Help Accidentally alarmed my friend and now they're monitoring me

[sadbunnyhop]

I dont have any set intentions yet, but I have been more quiet and withdrawn which has alarmed a close friend. Problem is we have to see each other often due to work and other things. They keep asking me if im okay but I really don't enjoy lying to them. Is there any way I can fix this and get them to stop asking without being rude? Ive tried acting more lively around them but it becomes very draining very quickly, and I end up dropping the act.

 

[SexyIncél]

Maybe you can say that you're studying meditation? Maybe mention a zen koan that's been engrossing you lately. Or sound like Eckhart Tolle

And thank them for caring, but these questions trigger bad memories & unhealthy ways of thinking... Turbulent ripples disturbing the Clarity of No-Thought

 

[willitpass]

Tell them you're struggling a little bit but that you've been seeing/ have plans to see a therapist. Reassure them that it's nothing too big, just a case of the blues, and that if you need anything you'll let them know.

Side note: if you haven't seen a therapist before I would recommend it. It may not help but it very well may. Obviously up to you, just thought I would mention it.

 

[voc_89]

the 'mask' (acting more lively) is maybe the only thing that will alleviate their concern over time (especially if they never saw the real you). It is draining though. Um personally I have spent several years crafting the illusion that I am never on my phone. So I can disappear for long stretches (a must for 'masking') without drawing attention as people rarely contact me as they know they are very unlikely to get into contact with me. I did get some friction when I deleted my social media (FB, Insta, etc.) but that died down as I told them that it wasn't benefiting me as I rarely used it and as such it was always getting hacked. This took about 2/3 years to create though. Something that would be harder if you known to be a socialite. If u REALLY REALLY HAVE TO you can tell them though that u going through some things and need some space to work it through. If they really are a close friend they will understand.

 

[sadbunnyhop]

Tell them you're struggling a little bit but that you've been seeing/ have plans to see a therapist. Reassure them that it's nothing too big, just a case of the blues, and that if you need anything you'll let them know.

Side note: if you haven't seen a therapist before I would recommend it. It may not help but it very well may. Obviously up to you, just thought I would mention it.

Thank you, and I actually had my first visit with my new therapist after over a year without therapy today, and it made me feel worse. She was nice, but when she was asking about my history I just realized ive been in the same dark loop for over a decade. As for my friend, I decided to tell them im just going through one of my depressive episodes and booked another therapy appointment for next week.

the 'mask' (acting more lively) is maybe the only thing that will alleviate their concern over time (especially if they never saw the real you). It is draining though. Um personally I have spent several years crafting the illusion that I am never on my phone. So I can disappear for long stretches (a must for 'masking') without drawing attention as people rarely contact me as they know they are very unlikely to get into contact with me. I did get some friction when I deleted my social media (FB, Insta, etc.) but that died down as I told them that it wasn't benefiting me as I rarely used it and as such it was always getting hacked. This took about 2/3 years to create though. Something that would be harder if you known to be a socialite. If u REALLY REALLY HAVE TO you can tell them though that u going through some things and need some space to work it through. If they really are a close friend they will understand.

Ive also disabled/reenabled my social media and slowly stopped using other forms. Right now im only active on two forms of social media, and when I disable one of them I don't get too many worrying messages anymore. I really only have to worry about this particular person, and my birth mom/siblings trying to contact me since they try to talk to me daily. I definitely need to work more on normalizing getting some alone time from interacting with them all. My birth mom might be the hardest because she calls me EVERY day.

 

[funnyjoy]

Same here man. I regret not hiding it well enough, now they took everything I could use to ctb and I'm under constant watch. I really don't want to be here right now.

I hope you find peace man, if you're set on leaving just keep it down low until they think you're out of it. I unfortunately dont know what you could do about them constantly asking now, but I know eventually they'll stop.