advice with a stalker

[themisfell]

So, for three years I had a best friend. Then, about four months ago we had started dating. Then, out of nowhere, my ex broke up with me while I was away from home and immediately went be friends with another ex of mine (who treated both of us like shit). When I was made aware of it, I called them out on it and they proceeded to freak out and block me everywhere. Ever since then though, this person has been obsessively stalking me in every way that they can, whether it be asking my friends about me or making burners to view my instagram stories. I have very strong issues with paranoia, so that has already been getting under my skin a lot, but it got worse when they took it a step farther and started stalking me in online video games and harassing me. Anytime I've asked them to leave me alone, they get mad and tell me to leave them alone and that they want no contact. I feel like, insane, and I honestly have no clue what to do. It hurts me so much that someone I was so close to is acting this way, and truthfully I believe it might be related to a mental health issue that they have and that they might be having an episode, but it still doesn't justify how they've been treating me. I just don't really know what to do and I feel miserable. I understand that I should probably just get thicker skin and ignore it but like... idk. really hurts like a bitch to see someone I was so close to acting this way, and I just would love advice with either dealing with this situation or coping with it. Thanks for reading.

 

[UsagiDrop]

I had a similar situation that I won't go through just for brevity's sake and also because I think I talked about it on here before. I just want to say that I'm so sorry you're going through something like this. You don't need a thicker skin, harassment is harassment. You're not alone.

Block them on everything. Keep blocking them when you find out they have burners. If you can, it's good to block mutual friends as well, considering that they are the primary source of information on you. Friends that are on your side and will refuse to divulge any information about you when asked are fine, but friends that give you no indication of where they stand are potentially dangerous. When this stuff started happening to me, I started to gradually reduce my activity on all social media platforms except for one. Then, I deleted and remade accounts that were set to private from the start to eliminate the chances of them finding me. I've been dealing with this for five plus years and some things still slip through the cracks sometimes because I'm from a place with a relatively small population. I've moved both within and out of my country and they're still stalking me, unfortunately. It's something that I'm just living with and reacting accordingly to when I find out something new. But it's not as bad as it was before, for sure.

Document every case of them harassing you with screen-names or identifying numbers attached. Keep it in a folder somewhere. If it ever gets to be too much, depending on where you live, you could probably have them charged. Cyberstalking is a crime in some places. Eventually though, they start to get bored or find a new victim and the stalking and harassment begins to trickle out. For now, you're just going to have to get used to ignoring and blocking immediately. Become as uninteresting as possible. Never treat them to a reaction, even if you see them in person. Do the same to any mutual friends or acquaintances that may be ratting you out.

The things that helped me the most were letting go of mutual friends and remaking my social media accounts. Only one of them is attached to my image and name so I post really silly things there or straight up lie, so that nothing sensitive leaks, and even if it does, I have a good idea of who all it could have come from (I don't keep many contacts on anything). On my other accounts I can post more freely, and I've never heard anything leaking from those places. My stalkers still think I'm back home lol but I've been gone for a long while.

I wish you all the best and I hope this problem doesn't persist for you.

 

[themisfell]

I had a similar situation that I won't go through just for brevity's sake and also because I think I talked about it on here before. I just want to say that I'm so sorry you're going through something like this. You don't need a thicker skin, harassment is harassment. You're not alone.

Block them on everything. Keep blocking them when you find out they have burners. If you can, it's good to block mutual friends as well, considering that they are the primary source of information on you. Friends that are on your side and will refuse to divulge any information about you when asked are fine, but friends that give you no indication of where they stand are potentially dangerous. When this stuff started happening to me, I started to gradually reduce my activity on all social media platforms except for one. Then, I deleted and remade accounts that were set to private from the start to eliminate the chances of them finding me. I've been dealing with this for five plus years and some things still slip through the cracks sometimes because I'm from a place with a relatively small population. I've moved both within and out of my country and they're still stalking me, unfortunately. It's something that I'm just living with and reacting accordingly to when I find out something new. But it's not as bad as it was before, for sure.

Document every case of them harassing you with screen-names or identifying numbers attached. Keep it in a folder somewhere. If it ever gets to be too much, depending on where you live, you could probably have them charged. Cyberstalking is a crime in some places. Eventually though, they start to get bored or find a new victim and the stalking and harassment begins to trickle out. For now, you're just going to have to get used to ignoring and blocking immediately. Become as uninteresting as possible. Never treat them to a reaction, even if you see them in person. Do the same to any mutual friends or acquaintances that may be ratting you out.

The things that helped me the most were letting go of mutual friends and remaking my social media accounts. Only one of them is attached to my image and name so I post really silly things there or straight up lie, so that nothing sensitive leaks, and even if it does, I have a good idea of who all it could have come from (I don't keep many contacts on anything). On my other accounts I can post more freely, and I've never heard anything leaking from those places. My stalkers still think I'm back home lol but I've been gone for a long while.

I wish you all the best and I hope this problem doesn't persist for you.

do you mind if I pm you? i feel like this is pretty good advice but i want to explain my situation a bit more but its vaguely like... more personal info and i don't wanna just post it

 

[UsagiDrop]

do you mind if I pm you?

I don't mind, you can PM me whenever you're ready to talk!