Discussion Afraid

[supergip]

Some time ago, it was said that dying is not ceasing to exist physically, but rather ceasing to exist in people, that is, within people. When people still remember you, you are still alive. And I realized that I am not afraid of dying physically, but I am afraid of people stopping to remember me.
I also realized that I don't think people will remember me or care about me while I'm alive, and that's why I think I'm afraid because if I'm alive, I already don't have that, and if I'm dead, I'll have even less.

 

[bluebus]

Your feelings are completely normal and reasonable. The idea of not existing is already pretty daunting, but the idea of it being like you never had existed (no one there and nothing left to remember you by) is even more so. But think about is this way: even if you lived to be in your 80/90s, eventually you will be forgotten (unless you become super famous or something). There will come a time for everyone, in the more near future than we think, that we will cease to be remembered. Try to take some comfort in that. Just like death itself is inevitable, being forgotten is inevitable too (unless you're like Beatles or something lol).
Maybe try to make some lasting impressions on people. Even if it's just going out of your way to do something nice for them or to help them. People remember that most of all. It might not be a solution (I wish I had one to offer), but it might ease some of your anguish and worries. I'm really sorry that you are struggling with this. I hope you can find comfort and peace somewhere. All the best, bb

 

[supergip]

Your feelings are completely normal and reasonable. The idea of not existing is already pretty daunting, but the idea of it being like you never had existed (no one there and nothing left to remember you by) is even more so. But think about is this way: even if you lived to be in your 80/90s, eventually you will be forgotten (unless you become super famous or something). There will come a time for everyone, in the more near future than we think, that we will cease to be remembered. Try to take some comfort in that. Just like death itself is inevitable, being forgotten is inevitable too (unless you're like Beatles or something lol).
Maybe try to make some lasting impressions on people. Even if it's just going out of your way to do something nice for them or to help them. People remember that most of all. It might not be a solution (I wish I had one to offer), but it might ease some of your anguish and worries. I'm really sorry that you are struggling with this. I hope you can find comfort and peace somewhere. All the best, bb

True, I never really thought about it that way, I mean, I did think about it but not in the same sense as death itself, like you said, ceasing to exist in people's minds is inevitable just like death, and it's really true. You've helped me a lot, and the part about people caring about when you help and all that, it's not exactly like that.
Like, I help people as a favor, not charity, you know? And I don't think it's like that. After a while, most of my, in quotes, friends, who I thought were my friends, would just ask me for favors and that was it. I ended a friendship that I loved, well, kind of loved, and that was basically it. They would ask me for a favor and then stop talking to me.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Maybe this poem will help:

"
I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desart.[d]​ Near them, on the sand,
Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown,
And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed:
And on the pedestal these words appear:
"My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away."

 

[FuneralCry]

I personally find the thought of being forgotten about to be something comforting, and it isn't like those who no longer exist can have any concerns, they cannot suffer and nothing can matter to them, they will just cease to be. I bet that eventually most of us won't even exist in the memories of those who continue to stay here.

 

[bluebus]

True, I never really thought about it that way, I mean, I did think about it but not in the same sense as death itself, like you said, ceasing to exist in people's minds is inevitable just like death, and it's really true. You've helped me a lot, and the part about people caring about when you help and all that, it's not exactly like that.
Like, I help people as a favor, not charity, you know? And I don't think it's like that. After a while, most of my, in quotes, friends, who I thought were my friends, would just ask me for favors and that was it. I ended a friendship that I loved, well, kind of loved, and that was basically it. They would ask me for a favor and then stop talking to me.

I can totally get how my opinion might not be shared by many here. And I totally get where you're coming from. People can be so horrible and cruel and selfish. Those people don't sound like real friends- you're better off without people like that in your life. That's really not fair to have to go through, and I'm sorry that you had to. I'm glad my first words were able to help you see things in a different way. I really hope things can get better for you, but if not, I hope you can find peace somewhere else. Good luck and all the best,