Aging

[Weather]

Oddly, one thing that I've apparently gotten from my time here -- writing my thoughts rather than just letting them pass and settle -- is how foundational poetry has been to the way I think. It turns out, lines from poems run through my mind all the time...

Now the long freight of autumn goes smoking out of the land.​

My possibles are all packed up, but still I do not leave.​

It's from a Thomas McGrath poem. But I complain and worry about getting older all the time. I hate aging. And while I understand the physical disappointments, it's really the idea of the abandoned possible that kills me. There just aren't the opportunities to be the person you wanted to be anymore. It's too late. Everything is what it is. Nothing can be fixed, little can be changed. I hate being older and seeing all the shut doors behind me that I'll never open, while all the doors ahead of me are predictable, banal, one-by-one in a straight line.

I don't know if any of the other old folks (you know, 35+) feel this way... but it just... aches. And yet, here we are. Can there be anything to hope for anymore?

 

[Peachycherry]

Oh God I'm 18 and I already feel this way. I feel like the best days of my life are behind me, I look back when I was an innocent child and I've never been able to get as happy as I was back then again. There isn't much in the future other than living for the heck of it, without a true purpose and just going through the motions. I would rather die young than look back in 20 years and contemplate on how my feelings haven't changed all that time, I think waiting for something to happen is useless unless you're really ready to turn your life around. I may be young but I think I can understand the feeling, you're not alone.

 

[Deleted member 23374]

Well, it's not all bad, my nephew feels like he's helping the old folks so heavy stuff to lift, hey kid
shovling snow, hey kid
getting rid of leftovers, hey kid.

Hope in small doses maybe
I'm doing something that OnlineCelloCoach calls deep practice
and it does work, i think the improvement in me is slow
but it's keeping me going.

i think it's the door to any sort of academic experience being forever closed that makes me twitch.

 

[Jon86]

I've aged horribly, despite staying 'in shape' with abs, dieting, exercise, doctors, pills etc. Tons of health problems starting around 13, 20+ years on my life only ever gets worse and my health along with it, I have no control, i'm isolated, sick and alone.

Life was simple when I had my health, everything was straightforward, when I lost it, everything was difficult, I stopped living, my life was dedicated to getting my health back so I could live again, it never happened. To be sick, diseased and unwanted in the prime of your life is fucking horrible.

 

[Donk]

hey OPs I feel ya. I'm in my 40s also feels like all doors are closed for me at this age. I would love to start a new career but I feel like its too late. Besides I don't have the money or energy to study again. The mind ain't as sharp as before.

 

[Sensei]

I don't know if any of the other old folks (you know, 35+) feel this way...

You think 35 is old? You do know that the average lifespan for people in the Western world is 80+, don't you?

I'm in my 40s also feels like all doors are closed for me at this age.

I'm in my 40s too. I wouldn't say that all doors are closed. Some are, but some can still be opened, although it's damn hard. An even bigger problem, at least for me, is that the pressure to conform increases the older you get. If you don't live an ordinary life, you're an oddball and a failure. Otherwise, getting older doesn't bother me. I'm in better shape than I've ever been, knock on wood, and I'm glad that I've accumulated life experience and knowledge.

 

[Kramer]

Oh God I'm 18 and I already feel this way. I feel like the best days of my life are behind me, I look back when I was an innocent child and I've never been able to get as happy as I was back then again. There isn't much in the future other than living for the heck of it, without a true purpose and just going through the motions. I would rather die young than look back in 20 years and contemplate on how my feelings haven't changed all that time, I think waiting for something to happen is useless unless you're really ready to turn your life around. I may be young but I think I can understand the feeling, you're not alone.

You still have the college experience ahead. I wish I hadn't wasted mine.

 

[awfullife]

I agree with 40s career change. It just doesn't work. I am college educated with a pedigree of experience with fortune 500 companies and I'm unemployable for any job except entry level sales 35k a year. Fucking brutal.

 

[Weather]

You think 35 is old? You do know that the average lifespan for people in the Western world is 80+, don't you?

I don't think that, actually! But, I was thinking of the demographics of this site and figured that was a good number to split those who are among the older set and the younger set. The "you know" was meant to indicate the number was a bit tongue-in-cheek. I can assure you, 35 is in my rear view mirror!

 

[Deleted member 17949]

Time and stuff, hate it when that happens

 

[Deleted member 1465]

Fortune favours the brave, survival is the reward of the cautious, but time fucks us all eventually.

I hate being older. I want to be young again. Whatever little wisdom age may give me seems worthless if I'm no longer young enough to enjoy it.

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

Oh God I'm 18 and I already feel this way. I feel like the best days of my life are behind me, I look back when I was an innocent child and I've never been able to get as happy as I was back then again. There isn't much in the future other than living for the heck of it, without a true purpose and just going through the motions. I would rather die young than look back in 20 years and contemplate on how my feelings haven't changed all that time, I think waiting for something to happen is useless unless you're really ready to turn your life around. I may be young but I think I can understand the feeling, you're not alone.

No at 18 you are actually getting to the best period. Depending how fast you age you will be good until about early 30s. The period you are in now is the best because at least if you do university/career/decent job you will be young and may be able to get a bit independent from the parents. Due to CV19 i know a lot of people are being held up by this but that is how it works generally