Help Advice for one on the fence?

[Raised Rat]

A little over a year ago I was kicked out of my place by my parents. Had two younger siblings as well but at this point I've forgotten what their voices sound like. Dropped out of college a week ago. Didn't even drop out because of grades or anything which made the choice to dropout more difficult I guess. Current living situation is pretty shit but some people have showed me kindness. Have a partner who's been with me since I got kicked out in the beginning, and I thought they were the only thing keeping me here but overtime that feeling has faded. Not eligible for any health, dental, or whatever the fuck insurance, and any aid I get from the government would dissolve in less than a year. Barely making enough to eat right now and as a result I've lost 25 pounds in the last week and I already have to start repaying my student loans. I've had people tell me it'll get better and like I said I do get support now and then (and for that I'm grateful) but even if it does get better I'm just... tired. The only thing still making me sit on the fence about catching the bus is my partner and the horrible grief they would go through. This is the only thing keeping me here and I still don't know how I feel about that. I want it to be over. I want it to be quiet. But at the same time I'm still torn between this and my partner. Any advice or help?

 

[Holu]

If I could offer advice I would, but honestly I have no answer for this.

The pain you're experiencing, and the situation you are in just sounds hopeless. I'm sorry, truly.

You are very noble for staying alive for your partner.

Ultimately, this situation is entirely up to you.

Do you still have fight left? Is it possible to continue on? Is it worth it?

If not then how can you minimize the pain of your loved one following your passing?

Regardless, please know that they love you, and as such will forgive you, even if it takes time.

I'm sorry for the arduous battle you're facing. You have suffered greatly, and to still be here shows me how very strong you are. We will do our best to help and are here if you need us. Best wishes to you soldier.

 

[MissionSucksAssFul]

the most evil thing this society did was make us live as slaves and tell us that we're free... Condolences, frend

 

[gardenofaphrodite]

I feel the same. I think one of the only reasons I'm not trying to ctb again yet is because of my partner & our cats. I don't know if he could handle that loss.

 

[Raised Rat]

If I could offer advice I would, but honestly I have no answer for this.

The pain you're experiencing, and the situation you are in just sounds hopeless. I'm sorry, truly.

You are very noble for staying alive for your partner.

Ultimately, this situation is entirely up to you.

Do you still have fight left? Is it possible to continue on? Is it worth it?

If not then how can you minimize the pain of your loved one following your passing?

Regardless, please know that they love you, and as such will forgive you, even if it takes time.

I'm sorry for the arduous battle you're facing. You have suffered greatly, and to still be here shows me how very strong you are. We will do our best to help and are here if you need us. Best wishes to you soldier.

Damn, reading this kinda helped. Still wanna die but, idk. Made me feel a bit better. Thank you

 

[Holu]

Damn, reading this kinda helped. Still wanna die but, idk. Made me feel a bit better. Thank you

Very very glad to know that something I said helped, even if it was very small. We as a community gotta stay together.

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds like such an awful and tiring situation to be in, the fact that many people suffer so much all through no fault of their own certainly shows that this world is such a hellish place. But anyway, it's a personal decision deciding what you should do, only you know if you should continue existing, I believe that nobody is obligated to stay here, such a decision can only be made by the individual.