's not reliable, but maybe with a discrete amount of of both of them I could do it...ffs I can't do the SN method either
Nope. Look the link, this is very fatal but requires being able to hyperventilate

Thanks a lot!!
 
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Ghost2211

Archangel
Jan 20, 2020
6,024
Unreliable, and potential very uncomfortable.
 
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Breadbfra

Breadbfra

Specialist
Jul 16, 2020
374
Gotta try full suspension or long drop hanging. Don't know where honestly. Also my mother in law died by hanging I don't want my girlfriend to feel that pain again even on the method
 
MiseryLovesMyCompany

MiseryLovesMyCompany

Arcanist
Oct 8, 2020
482
Trying to CTB on impulse can potentially do more harm to you as it will more than likely result in a failure, but might leave you worse off than you were before the attempt. I know that it is really hard to control yourself when you are really distressed, but right now the only thing you should focus on is calming down. When you succeed with that you will be able to plan a CTB more effectively or even have a change of heart.
You can take some benzos to achieve that just don't try to OD on them.
 
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Ghost2211

Archangel
Jan 20, 2020
6,024
Gotta try full hanging. Don't know where honestly.
I know in fist post you said hanging wasn't an option due to location. Did you mean full? Partial has much less strength requirements for anchor point
 
MiseryLovesMyCompany

MiseryLovesMyCompany

Arcanist
Oct 8, 2020
482
Partial has much less strength requirements for anchor point
Also, it is less painful while being less reliable. A perfect method just doesn't exist.
Except for N, though it is like a fairy tale for most.
 
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Breadbfra

Breadbfra

Specialist
Jul 16, 2020
374
I know in fist post you said hanging wasn't an option due to location. Did you mean full? Partial has much less strength requirements for anchor point
I don't want to ctb at home honestly, where reliable anchor points are placed. I didn't make myself clear enough in the post, sorry.
I meant I have to find another place outside to hang.
 
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Ghost2211

Archangel
Jan 20, 2020
6,024
I don't want to ctb at home honestly, where reliable anchor points are placed. I didn't make myself clear enough in the post, sorry.
I meant I have to find another place outside to hang.
I see, that does complicate things a bit. I would think outside the box in that case and go for a lot of walks around the neighborhood.
 
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Breadbfra

Breadbfra

Specialist
Jul 16, 2020
374
I see, that does complicate things a bit. I would think outside the box in that case and go for a lot of walks around the neighborhood.
I don't have a neighborhood unluckily, we literally live in the middle of nowhere...i was thinking of a wood idk but the only I know are near roads and I don't want to scare people idk. Why has it to be so hard I just want this pain to go away
 
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Ghost2211

Archangel
Jan 20, 2020
6,024
I don't have a neighborhood unluckily, we literally live in the middle of nowhere...i was thinking of a wood idk but the only I know are near roads and I don't want to scare people idk. Why has it to be so hard I just want this pain to go away
Nature provides a lot of options like trees and bushes. Deep rooted plants are plenty strong. I am sorry it's come to all this, and it must be wildly frustrating having to troubleshoot a peaceful exit so much.
 
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Breadbfra

Breadbfra

Specialist
Jul 16, 2020
374
Nature provides a lot of options like trees and bushes. Deep rooted plants are plenty strong. I am sorry it's come to all this, and it must be wildly frustrating having to troubleshoot a peaceful exit so much.
Going around this evening.
 
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Mm80

Mm80

Enlightened
May 15, 2019
1,604
I may be in panic right now but I can't do it with covid. I can't stand seeing my country go bankrupt, people killing themselves over having covid, my father is severely depressed and paranoid due to it. Fuck my dreams to be married, having children and so on.
My parents and my gf will eventually get over it.
Does a shitton of antidepressants and alcohol work? I can't jump (they put protective spaces to all the briges around here), no possible hanging places near me, erc. I have lithium, SMS, SSRI, everything, I need suggestions.
Im sorry to say it and im not trying to patronise but i dont think your in the right headspace to ctb. Id imagine your mind is racing and your in despair. I read about your dad and it was heartbreaking to read.
Its your choice though and i hope you your current feelings ease somehow. Here if you want to vent. Like max said earlier on, this pandemic is fucking a lot of people up. Your not on your own with that ❤
 
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Breadbfra

Breadbfra

Specialist
Jul 16, 2020
374
Im sorry to say it and im not trying to patronise but i dont think your in the right headspace to ctb. Id imagine your mind is racing and your in despair. I read about your dad and it was heartbreaking to read.
Its your choice though and i hope you your current feelings ease somehow. Here if you want to vent. Like max said earlier on, this pandemic is fucking a lot of people up. Your not on your own with that ❤
Thanks a lot. I'm really in the worst pain ever right now. I've been trying for my girlfriend and my parents, I'm an only child and my gf lost her mother due to suicide almost three years ago, what kind of monster gives another time this kind of pain to someone else. I'm in too fucking pain to be exhisting, I can't take this anymore.
I guess I'm gonna black out for a night on pills, whatever happens I'll be out of pain for a while
 
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G

Ghost2211

Archangel
Jan 20, 2020
6,024
Thanks a lot. I'm really in the worst pain ever right now. I've been trying for my girlfriend and my parents, I'm an only child and my gf lost her mother due to suicide almost three years ago, what kind of monster gives another time this kind of pain to someone else. I'm in too fucking pain to be exhisting, I can't take this anymore.
I guess I'm gonna black out for a night on pills, whatever happens I'll be out of pain for a while
Keep chatting with me if you like dear. I'll keep you laughing. Maybe it will give you a bit of a break at least.
 
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Mm80

Mm80

Enlightened
May 15, 2019
1,604
Thanks a lot. I'm really in the worst pain ever right now. I've been trying for my girlfriend and my parents, I'm an only child and my gf lost her mother due to suicide almost three years ago, what kind of monster gives another time this kind of pain to someone else. I'm in too fucking pain to be exhisting, I can't take this anymore.
I guess I'm gonna black out for a night on pills, whatever happens I'll be out of pain for a while
I wouldnt encourage self harm but maybe one non fatal escape from reality for a night will help you. I get drunk lol.
Id imagine your exhausted atm.
Your not a monster to be thinking how you are. Youre struggling yourself. You dont have to rush into these things. I joined over a year and a half ago when actively suicidal and my sorry arse is still here. Take it easy tonight brother.
 
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Breadbfra

Breadbfra

Specialist
Jul 16, 2020
374
Bought my SN right now. I'll figure out somehow to fast.
 
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MiseryLovesMyCompany

MiseryLovesMyCompany

Arcanist
Oct 8, 2020
482
Having it might bring some comfort as well.
Absolutely! Although ever since I got it I get this urge to just make a SN drink and get this over with. I want to experience the feeling, though I might have gone crazy.
 
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Ghost2211

Archangel
Jan 20, 2020
6,024
Absolutely! Although ever since I got it I get this urge to just make a SN drink and get this over with. I want to experience the feeling, though I might have gone crazy.
It increased impulsiveness for me at first as well, but over time it became a security blanket.
 
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