Venting Addicted to cutting

[ih8libras]

I hate that i love cutting. Recently things are not very good. I am aware im not in a good spot mentally. I look forward to cutting after work. It makes me feel so much better. I have thoughts like "i deserve this" or just anger and hatred toward myself. Sometimes they dont sting enough so i do more. I wish i never started. I am so fucking sad and angry.