Advice on messages to leave for children

[papulin]

I have two young children. I struggle with feeling guilt towards how my suicide might affect them as they grow up; their relationships with others, and what lesson I am leaving them in how to deal with life's adversities.

I believe suicide in my case is highly rational and defensible. I had a sterling career which was publicly destroyed (needlessly) and has left me with no career prospects. Every day/week/month/year has been a feeling of existential despair for many years now. I just can't get over or past it, I was raised to achieve & w/ that taken away I cannot pivot to something else; I feel a ghost or shell of a person. I don't want to go on anymore.

I know a couple of people whose parents committed suicide, and I know it is a great source of pain for them. How can I keep the same from happening to my girls?

 

[PursuitofWonder]

Disclaimer: I am not a parent, I do have some experience with kids and teens who lost people to suicide though. It really depends on their exact age, the younger they are, the more simple you'll have to make it obviously. The main thing I see is that they have a lot of questions about it, and when nobody answers them, they'll draw their own conclusions which can often be more damaging than the truth. Telling them answers and explanations that are not based in fact is also harmful. Make sure there will be someone to answer their questions truthfully and compassionately. Here is a helpful article on what questions they may ask: https://www.camh.ca/en/health-info/guides-and-publications/when-a-parent-dies-by-suicide

 

[Mondsucher]

I don't think that it is possible to kill yourself without making anyone sad. If your kids are young then they probably won't grasp the whole concept of a parent dying but they will realize over time and they may be able to understand your pain in the future.

 

[justsad&done]

You can't keep the pain from happening to your girls if you choose suicide. It's just not possible. Even if they are surrounded with love and support, they will still have lost a parent.
My pain, sadness and grief are overwhelming, but I am trying to hold on because of being a parent.

 

[FluffyDove]

I have a pre teen I'll be leaving behind. It kills me tbh, the pain they'll feel their whole life. I almost wish I could just take them with me