needleinthehay
circling the drain
- Feb 9, 2023
- 11
I can't even leave the house anymore without this overwhelming sense of fear and panic overtaking me. I went to see a musical with some family tonight because my dad bought tickets before realizing he'd be out of town and he gave his ticket to me. I would've bailed (especially given how hungover I am today) but I'd feel bad wasting his money and didn't wanna deal with the fallout. Halfway through the show I literally started sweating from how bad I was panicking and wanting to get out of there so bad but I got a ride from my family member so I couldn't just go home and we were in the middle of the row of seats so I couldn't up and leave unnoticed. I'm finally home now and thinking about how much of a useless freak I am makes me wanna end it even sooner. PTSD has fucked up my life so bad and I feel like a broken person.