After yesterday's videos how we doing?

[NotStrongEnough]

Is everyone ok? I started thinking about it last night for the first time in a while. that video showed me exactly what people think of us, and how little they actually care about the people who are truly hurting.

I have never once told anyone to kill themselves. and with very few exceptions, I've never seen anyone else do it either. I am not in a cult. What I am in, is pain. Constant emotional pain. And they choose to ignore that.

I believe he and everyone who refuses to listen to suicidal people are evil. I have no other way to put it. They don't care about us, they care about feeling self righteous. They pretend to care about the people. But they don't. they just want to pretend that if we just got help, we'd be fine. For some of us, there isn't help. And more than one mental health professional has told me that this brain isn't going to change.

You know what's funny? The lurkers, the evil people who are here from that video, they won't read this. and if they do, they will just push it away from their minds and instead choose to give in to their confirmation bias. They don't want to hear us, they want us to shut up so they don't have to feel bad.

Sorry lurkers, but since you won't listen to me, and my struggles, I have nothing but contempt for you. You don't care about us. You care about a lie, an outright lie at that.

If you're saddened by what you read here, GOOD! That little pain you feel right now? Multiply that and then feel in your soul that feeling for the rest of your life. because thats what we feel day in and day out. I know you don't care though, which is what makes you evil. You are bad people masquerading as crusaders.

Go look around. Actually read what people say. You won't find many posts encouraging anyone to off themselves. But see, if you admitted that, you'd then have to admit that we aren't all evil. And we aren't a cult. We're just people trying to get by in life as best as we can. Just like you. Except sometimes, some of us can't handle that pain I explained earlier. You're lucky. You don't have that pain. You're wrong. Dead wrong. And I mean that explicitly. You people have pushed me closer to killing myself in the last 24 hours than I've been in the past year, including while I've been posting on this forum.

Evil. All of you.

 

[throwaway3246539]

they will never understand true pain. they ll never understand this forum is not some kind of sick joke for us, but the only safe space most of us have access to. the only place to talk to like-minded people without feeling like a freak or without having to worry about being put in a ward. they ll never be smart enough to understand that dying is in fact a human right and everyone should have full autonomy over their own fucking bodies

 

[Ghostofthepast]

Is everyone ok? I started thinking about it last night for the first time in a while. that video showed me exactly what people think of us, and how little they actually care about the people who are truly hurting.

I have never once told anyone to kill themselves. and with very few exceptions, I've never seen anyone else do it either. I am not in a cult. What I am in, is pain. Constant emotional pain. And they choose to ignore that.

I believe he and everyone who refuses to listen to suicidal people are evil. I have no other way to put it. They don't care about us, they care about feeling self righteous. They pretend to care about the people. But they don't. they just want to pretend that if we just got help, we'd be fine. For some of us, there isn't help. And more than one mental health professional has told me that this brain isn't going to change.

You know what's funny? The lurkers, the evil people who are here from that video, they won't read this. and if they do, they will just push it away from their minds and instead choose to give in to their confirmation bias. They don't want to hear us, they want us to shut up so they don't have to feel bad.

Sorry lurkers, but since you won't listen to me, and my struggles, I have nothing but contempt for you. You don't care about us. You care about a lie, an outright lie at that.

If you're saddened by what you read here, GOOD! That little pain you feel right now? Multiply that and then feel in your soul that feeling for the rest of your life. because thats what we feel day in and day out. I know you don't care though, which is what makes you evil. You are bad people masquerading as crusaders.

Go look around. Actually read what people say. You won't find many posts encouraging anyone to off themselves. But see, if you admitted that, you'd then have to admit that we aren't all evil. And we aren't a cult. We're just people trying to get by in life as best as we can. Just like you. Except sometimes, some of us can't handle that pain I explained earlier. You're lucky. You don't have that pain. You're wrong. Dead wrong. And I mean that explicitly. You people have pushed me closer to killing myself in the last 24 hours than I've been in the past year, including while I've been posting on this forum.

Evil. All of you.

Not doing well honestly feeling so insecure now that these kind of people will fight tooth and nail to find out who we are behind these accounts and then lock us all up

 

[CowsAgainstCapitali]

They got exactly what they wanted and this site has suffered for it. SS is no longer a safe, uncensored place. It was fun while it lasted.

Our weak mods have given in. SS has been infiltrated. That's what happens when you're not vigilant. Thanks for that.

 

[Lynx.]

The only thing that worries me is the impact on the members of this website; I don't want this site to feel like a zoo where people come to watch suicidal people - the lurkers are now at an all time high, and I can see how someone can be uncomfortable with that amount of people watching and judging.

The situation doesn't make me feel anything more than that; there's no anger, frustration or resentment towards them, I'm just worried for how it might affect people like yourself.

The reason why I'm not angry at them is because it is business as usual on this world - they have always viewed us as broken toys who need guidance as they feel we cannot be trusted with our own decisions, and they think they can save most of us, if it was not for the influence of the 'evil people' of this site who coerce us into killing ourselves - which is something untrue and highly dishonest.

I've always drawn comfort from the words of Ray Brassier on the opening pages of Thomas Ligotti's The Conspiracy Against the Human Race, which goes like this:

"We know what verdict is reserved for those foolhardy enough to dissent from the common conviction according to which "being alive is all right," to borrow an insistent phrase from the volume at hand. Disputants of the normative buoyancy of our race can expect to be chastised for their ingratitude, upbraided for their cowardice, patronized for their shallowness. Where self-love provides the indubitable index of psychic health, its default can only ever be seen as a symptom of psychic debility. Philosophy, which once disdained opinion, becomes craven when the opinion in question is whether or not being alive is all right. Suitably ennobled by the epithet "tragic," the approbation of life is immunized against the charge of complacency and those who denigrate it condemned as ingrates."

Don't look to much into it and don't mind the lies, this community has been through things like these a lot of times before; vile accusations without any basis are the norm, it seems. So, whatever.

Hugs to you and all of the community. I hope this show passes soon.

 

[neoyokio]

These lurkers/people against this site are filled with fear. They want to assure themselves that not wanting to live is a pathology, or the result of a malevolent force, because they don't want to confront their own life or lives of their loved ones could be so painful it would be sane and merciful to choose an exit. Without experience they lack empathy and make it their crusade to "save" people. But it's all just an attempt to assuage their own fears.

 

[GrizzlyGrapefruit]

I'm frustrated.

Tried sharing my experience with the site and how the people here, back in 2019, are the ones who talked me out of a suicide attempt, and they removed my comment. It's absolutely true that they aren't looking for a genuine view on the site, they're looking to capitalize on it. They're looking to capitalize on our suffering to get views (Tantacrul himself -- he's sickening. He's done nothing but profit off of this video).

 

[WhiteRabbit]

As long as the site doesn't get shut down, I don't really care. There have always been lurkers here.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

There were so many lies and distortions in that video I found it difficult to take seriously.

These people always have an ulterior motive, in his case building his channel. For 'tubers growing in popularity, there is a great money-making PR-based formula they can adhere to as far as content creation. It goes something like this:

Monetized video x5
Unmonetized, I-care-so-much video built for cross-promotional purposes 1x
Monetized video 5x

There should be some type of law against these leeches who make money off the back of non-profits like SS. It doesn't matter if it's a video maker or a NYT journalist, this place is just a goldmine of dirt they can use to further their own projects.

Frankly nauseating, and not worth giving any additional attention to.

 

[NoHorizon]

That's really kind of you to do a check-in thread. This mess is the last thing any of us need. Hope everyone is OK.

Honestly I feel pretty bad. The video has got to me and despite finding the forum really helpful I'm now questioning whether I'm actually just a terrible person, and on top of this thousands of people are watching us like we're a fucking zoo.

I'm so tired of the stigma and this situation shows just what people really think of suicidal people. We're dangerous, psychopathic freaks and we need to be silenced.

 

[ShatteredQueen]

Firstly, it is true what everyone says: many people can never and will never understand what it's like to live this way. They want to think it's a choice, that we can simply decide to be happy, because that's so much more comfortable than admitting that sometimes the pain of what we deal with can become so horrible that suicide really is the right choice. They want to keep things stuffed into tidy little boxes--Normalcy equates Good, Suicide equates Bad--so that they don't have to think for themselves or admit that life is complicated and scary.

I know not all of us deal with Clinical Depression, but for those, like me, who do it can be especially frustrating. If someone dies from Cancer or something, people say they "fought so hard" and "were so brave." When your own mind tries to kill you? Then suddenly people don't see the daily battles. No one wants to acknowledge the fact that there is something physically affecting the way our brains function. Instead, they say we're merely being dramatic and we need to get over it. They don't recognize that Depression is an incurable chronic health concern and sometimes it proves terminal. They want to shame us, try to keep us from seeking ways to cope with Depression, If someone had Cancer society wouldn't shame them for going to a doctor, but for us it's different.

Secondly, I think we can all agree lurkers of that sort are just the latest incarnation of the evil monsters we've all dealt with all our lives. From the parental figures who thought they could punish us into wanting to live to the school bullies who tried to drive us closer to the edge through their petty cruelties, ostracization, and violence, it's always been the same story, hasn't it? We are the Strangelings, the Outsiders, the Other Ones, and we are either the shadows others would prefer to pretend away or the unprotected oddballs who others feel safe using for the hateful "entertainment" humans crave. (After all, we no longer have Roman-style colosseum fights or public executions, so how else, they wordlessly ask, are they supposed to fulfill their hunger for watching people suffer?) That's what this really comes down to. People are the real monsters and they enjoy watching others in pain. Nothing pleases them more.

But it's not hopeless! That's the most important thing to remember! It's not hopeless because, as much as They have tried to make us feel like worthless freaks, they have failed. We have one another. We are not alone. And you know what? WE ARE THE STRONG ONES. We have survived everything from society to our own brains trying to kill us. We face agony and darkness every day, again and again, that would snap any of those "Normal" people like helpless little twigs. We can feel the deepest Hell of rage and misery, yes, but that capacity to feel so keenly also means we have the potential to feel far greater joy than any Normie ever will. And we will, because together, we are even stronger. So here's to the fighters, the survivors, the ones who continue to be true to themselves no matter what. HERE'S TO THE STRANGELINGS.

 

[apple2myeye!]

shit. reaoly really shit. came very close to attempting last night and i still feel on the verge of a panic attakc.

the video itself is condescending enough but then you look in thge commetns and iut['ps just so fucking awful all of it's awful all of the commenters are awful horrendous beings. "triggered" this, "incel" that, "seek help", "it gets better", the whole reddit dictionary. you've also got the occasional yaldabaoth worshipper Who tinks all suicidal people are evil demons who are going to the eternal flaming rape chambver when they diel; can't get rid of THOSE comments though that'd be stochastic encouraygenment of suicide right guys lol. "stochastic suicide encouragement" definitely wouldnbt be threatening to get suicidal people's only safe space taken off the internet right guys lolollll

i think the comments that really raelly get to me are the ones comparing us to places like kiwi farms or stormfront (usually by saying we're EVEN WORSE than both of those two sites). thanks for confirming my suspicions that most of hte population think of people like us as the lowest fucking scum around, even worse than literal gangstalkers and nazis. and here i was thinking maybe my "paranoid delusions" were actually "delusions" this time!!! they never fucking are lol, i just tend to have very good hunches.

i doubt anything's actually gonna happehn to the site but it's nice to be reminded of what people really think of me once and a while. i am apoparently supposed to feel bad about wanting to leave this fucking shithole darwinist yaldaboath reddit earth behind with that knowledge in mind lol. what a fucking joke.

eat shit, tantacrul.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Makes me upset. Drives home just how raw a deal I got because that guy and all the commenters make it clear how foreign these feelings and experiences are to them and to wider society.

 

[ShatteredQueen]

That's really kind of you to do a check-in thread. This mess is the last thing any of us need. Hope everyone is OK.

Honestly I feel pretty bad. The video has got to me and despite finding the forum really helpful I'm now questioning whether I'm actually just a terrible person, and on top of this thousands of people are watching us like we're a fucking zoo.

I'm so tired of the stigma and this situation shows just what people really think of suicidal people. We're dangerous, psychopathic freaks and we need to be silenced.

You're not a terrible person. The ones who try to make us feel like broken toys are the monsters, not us. You are struggling to deal with a heavy burden, and even though it's difficult, you are still succeeding. There's no shame in that. Quite the opposite. I want you to know that I applaud you doing your best everyday and that, no matter what any of the monsters say, you are enough.

 

[ready to go....]

Pissed off.

We have all been categorised as an evil cult that encourages ctb, which is completely untrue.

He pin pointed one member in particular who has posted, and still posts questionable and odd replies, and shoved us all under the same umbrella that were all the same, which is absolute bullshit. I personally find their replies to people very odd and disturbing.

He clearly hasn't researched this forum to the full extend, as failed to mention the positives, such as recovering, or members seeking recovering, forum games, support and someone willing to listen.

With the way his video has been done, and how he described this forum to those pro lifers, it's given them fuel to try and take away the one place most of us feel comfortable and safe. Visiting this forum comforts me, knowing someone is always there to listen, and someone who understands.

They don't care why people have been drawn to this forum, otherwise he would of reached out to members whilst doing his 'research'. He's basically proven that people don't give a fuck about those struggling, only highlighting when someone does ctb.

So yeah, in general, pretty fucking annoyed.

 

[Lavender Dreams]

Mildly irritated that they're threatening to shut down a place I've grown fond of, yet amused, if anything. I wouldn't take someone seriously if they need to blatantly lie to gain more shock value. They can think what they want, there is no shortage of ignorant individuals who have crossed our paths in real life. That's why we ended up here, no open conversation to be had.

Something to be kept in mind is that there is a recent rising trend to cancel anything and anyone that doesn't follow the mainstream-dictated narrative, except this usually doesn't last very long, because it's driven by kids (presumably younger gen Z) with attention span so short they move on to cancel the next "toxic" thing before they're even remotely successful with the first.

It all falls back to the basics - proof read what you share, refrain from revealing too much personal information, review the privacy settings on your socials and stay safe.

 

[hellispink]

It makes me very angry honestly. So much attacking and hypocrisy is just sad. Aside from dealing with our own shit and demons, we also have to worry about these mfckers lurking and talking sht

 

[SweetSacrifice]

I have only just found SS and I am so very angry on behalf of all of you for the way you have been portrayed. It seems to me a safe place where people can be their true selves without having to pretend. Not one of the posts I have read seems to be encouraging anyone to CTB, just accepting of the decision that has been made whilst giving advice to make that easier on that person. People post here because they want non judgemental advice. If it were such a dangerous cult then people who weren't suicidal would want to CTB after being a part of the community. I am not currently suicidal but suffer depression and have wanted to CTB in the past. If I want help with my mental health, I'll post on a different forum. If I've decided to CTB, it's my decision, and I will post about it here.

 

[Rainy_days]

Has something actually happened that I am missing? I don't care to watch a video with tired opinions I've heard 1000x before... why is it such a big deal?

 

[SamTam33]

I definitely identify with the sentiment of feeling more suicidal than ever.

The whole situation reminds me of what I'm trying to escape. I want to be as far away from THAT as possible.

I don't want to breathe the same air as that.

It's very similar to the feeling I get when experiencing or witnessing racism.

The exact same parts of my psyche are triggered and I feel nothing but pure, white-hot hatred for the perpetrators.

I get this overwhelming desire to literally remove myself from the equation.

When something makes you so angry you'd rather die than live and experience it again.

 

[NHLTradeRumor]

It kinda pissed me off, and did make me even more adamant about my decision to CTB, as it shows how little people actually care and know about us.

 

[Winry]

Is everyone ok? I started thinking about it last night for the first time in a while. that video showed me exactly what people think of us, and how little they actually care about the people who are truly hurting.

I have never once told anyone to kill themselves. and with very few exceptions, I've never seen anyone else do it either. I am not in a cult. What I am in, is pain. Constant emotional pain. And they choose to ignore that.

I believe he and everyone who refuses to listen to suicidal people are evil. I have no other way to put it. They don't care about us, they care about feeling self righteous. They pretend to care about the people. But they don't. they just want to pretend that if we just got help, we'd be fine. For some of us, there isn't help. And more than one mental health professional has told me that this brain isn't going to change.

You know what's funny? The lurkers, the evil people who are here from that video, they won't read this. and if they do, they will just push it away from their minds and instead choose to give in to their confirmation bias. They don't want to hear us, they want us to shut up so they don't have to feel bad.

Sorry lurkers, but since you won't listen to me, and my struggles, I have nothing but contempt for you. You don't care about us. You care about a lie, an outright lie at that.

If you're saddened by what you read here, GOOD! That little pain you feel right now? Multiply that and then feel in your soul that feeling for the rest of your life. because thats what we feel day in and day out. I know you don't care though, which is what makes you evil. You are bad people masquerading as crusaders.

Go look around. Actually read what people say. You won't find many posts encouraging anyone to off themselves. But see, if you admitted that, you'd then have to admit that we aren't all evil. And we aren't a cult. We're just people trying to get by in life as best as we can. Just like you. Except sometimes, some of us can't handle that pain I explained earlier. You're lucky. You don't have that pain. You're wrong. Dead wrong. And I mean that explicitly. You people have pushed me closer to killing myself in the last 24 hours than I've been in the past year, including while I've been posting on this forum.

Evil. All of you.

I've been panicking that the site will get shut down. This is the ONLY place I can go to share my thoughts. Do you think that people irl want to hear me talk about my suicidal thoughts? No. And even if they say they do, it clearly makes them uncomfortable and I'm at risk of being hospitalized. This is the only supportive place I have found in years of searching for a community I feel comfortable in. No one is encouraging me to CTB. Everybody is just supporting me in making MY OWN DECISIONS. Fuuuuuck pro lifers. They can't just mind their own business and let us alone. It's evil the way they treat us, like we're murderers.

 

[ryo the frog]

Not doing well honestly feeling so insecure now that these kind of people will fight tooth and nail to find out who we are behind these accounts and then lock us all up

wouldn't mind being prison buddies.

 

[Lavander 230]

I'm sorry, but which video are you talking about?

 

[HerculePoirot]

I'm sorry, but which video are you talking about?

Wondering too. Maybe Tantacrul's?

 

[Per Ardua Ad Astra]

Wondering too. Maybe Tantacrul's?

Yes his video

 

[Ghostofthepast]

wouldn't mind being prison buddies.

I'm just over life tbh people just don't see the pain I'm in or will ever understand it

 

[Lavander 230]

Yes his video

Wondering too. Maybe Tantacrul's?

Ignore him.

1st of all he's a youtuber. Why the heck would you trust someone who makes clickbait content for the living? The more we rant here or complsin, the more money he will make. In this case the best thing you could do is to pretend that this person you're talking about doesn't even exist, end of story.

 

[HerculePoirot]

Ignore him.

1st of all he's a youtuber.

Yes, sorry, I know that. I was just suggesting factual info. Of course I ignore that youtuber.

 

[Lavander 230]

Yes, sorry, I know that. I was just suggesting factual info. Of course I ignore that youtuber.

every reply you make here he'll definitely take a screenshot and use it on his next video. It's so pathetic omg.