Age gaps in relationships / hookup

[Walilamdzi]

What's your opinion?

 

[Despondent]

I don't think there's anything wrong with it depending on how young the one person is. I think there should be boundaries if one person's nineteen years or younger (just my opinion coming from a "teen")

Other than that, if you love someone, age doesn't matter in my opinion :) As long as they're happy and they're in the relationship for the right reasons

 

[nigelhernandez]

I think it's interesting how men are generally older in relationships than their female SO's. I wonder why that is?

 

[serah]

As long as they're both adults I don't see anything wrong with it. Since I could remember, 90% of my crushes on men happened to be with guys 10-20+ years older than myself. Although I must admit I understand why relationships with huge age gaps might have a negative connotation. It's only normal to be taken aback by an 18yr old person dating someone who could be their parent/grandparent.

 

[FusRohDracarys]

Don't like it. Wouldn't do it.

Also, I can't help but wonder, why is the older person interested in someone younger? The larger the age gap or the younger the young partner, the more likely to me it seems to me that the older partner is not emotionally mature enough to have a functional relationship with people their own age. To me, that's a red flag, but I suppose that depends on your relationship values and is moot in hookups. Granted, it could also be that the younger partner is too mature for their own age group, which seems less likely to me but also seems to be cited as the most common reason, from my observations.

 

[Myforevercharlie]

I don't really care about age, as long as he's an adult and well aware of the fact he's not going to get children with me.
Im pretty childish, so a younger man would suit me better anyway.
Or ofcourse an older who isn't that grown-up :)

 

[xalltoowell]

I prefer much older men myself, so I see no problem with age gaps. The exception being when teenagers are involved.

 

[Worthless_nobody]

I have been in mostly age gap relationships my whole life. My ex fiance who passed (not of old age but suddenly) was older than me. I don't understand why people accept every other form of relationships but an age gap relationship is "gross" or "creepy" taboo or unacceptable to people. 2 fully consenting adults not a minor obviously. Age shouldn't define love. Love is love. What MATTERS is how your treated in the relationship and are the people happy. It actually rather saddens me because every other relationship type has a protected status or is respected but age gaps are still "creepy". Some people like myself just don't have anything in common with people my own age and there is absolutely nothing wrong with it.

 

[BPD Barbie]

I prefer older men myself so age gaps aren't that big of an issue for me. As long as both parties are of legal age and consenting, I don't see the problem with it. Love is love.

 

[strand]

I wouldn't do it, I find it weird, I agree with FusRohDracarys' post. But as long as one person is not a minor or early-20s then it's fine I guess generally speaking. (early-20s is kind of a hot take, I know young adults are legally adults, but my experience says that they shouldn't have relationships with older adults)

 

[I’mDone]

Generally I feel that age is just a number but if the younger person is only just over 18 I think caution is needed. There's a much wider gap in maturity and life experience between an 18 and 28 year old for example, then there is between a 28 and 38 year old.

 

[Epsilon0]

I had a friend in college who had a tumultuous affair with our phonetics professor. He was in his 60s and we were in our early 20s.

Both she and he were in other relationships during the affair which lasted for over a year.
It was quite the Woody Allen movie - and I don't mean that in a good way.

Without going into any details, I will just say that, having witnessed how their relationship began and evolved, I think it made them very happy. They had both found in the other person something they craved: he was sexually obsessed with her, and she wanted to escape from the monotony of her own relationship.

They found gratification, companionship and fulfilled some sort of unsatisfied desires. So, the age difference didn't stand in the way of their happiness.

What did stand in their way and eventually lead to the break up, was the web of lies which they spun in order to keep the affair a secret for such a long time.

 

[Lorntroubles]

There's many reasons why it wouldn't work but also depends on the two individuals. A 50 year-old has a different world view than a 25 year-old (usually). A 3, 4, 5 year age difference seems typical. Normally, it's not my thing similarly to how I usually relate to people within my age group. I was in a relationship with someone a decade older and they were a big kid at heart with the biggest heart I know and lots of people said they looked younger so I was fooled when we first met and had a cow when I found out their age. But they lied so I wouldn't leave but the love grew so that's that. Lying about age is a red flag but that relationship was the best I ever had. Still, don't lie about little stuff, kids. Unless you weirdly want to :)

 

[HelensNepenthe]

Pursuing a relationship where someone could have fathered/mothered said significant other is creepy. I'd also venture to say that power dynamics also are a concern. The discrepancy of age teeter-totters. When someone is 23 dating a 18 year old right out of highschool, I bat an eye at their relationship regardless of gender they identify with. Differences in age such as 40 years old and 35 years old is not significant to be creepy.

 

[Arrow]

if they're both adults i have no problem with it.

 

[Walilamdzi]

Interesting to see different viewpoints!

 

[pete_x]

My first boyfriend was 30 years older than me. My last girlfriend was 15 years older than me. Physicality is truly a flimsy bullshit standard to base a relationship on.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

I don´t care at all about age gab or age of consent for that matter

 

[woxihuanni]

When there is a big gap, there is always the danger that the older party is looking for someone to easily manipulate.