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Final Escape

I’ve been here too long
Jul 8, 2018
4,348
So I think now I'm in full on post acute withdrawal from adderall. Today was horrible. The last couple nights insomnia set in. I can go to sleep easily but then I'll wake up at weird hours and struggle to go back to bed. Then the next day I'm just unmotivated and rotten mood. I almost felt like I was going crazy today with obsessive thoughts that will repeat. Overall I really do feel better but I'm sure I can expect to be in PAWS for awhile.

I should be in some type of counseling or group therapy but I haven't been able to do it. I did see a doctor for something unrelated and got a referral for emdr and dbt but I just have a feeling it will be limited access since mental health stuff is in high demand but short supply.

I have tried emdr on myself with the emdr vids on YouTube and it helped a bit but I'm sure it works better if u go through the process correctly with a qualified therapist. Im tempted to buy an emdr device to try at home. I thought maybe I would use the device as I write out past events that still haunt me to process past traumas.

I feel a lot less on edge off the adderall, the impending doom is a little less severe. I still have it but when I was on it, way more severe. I was chronically fatigued, sleep deprived, anxious, paranoid, and it was hard to think too far ahead. I have more inner calm again. My work is harder because my emotions aren't numbed out but I can manage for now. I'm still considering ctb but it just doesn't have that rushing towards it quality. I can think and plan it out better off the adderall. That is all :)
 
Last edited:
SMarie1204

SMarie1204

Member
Feb 25, 2019
62
I can promise you from experience that it does take time but you will feel better. Showers/tea/weed helped but I only felt better when someone told me to just be kind to myself. PAWS is actual, literal hell and time seems to drag on, but take it day by day until your body starts making sense again. It's out of your control so maybe some melatonin to sleep, and really just give yourself a break to feel like crap. You can pm me if you like, I've had to withdraw from benzos and adderall and I felt like an actual gremlin. I've been on both sides. I hope you feel better soon and are able to take some time off to just heal <3
 
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Final Escape

I’ve been here too long
Jul 8, 2018
4,348
I can promise you from experience that it does take time but you will feel better. Showers/tea/weed helped but I only felt better when someone told me to just be kind to myself. PAWS is actual, literal hell and time seems to drag on, but take it day by day until your body starts making sense again. It's out of your control so maybe some melatonin to sleep, and really just give yourself a break to feel like crap. You can pm me if you like, I've had to withdraw from benzos and adderall and I felt like an actual gremlin. I've been on both sides. I hope you feel better soon and are able to take some time off to just heal <3
Thanks :)
 
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SMarie1204

SMarie1204

Member
Feb 25, 2019
62
Thanks :)
There are really no words for PWS and detoxing is always crazy..just expect to feel awful and much more depressed--but anything you feel is totally normal. you'll live (haaa bad joke)
 
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K

kkatt

Paragon
Nov 12, 2018
967
I'm a member of Bluelight. Bluelight
Bluelight home

It's a large forum for drug users but also offers support threads for those in various stages of recovery. Just a thought.
 
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Final Escape

I’ve been here too long
Jul 8, 2018
4,348
There are really no words for PWS and detoxing is always crazy..just expect to feel awful and much more depressed--but anything you feel is totally normal. you'll live (haaa bad joke)
Yea I feel like I want to jump out of my skin a lot more. Depression and loss of interest. Things are overwhelming. Getting started is much more difficult. I procrastinate much worse but I'm adjusting.
 

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