Venting Afraid to be Relevant Again

[HGL91]

I'm trying to become a part of society again. As in, not just an almost, 28-year-old suicidal woman living at her mom's house.

I'm truthfully afraid. Before I moved back to my mom's, I felt so overwhelmed by my failures. I'm so scared to get back into the real world.

But I also find my survival instinct makes it hard to CTB. That, and the fact my mom and extended family members have showed me they care about me. Also, I've been talking to my ex-boyfriend that I lived with for almost 3 years before breaking up with him and moving, and he may now just be my long distance boyfriend, since we're talking again.

I should have CTB when I first got to my mom's house. I was so motivated then. Now time has passed for me to heal, forget parts of the trauma, and I'm feeling an urge to try life again, but deep down, I know I'm gonna regret giving life another chance. :(