admitting myself into a mental hospital tomorrow

[plushjuggybandit]

im admitting myself into a mental hospital tomorrow morning.

i nearly killed myself last night and tonight. the suicidal ideation is getting to a point i cant manage anymore.
i think this is my last resort. all that stopped me last night was hearing my mum cough upstairs and realising she was awake.
tonight i almost did it but then decided to admit myself before i did that.

i still feel really invalid, like i dont deserve help and like its not bad enough yet. but i know on paper it is.
im nervous but i think its a good decision. i hope.

ive been dealing with these thoughts too long, since i was about 12. ive tried and ive tried and ive tried but no help ive been able to give myself has been consistent.
i really hope this works and i dont have to come back to this site again

wish me luck ive never been admitted before idk what to expect.
do they let u smoke ?? or vape ?? i hope so lol

 

[deathLiberation]

Good luck

 

[stillunemployed]

They will let you smoke, you will probably smoke more that ever. Not sure about vaping, though.
I would be surprised, if they let you do some exercise.
I am only judging by my experience and that was more than a decade ago.

I dont know the place youre going, if its not in a city, you will probably be somewhere near a small town in big complex with lots of buildings. Sort of a picturesque place with nice views.

Expect to be bored. A lot. The people working there are just doing a job. Some will be good and caring. Some will be assholes.
Maybe you'll be lucky and encounter a doctor actually willing to go the extra mile with you.
Or maybe you will scared and traumatized by your stay, so you never ever try to go there again.

Im sorry, but these things are just a gamble.

 

[catowice]

Hey there! Good luck. Would love to hear your stories!

 

[western_heart]

Good luck! not all hospitals will let you smoke, it'll depend on the facility and their policies. If you know what hospital you'll be ending up at, you can look at their website in advance. Some hospital systems are strict about not allowing smoking anywhere on their property. Facilities that don't allow smoking should provide a nicotine substitute.

The hospital I was sent to allowed smoking cigarettes (and ONLY cigarettes, no vapes). I don't even smoke regularly but I did while I was there for the hell of it, when it wasn't too cold & someone was willing to share or there were some cigarettes left behind from patients who were discharged. They had 4 smoke breaks at the same times every day. One time one of the staff members gave me one lol.

 

[alonely]

Best of luck, I hope you find the help that you are looking for, hugs~